Wrong Answer Game

Q: bobsal etc - How do they get those eight great tomatoes in that little bitty can?

A: This is a 'commercial-in-confidence' trade secret, but as a disrupter, this Dant can tell you that they don't actually put the tomatoes in, but rather they teach the tomatoes the intricacies of the children's game 'sardines', and encourage said tomatoes to get in of their own accord; this explains why you will sometimes encounter a half-tomato in the can; these rogue tomatoes got in, and tried to get out again; the machinery is set to recognise this, and deliberately cuts them in half as a lesson to the others

Q: How do otters know the time?

(Know) Does any otter really know what time it is?
(Care) Does any otter really care?
(About time) If so, I can't imagine why
(Oh no, no) Otters all got time enough to cry


Why would anyone even conceive of a screen door on a submarine?

Q: bobsal etc - Why would anyone even conceive of a screen door on a submarine?

A: In point of fact, one of the biggest problems in keeping a submarine clean and orderly, pest and disease free etc, is the existence of marine cockroaches! These evil beasts once inhabited all submarines until one day a smart and clever engine-room artificer decided to install a screen door at the top of the conning tower; the artificer was given a medal, and the task of removing the dead and dying marine cockroaches from the exterior of the screen door each time the submarine surfaced; it has been reported that the artificer is now in the process of designing a screen door to repel the Kraken

Q: With regard to 'sowing wild oats' - has a genetically modified wild oat been made available as yet?

Q: With regard to 'sowing wild oats' - has a genetically modified wild oat been made available as yet?

A: yes, but it ran off to sow itself.

Q: Why is the sky so blue?

A: The moon left it, so tragic.

Q: Why is our roof leaking?

A: Because it's raining.

Q: Does a wolverine make a good pet?

Q: Does a wolverine make a good pet?

A: Yes. Once you get prosthetic arms to replace the ones it chewed off, they settle down nicely. Some people prefer spitting cobras, though.

Q: Can you cook inside an igloo?

Wait, that's the correct answer ...

Quite right.

A: Because you forgot to turn it off.

Q: - coluber2001 - Can you cook inside an igloo?

A: Yes, provided you don't use the 'Defrost' setting on the microwave

Q: Why isn't a foursome of erratic golfers called a 'Foresome'?

A: If you have enough snow to build another one immediately afterwards, it should be no problem.

Q: Why is public nudity frowned upon?

A: Because the word already has a meaning. It refers to males who have not been circumcised.

Q: Is it true that if you hit the ground while dreaming that you're falling, you'll die?

Q: Is it true that if you hit the ground while dreaming that you're falling, you'll die?

A: I've fallen to the ground many times in dreams, leapt from tall buildings, bridges, and cliffs. It's fun. However, the opposite effect may occur in people who never wake, so you never know.

Q: Can you really get shocked by putting a fork in a toaster and touching the elements? If so, then why can you put a pan on an electric stove element without it shorting out.

A: Yes, a toaster will turn on you if you start poking and prodding it with a fork. Wouldn't you? Part of the reason for its zero-tolerance policy toward prodders is that, when compared to the full and active life of an electric stove, a toaster can feel uninvolved, unloved, and limited to a few measly minutes use each day.

Q: What's the difference between a stone and a rock?

A: We start off as rocks but after innumerable defeats, frustrations, and disappointments are crushed into stones. But things get better at the end. We end up useful as fine gravel at the bottom of an aquarium.

Q: If you can't think of a stupid question, is that a sign of intelligence?

Q: coluber2001 - If you can't think of a stupid question, is that a sign of intelligence?

A: No. The sign of intelligence is not being able to come up with an answer to a stupid question

Q: Why do people ask for the time, when in the grand scheme of things, the human concept of time is completely irrelevant?

A: Because they're trying to get through life without having to buy a watch. When they ask you for the time, teach them a lesson by giving them the wrong time.

Q: What makes a whip crack?

Q: What makes a whip crack?

A: Probably, self-flagellation. Or maybe the tip breaking the sound barrier or something like that.

Q: Can everything be solved mathematically?

A: Yes, and this can be proven mathematically.

Q: Why is money (or the love of it) the root of all evil?

Q: Glenn - Why is money (or the love of it) the root of all evil?

A: Because I don't have any, and those *&%$#@*&^ at the bank have the lot! They and their cronies (lawyers, accountants, earth-moving contractors, plumbers and suchlike) have cornered the market on money, and each and every one of them and their antecedents are truly evil!

Q: If a hare decided to invest in the stock market, would his cronies accuse him of inventing hare-brained schemes?