Questions about Homosexuality

You can't intellectually or, for that matter, emotionally change or choose your sexual preference. It is not a choice. There are religious organizations who believe one can spiritually change sexual preference but I pity the poor woman who marries a "changed" gay man. That's what the movie "Brokeback Mountain" is really all about. One really has difficulty blaming the two characters. They know not what they do, so one has to forgive them.

Bisexuality suggests you may not be 100% correct.

Yeah.

One thing that I think has confused the picture -- 'cause I've had the "there is no such thing as bisexuality" discussion with many gay men -- is that there are a lot of gay men who have followed the basic Jack/ Ennis model. Since they couldn't be gay comfortably, they went ahead and married women, etc., even though they really were gay. The prevalence of that type/ scenario has a lot of gay men (that I know) doubting whether anyone is actually bisexual, or just in the closet and unwilling to step out of it completely.

However, I think there really are bisexual people too. As in, there are the gay men who are in the closet, are sexually active with both men and women, and call themselves "bi" when they're really gay but don't want to own up to it (to themselves or others); but then there's a whole 'nother group that really are just plain bi. Attracted to men, attracted to women, and comfortable with their own sexuality.

By the way, while I haven't seen the movie, from the story I'd say Jack was a six and Ennis was a three or four. (From the Kinsey scale on the first page of this thread.)

A gay man married to a woman? I have heard of that, but I don't get it. I know there are social pressures to contend with, but there is always the option to remain single, isn't there?

I think there is a lot more on the line, for various reasons, with gay men vs. gay women.

It's as though people question their very manliness. By marrying a woman, they can somewhat cement that idea that they are indeed men in people's eyes. It's a lot more complicated than that, and I am not a gay male, but I have empathy for the pressures they face to come out and remain single. Also, there is the whole deal of finding companionship and some form of love within a hetero family unit.

Naw, bisexuals with little exception are gay men who are in denial. I'm not saying that there aren't those that could be wired to be on the edge of the fence. I've been with some of those. Every rule has an exception. Like "i" coms before "e" except in case of "c." Okay, spell

ancient

What about bisexual women? Are they D.I.D. (dykes in denial) ?

Generally speaking of course...

Woman being wired diffently than men, I don't believe they have the hang-ups about experimentation. A great many men experiment with homosexuality when they are quite young but later on get bitten with that machismo bug that turns them too often into crass, not very attractive adults. Kinsey explored the tip of the iceburg and really not much more of the iceburg has been revealed, not even by Masters and Johnson. It seems to me that there has been a "leave well enough alone" attitude growing in the US regarding sex. It won't ever reach the Christian fundamentalist or Orthodox Jews 'cause they have set their vision of the world in stone. I frankly think they are stoned.

well i must be weird, never been into girls kissed some of my girlfriends on coked up attention seeking outings, but we would do it for attention. Never ever felt attracted towards women, at one stage i thought this complete lack of interest in women was my denial for my lesbian inclinations, you know that whole thing if you feel so strongly about something you must be in denial... What can I say men piss me off but when it comes to bedroom action they turn me on.

You're stoned.

huh what?

And you *know* this because? BTW I am bi as was my first wife. I think it's all OK, as still does my first wife.

well you see that's just it all my friends have experienced these bi feelings except me i feel left out!

or in denial... but then man am i good at it, denial that is.

Well, Chumly, welcome to the exception.

(And how many male bi-sexual friends did you say you had?)

Two examples I know of personally, echi.

First example, supposedly happy heterosexual couple with 3 children, married for 15+ years. Husband tells wife he's been gay, but in denial, his entire life. Can't deny it any longer, has found the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Couple divorces, husband moves out, wife sells house - downsizes to something she can afford, moves with two children still at home, tries to restart her life, eventually succeeds.

Second example, gay male (not out) gets pressure from family to settle down and get married. Finds bi female getting similar pressures from her family. They marry, have a child, each continuing their separate lifestyles. Gay man dies of AIDS, bi female relocates to other side of the country (still not out), raising daughter as a single mom.

It's not as unusual as you'd think.

I know a young gay man (local waiter), who had come out to his family, and they rejected him. He was so miserable, he impregnanted a girl and married her.

He simply told his parents he'd changed.

They bought it. This is probably how a lot of those "You can change if you really want to badly enough" bs came from.

Crazy.

The poor girl he married -- it is sure to have a bad ending. You can't just say to yourself, "I'm officially rewired" or "I can do this and not be ashamed of who I am." Somewhere along the line it will turn out badly.