Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

Vonny did you read the title of this thread?
None of your jokes qualify.

Two Iranians walk into a convenience store. They buy it.

I don't get it. Aren't they supposed to be Pakistani?

A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear. He says, “What is wrong with me?

The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”

Why don't they qualify? Bad - really bad - really long- really awful?

Your last joke was an oldie but goodie, Vonny.

Over here, the White House is always involved...and a guard at its gates.

The first name I think I heard as part of the punchline was Dwight Eisenhower...and I've heard damn near every president's name used also.

The guard always smiles...and looks forward to seeing the questioner again.

Very long, tedious way to say one does not like the incumbant.

There once was a pervert named Weiner,
who had a perverted demeanor.
Forced from the Hill for acting like Bill,
now Congress is one weiner leaner.


Moral:
"If you tweet your meat, you lose your seat!"

Very funny jokes vonny. Keep em coming

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident.
It's a bad one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.... My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...

vonny, that reminds me of one I heard about a couple named Adam and Eve. Except she had an apple instead of a bottle of plonk.

If they were really bad they would qualify.
Your jokes are really funny.

Hey, thanks - I think! I'm not really a good judge of what's funny - I'm English and we have a notoriously strange sense of humour! My attempts at captioning cartoons have gone down like the proverbial lead balloon - boingboingboing clunk ...

I was raised on English humour and think it's a little more subtle and dry than American. Benny Hill to me was British doing American humor.

Monty Python is what Americans typify as Limey yucks.

But on a bad joke thread-it's all good

Generally Bostonians (and people who know what's funny ...j/k) love Brit humor (exclusive of Benny Hill), for the most part. Mr. Bean, Monty Python and Fawlty Towers was huge in Boston and many college towns and NYC, as well. Whereas Midwesterners Brit humor doesn't register with, for some reason. It's a high concept vs...everyday sort of subject matter thing.

Objectively, typical Brit humor is very different flavor from typical American humor. But the best Brit humor...takes many Americans awhile to catch on to...but eventually they do. Humor is soooo subjective - more so than judging of acting is. IMHO, with regards to acting, many people can be more objective about as far as judging a performance art is concerned.