Wrong Answer Game

Q: ♪ ♫ ♪ Where the blue of the night
Meets the gold of the day
Someone waits for me... ♪ ♫ ♪

Who? Who is waiting for me? Am I safe?

A: You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to find out. That's too early for me.

Q: 𝅘𝅥𝅮Somewhere beyond the sea, someone's waiting for me.𝅘𝅥𝅮 Is that the same person? Are we being stalked?

coluber - Q: 🎶 Somewhere beyond the sea,
Someone's waiting for me... 🎶

Is that the same person? Are we being stalked?

A: I can't answer for you coluber, but the person waiting for ME was the bailiff!

Q: Why can't we 'tap into' active volcanoes and get a source of heat for the local community?

Q: Why can't we 'tap into' active volcanoes and get a source of heat for the local community?

A: Well you can. The thing is, the relationship between the volcano god and humans remains the same today as it was in the beginning; there must be a sacrificial virgin thrown into the volcano before it would spare us the terrifying results of its eruptions, or grant favors.

So, yeah, the volcano god has no problem cooperating with humans and giving us what we need, so long as we cough up the virgin. But that's against the law now, so, no heat.

Q: How does a person know when it's time to retire?

Glennn - Q: How does a person know when it's time to retire?

A: When the tire is completely bald with no hint of a groove visible, and when the car/bike/truck slips and slides going around corners

Q: Why does an avocado have such a big seed?

Q: Why does an avocado have such a big seed?

A: Just nature at work, Dant. It's to draw the female of the species. That's all.

Q: Why do some vegetables contain twenty seeds while others contain a thousand?

Q: Why do some vegetables contain twenty seeds while others contain a thousand?

A: Some vegetables are seedy and hang out in dark, shady places. Others, like broccoli, frequent well-lit areas and are well respected.

Q: Redheads are called carrot tops so what kind of vegetable or fruit would you call a blonde?

coluber - Q: Redheads are called carrot tops so what kind of vegetable or fruit would you call a blonde?

A: Fragaria

Q: There is a saying 'East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet'... Does this mean Mark Twain was estranged from his family?

Fragaria is a great answer. I once knew a Fragaria blonde beauty.

Q: There is a saying 'East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet'... Does this mean Mark Twain was estranged from his family?

A: Whatever the differences were, I think Mark Twain could have resolved them with his wit and wisdom.

Q: What is it like to be between a rock and a hard place?

Q: What is it like to be between a rock and a hard place?

A: It's like being between a hard place and a rock, but in reverse.

Q: In what situation would it be okay to steal gas?

Glennn - Q: In what situation would it be okay to steal gas?

A: This song tells it all...

♪ ♫ ♪ I'm five hundred miles away from home
Teardrops fell on mama's note, when I read the things she wrote
She said, 'We miss you Dant, we love you, come on home'
Well, I didn't have to pack, I had it all right on my back
Now I'm five hundred miles away from home

Away from home, away from home
Cold and tired and all alone
Yes, I'm five hundred miles
Away from home

I know this is the same road I took the day I left home
But it sure looks different now
Well, I guess I look different too cause time changes everything
I wonder what they'll say, when they see their Dant looking this way
Oh, I wonder what they'll say when I get home

Can't remember when I ate, it's just thumb and walk and wait
And I'm still five hundred miles away from home
If I can do this thieving right, I'll be with them all tonight
But I'm still five hundred miles away from home

Away from home, away from home
Cold and tired and all alone
Yes, I'm five hundred miles
Away from home... ♪ ♫ ♪

And in the parking lot of a roadside restaurant, with an old chap who says he'll give me a lift but he's out of petrol/gas...

Q: What do you call the person who collects alpaca ordure?

Q: What do you call the person who collects alpaca ordure?

A: You call them somebody whom, for whatever reason, decided that stamp and coin collecting just didn't do it for them like alpaca ordure collecting did. Probably safe to say you could call them alone, too.

Q: Why is gold more valuable than, say, steel?

Q: Why is gold more valuable than, say, steel?

A: Gold costs more than steel, but it is less valuable, much less needed. It's similar to baseball players who are costlier but much less valuable than teachers.

Q: What makes popcorn pop?

Q: What makes popcorn pop?

A: Well, the popcorn isn't really popping. When you turn the heat up on those little buggers, they do their best to get the hell out of the pan--who wouldn't--and the popping sounds you hear is each of them as they slam into the lid trying to escape; a sound that, sadly, falls on deaf ears.

Q: Why are m&ms called m&ms, and not j&js?

A: m&m is short for mmmmmmm good.
They wanted X&X but it was rejected by the Ministry of Morals or something like that.

Q: It's a secret, but what do you imagine is in Spam, or what isn't in Spam?

coluber - Q: It's a secret, but what do you imagine is in Spam, or what isn't in Spam?

A: No need to speculate coluber! We at 'Dant Chemistry & Red Cordial Factory' have examined the contents of a can of spam and can report that it contains the following...
Spare rib gleanings
Particles of ears and tails
Anal canal tissue
Meatus lining tissue

Q: Why are there some birds in existence that are flightless?

Q: Why are there some birds in existence that are flightless?

A: When it comes to penguins, it's simple fear of heights. When it comes to emus and ostriches, they don't need to fly; they're big enough to kick ass.

Q: Why are calves de-horned?

Glennn - Q: Why are calves de-horned?

A: (We are assuming Glennn means bovine calves, not icebergs that calve, or any of the many beasts that have calves, including whales, elephants, camels, bison, elk, giraffes, gnus, hippopotami, moose, oxen, reindeer, rhinoceros, and yaks and others too numerous to mention)

So they can be sold to Opera Companies (to be added to Brunhilde's hat)

Q: Why are there no penguins in the Arctic?

Q: Why are there no penguins in the Arctic?

A: They're 100% against the Artic, antarctic, in other words. It's a cold war.

Q: Are witch's t**s really cold? Inquirers want to know.

coluber - Q: Are witch's t**s really cold? Inquirers want to know.

A: This depends entirely on what sort of footwear they use coluber! Those of a forward, bold disposition favour those strappy 'toeless' sandals and cold toes would be the result there! More sensible witches use fur-lined boots and are assured of toasty-warm toes at all times (although we add here that witches in the tropics are known to go barefoot on occasions)

BTW coluber... you seem to have a problem with certain keys on your keyboard there... it is interesting (to me, at least) that your system has chosen to use the asterisk * instead of letter 'i' and letter 't' there even tho' those letters appear elsewhere in your post!

Q: Would it be worth humankind's while to consider setting up living quarters in the Mariana Trench instead of on Mars? Think about it! Building materials need only be dumped over the side of a boat instead of being sent zillions of miles up to Mars... we would have to provide oxygen on Mars, so why not down in the trench? And so forth and so on...

Q: Would it be worth humankind's while to consider setting up living quarters in the Mariana Trench instead of on Mars? Think about it! Building materials need only be dumped over the side of a boat instead of being sent zillions of miles up to Mars... we would have to provide oxygen on Mars, so why not down in the trench? And so forth and so on...

A: I agree. Why do something easy like restoring and preserving the ecosystems on the Earth for everyone's benefit when we can attempt the nearly impossible for no one's benefit.

Q: Why would anybody jump out of an airplane?