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Questions about Homosexuality

 
 
sozobe
 
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 11:05 am
On another thread, Momma Angel indicated she had some questions for me. The person who started that thread has indicated that she is not patient with digressions, and so Momma Angel suggested that we have the conversation about the questions she had via PM. I replied that I'd prefer to just go ahead and start a new thread about it, and here it is.

She asked the first question via PM, and gave me permission to quote from it:

In a PM, Momma Angel wrote:
But, with Betty and Sue, my friends, in Betty's case, she says she believes she was born homoxexual. Sue does not feel she was born homosexual. She did not in her words here, "become homosexual" until about 12 years ago. She said she wasn't attracted to women, etc., until then. But, she met Betty and that was it.

Now, does this mean that Sue is not a homosexual but just living like one? It appears, in her case, she did choose this, but Betty didn't. We have discussed this and it's funny, but we always end up laughing about this and they keep telling me there's hope for me yet (because I can always choose like Sue did.) They are some pretty cool ladies, sozobe.


There are a few elements involved in my answer. One is the Kinsey scale:

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/images/rating-scale.jpg

That holds that sexuality is not some binary, either-or thing, but falls along a continuum. Some people (like, I'd venture to say, you ;-)) are at the straight extreme ("O"). They have no attraction to the same sex at all. Some are at the gay extreme ("6"). They have no attraction to the opposite sex, at all.

Then there are a bunch of people who are more in the middle ("1" through "5".) They have the ability to be attracted to the same sex, but whether that happens or not depends on a lot of factors.

It sounds like Sue is maybe a 2 or 3, while Betty is a 5 or 6.

All of us are bombarded from an early age with information about how heterosexual relationships are normal and desirable. Disney movies, fairytales, and on and on. That is, therefore, usually the default mode. People who are anything but a 5 or 6 grow up assuming that they will fall in love with someone who is the opposite sex, and they often do.

People who are a 6, though, since they have absolutely no attraction to the opposite sex, never buy into that. They know that a heterosexual relationship does not interest them, often from very early on.

People who are a 2 or 3 may go for a long time in their lives -- especially if they are in a conservative environment, where a same-sex relationship takes on an especially pejorative cast -- without feeling any attraction to someone of the same sex. But then they might meet someone who brings out that attraction. Or, they may go their whole lives in heterosexual relationships.

To summarize -- I think the vast majority of the population has some bisexual tendencies, that are either acted upon or not. Whether these people live as heterosexuals or not has a lot to do with current social mores. That is, the same male "3" that in the time of the Greeks would not hesitate to take on a male lover as was common then would be a lot less likely to have sex with a man today.

Then there is a smaller part of the population that is either completely straight or completely gay/lesbian, and circumstances won't change that.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 11:16 am
(By the way, Greeks are still around, heh... I meant during the time of the ancient Greeks, Homer et al.)
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 11:20 am
I thought Homer was from Springfield?!
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 11:21 am
D'oh!
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 11:32 am
I'm so gay I could make your toes curl.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 12:00 pm
Oooh baby.

Btw I'm about to go out for a while, so if this finally gets going, don't worry if I don't respond right away.
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squinney
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 12:13 pm
What sozobe said makes sense to me.

I know there is a trend in suburban "Springfield" for teens to accept bi-sexuality and explore WAAAAY more than in my day.
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JPB
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 12:21 pm
Makes sense to me too. Last year I heard the term 'questioning' for the first time as one who is trying to identify how they feel and who they are attracted to. The alliance groups and support groups at the high school are now for GLBTQ. I guess the questioning group would reasonably fall into the 1s or 2s in the graph.
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 12:50 pm
Sozobe,

Thanx for starting this thread. I am hoping it will help answer some of my questions. I'd really like to hear others' views on whether one is born homosexual or not or some are and some aren't?

