Wrong Answer Game

Q: Now look at this! And tell me why! The plural of the word 'minute' (the measurement of time) is 'minutes' and yet the plural of the word 'minute' (meaning 'small', 'tiny') is 'minutiae'! Why is it so?

A: Someone on Wheel of Fortune realized you could buy two vowels for the price of one. "I'd like to buy a diprhong æ, Pat." Pat Sajak is thoroughly discombobulated having never heard of a diphthong and decides to retire.

Q: Do bats get confused by an eclipse?

Q: Do bats get confused by an eclipse?

A: Only the ones who refuse to read.

Q: Shouldn't we be outside waiting for the eclipse?

Glennn - Q: Shouldn't we be outside waiting for the eclipse?

A: It is always a good idea to be outside waiting for the Uber to arrive... in this way you get moving quickly and don't hold up any other traffic in the street... So Yes, Glennn, you should be outside waiting!

https://www.carsales.com.au/editorial/details/2024-mitsubishi-eclipse-cross-updated-144500/

Q: Why does a Cyclops only have one eye?

Q: Why does a Cyclops only have one eye?

A: Because they thought it would cut their chances of getting poked in the eye by half!

Q: Why isn't there such a thing as rocking-couches?

A: It's rare that two people have the exact same rhythm. I sat on a piece of lawn furniture for two people that was suspended on a frame and was free swinging, and the effect was not calming because our rhythms were often contrary.

Q: Golf is a non-competitive sport, so why are amateur golfers so intent on making it appear so?

coluber - Q: Golf is a non-competitive sport, so why are amateur golfers so intent on making it appear so?

A: Golf? Non-competitive? Nobody told the players this! It behooves you, coluber, to make this known among the golfing fraternity! What with the Masters to be started today (11 April) at Augusta, you could do worse than to hie thyself there and spread the word that as from today there is to be no more competitive play among golfers! No more 'Nearest the pin', no more '4 Ball Better Ball' etc etc

Q: Why don't rats have a bladder?

Q: Why don't rats have a bladder?

A: It was believed that it was the result of bad economic conditions; rats can't afford shyt. Later it was discovered that in 1764, rat bladders were outlawed as rats were notorious for misusing them.

Q: Is crying really healthy?

Glennn - Q: Is crying really healthy?

A: The Psychologists and Psychiatrists tell us that a good cry is as good as a holiday! No, wait! Ummmm, I think my mixed were metaphors there! All this Dant knows is that 'crying is the last refuge of the scoundrel' and we have put it (crying) to good use on many occasions in the past... with regard to the 'healthy' aspect of crying, may we suggest that the holiday would serve better

Q: A Pastor, a Priest, and a Rabbi went into a bar... what happened next?

Q: A Pastor, a Priest, and a Rabbi went into a bar... what happened next?

A: They couldn't agree on anything, so they played a game of poker to determine who was rightest with the lord. Nobody won. More to the point, none of them understood what that meant.

Q: What are dogs saying when you hear them barking at each other?

Your joke is very similar to a Sufi parable.

It's a Christian, a Muslim and a Jew who share a sum of money.

They all say they want to spend it on something different

At the end a Sufi tells them they all want the same thing, grapes.

Glennn - Q: What are dogs saying when you hear them barking at each other?

A: This depends entirely on the situation each dog finds itself in - a chained-up dog, or one who is held captive inside some sort of enclosure, is ALWAYS saying to the other barker 'Come over here and say that!' - free range dogs are always saying 'I'm bad! I'm the son/daughter of a junkyard dog! C'mon and try it bozos!' and suchlike - But then, there is always the possibility they are discussing the stock market...

Q: Why PINEapple? Why not ASHapple or MAPLEapple or WILLOWapple?

Q: Why PINEapple? Why not ASHapple or MAPLEapple or WILLOWapple?

A: Well, to be blunt, Apple was a rather promiscuous fruit, and did not hesitate to put the moves on Pine. When Pine became pregnant as a result, Apple wanted no part of their spawn. So Pine took Apple to court to claim the legal right to call their offspring Pineapple. The judge agreed and the rest is history.

Q: Are the Three Stooges based on three real guys?

Q: Are the Three Stooges based on three real guys?

A: That is unknown, but they have been emulated in politics, namely Maga, and there are no shortages of the sociopathic Moe. When I think of Maga, I think of The Three Stooges minus the humor.

Q: What is more American than apple pie?

Lots of countries make apple pie. We have some pretty ancient apple trees over here. So we don't think of apple pie as being even a little bit American.

It would have to be something only Americans eat, like hominey grits.

When we think of that it's 100% Yankee Doodle Candy.

Is anything more annoying than tuneless whistling?

Q: What is more American than apple pie?

A: War and warmongering.

Q: Why is the skin of trees called "bark."

Q: Is anything more annoying than tuneless whistling?

A: Tuneless belching.

Q: What does "stool pigeon" refer to?

Q: Why is the skin of trees called "bark."

A: It probably has something to do with the dogwood tree.

Q: Why do dogs prefer bonesai trees?

coluber - Q: Why do dogs prefer bonesai trees?

A: Dogs prefer the bonesai tree (Canis preferentialus) because it doesn't mask the smell of their urine when they lift their leg against it (some trees are known to be meanies, and deliberately exude a masking pheromone when a dog they don't like lifts their leg on them)... this then means that Woofy can make huge detours through the territory of his neighbours (while they are having their afternoon siesta) and spray and spritz to his heart's content!

Q: Why are some word-groupings in the particular order they appear in? Think 'bacon and eggs', 'hard and fast', 'wet and dry', 'to and fro', 'up and down' & etc...

Q: Why are some word-groupings in the particular order they appear in? Think 'bacon and eggs', 'hard and fast', 'wet and dry', 'to and fro', 'up and down' & etc...

A: We always identify with the first of the pair. For instance: I'm up, hard, wet, and balcony (fat).
 
Q: Why is a black cat bad luck?

coluber - Q: Why is a black cat bad luck?

A: Since when? George Dubya Bush had a black cat called 'India' (although Dubya called him 'Willie') and look how lucky Dubya was!

Bush won 271 electoral votes, one vote more than the 270-to-win majority, despite Gore receiving 543,895 more votes (a margin of 0.52% of all votes cast nationwide)

Q: ♪ ♫ ♪ Where the blue of the night
Meets the gold of the day
Someone waits for me... ♪ ♫ ♪

Who? Who is waiting for me? Am I safe?