Just got through reading up and I agree with the others Marty. I have a neighbour who creeps me out from a distance and it's almost too much!
I know how you are about being nice and never wanting to offend people, only because I'm the same way. I use to be you, until I realized that I couldn't continue on like that. Some people need to be told they're not welcome. If you don't find a way to let them know, they'll continue to think you like having them around.
My neighbour comes outside every single freakin time I do and I'd love to go over and smack the pig, but, unfortunately, since he's on his property, I can't say a word. What I do do, though, is every time he comes outside, I go right back in and I'm going to have all kinds of fun planting privacy trees to block the whole view of their property.
Anyway, I suggest (like many others have) you avoid him, even make it obvious that you're avoiding him and if that doesn't work, all there's left is to tell him flat out that you prefer he doesn't come around anymore.
Be strong Marty and you'll be thankful you were.
Good luck with this guy and if he ever touches your butt again, kick him in the balls!
Montana, tell her one more time.....
Oh crap, he touched her butt..............I missed that,,,,,,and Marty needs to define her space, her kids will absorb the lesson, and that will be good for her son and daughter.
Because the men who raised me and shaped my view of decent behaviour were protective/respectful of young women (and all women), I was unprepared to deal with the unseemly behaviour that some folks inflicted on young women. So many of the inappropriate or opportunistic behavior that I experienced when I was first employed I assumed was accidental. At some point I realized I was dealing with dirty old men....I even used to say "oh, I'm sorry, because I thought I was in their way. When I realized that they had plenty of space when they rubbed their front on my backside while I was at the copier....I decided to confront the offenders. But that took a little bit of time, because I couldn't imagine a man my father's age getting his jollies by behaving in a rude fashion with young women. Lets just say, thanks to my Dad and my Irish irritability, once I realize what was happening, I figured out how to put a stop to it.
I have to say that I think most men are wonderful, I deeply enjoy the company of well-adjusted men. Sadly not all men are decent or respect women....they see women as some sort of sport...tell your daughters and your sisters to be careful. They don't have to avoid the public, but they need to be alert. There are more terrific men out there than creeps, just tell them to keep their antenna up. If you feel uncomfortable, pay attention to the feelings......it's an instinct that you should pay attention to and it may keep you safe.
I am not excusing women for their behaviour, I am talking about the situation that Marty is in and trying to help her deal with her concerns. If she has concerns or is troubled, then she absolutely needs to distance herself. The same advice is applicable to men in discomfort while they try to be nice guys and helpful. Not everyone can be helped by well meaning folks....it's important not to allow someone into your life that will sap your spirit and values.
Very well said, GB
Marty, we all care.
Stand up and hold your territory....
Excellent posts Glitter. I agree 100% with everything you've said so far.
There have been instances in my own life where I just didn't get the message, because it was too subtle, too "nice". Once I did get the message I felt stupid.
Marty stop being subtle and nice, be plain and upfront.