As I understand it so far as science goes, they don't have a definite answer? I'm glad I can talk to Betty and Sue about this because it helps but I only have two views and then what I consider to be who knows floating out there (TV, media, etc.)? Some say this, some say that, and most of those some aren't homosexual so how would they know anyway?
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:12 pm
I also was born white. Funny how things can change.
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:23 pm
cjhsa,

I hope you don't think I am trying to offend or make fun of or anything with these questions. Everyone pretty much knows what my religious beliefs are concerning this issue. But, even before I had those religious beliefs, I had a feeling (I don't know if that's the correct word or not for this) that homosexuality is wrong. Yes, my religious beliefs reinforce that.

It's hard for me because I understand this issue is very difficult for everyone. Those that are homosexuals have gone through so much because of how others have treated them for being different. And I can understand the side of those that feel homosexuality is wrong, but I cannot, will not, and do not agree with anyone hurting someone else because they are different, whatever the difference.

I'm sure you know that Christianity (I can't speak for all other religions here) teaches that homosexuality is a choice. Now, do they mean the sexual act or the feeling part? I don't know, cjhsa. I'm trying to find answers. I'm trying to understand this issue.

My two lesbian friends seem to be quite the rarity, especially around here in the deeper South. They are probably more open-minded than anyone I know in real life. But, as you can see, Betty thinks one way and Sue thinks another so I don't have a lot of information to go on.

Sozobe was nice enough to start this thread for me to help me find those answers. So, if you really are so gay it would curl my toes, Laughing and I'm not really quite sure what that means, can you help me to understand?
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:31 pm
I believe we are born gay. I watched a study on homosexual men who were hooked up to this brain machine and shown pictures of attractive men. Heterosexual women were also hooked up to this brain machine and shown pictures of attractive men. In the men's brains, the same areas lit up as in the women's brains, indicating that homosexuality is not a choice, but a genetic thing.
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:33 pm
Bella Dea,

Is there a chance you might remember the name of the show or what kind of channel it was on such as History, Science, etc. I would like to see this. Thank you for answering Bella Dea.

Oh, how did Zoe do last night? Did you get some rest?
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:34 pm
She didn't bark at all. Yeeha! We will see tonight if she was just tired or if she has stopped being a pooper-head.

I believe it was Discovery...maybe Discovery Health or TLC. It's been a while.
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:35 pm
I'm just funnin' with ya. Didn't mean to make a fuss. I have no problem with gays, just don't like the agenda being forced on our society, particularly by Hollywood.

As far as men looking at men goes, I could look at George Clooney or any other "good looking" man all day long and, I'm quite positive, have absolutely none of those types of thoughts. Nada. Yuck.
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:39 pm
Glad to hear she did ok, Bella Dea. I'm about to neuter a cat myself! This Himalayan sounds like a danged peacock and won't quit.

cjhsa,

Ok, so you're NOT gay? Ok, I'm pretty confused as it is Laughing , ya know :wink: . But, I can understand about the agenda thing. I think we all have some kind of agenda out there (abortion, gays, death penalty, etc.) and I think we all just need to take our turns.

So, if anyone else out there can help with my questions, I'd be so grateful.

Sozobe, did I thank you? If not, thank you for doing this.http://www.smileys.ws/smls/yahoo/00000040.gif
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jpinMilwaukee
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:44 pm
What does it matter if someone is born gay or chooses to be gay?
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:45 pm
Oh I'm gay all right. So gay in fact that my gayness glows dayglow orange like an orb of truth in a pile of dull lies.

Just not that kind of gay.
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:46 pm
Hi jp,

I'm not sure it DOES matter, JP. I just am undecided as if it is a choice or not. I am trying to learn as much as I can about this so I can understand it better.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 01:47 pm
It matters a lot to the bible-thumpers, who claim that being homosexual is a "life-style choice." They don't get to say that homosexuals are mentallty ill any longer, which kind of spoils their party, so now they would like to insist that people don't have to be homosexual, they simply choose to do so. That's as close as they can now come to calling homosexuality a perversion and get away with it in public discourse. Of course, they can always fall back on saying it is a "sin," and that that is "just what i believe," avoiding the messy problems associated with justifying one's hatred and bigotry (which, as is usually the case with hatred and bigotry, is likely based on fear and ignorance).
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