Wrong Answer Game

Q: How do the leprechauns know where to put the pot of gold? I mean, they would have to be worldwide, would they not, 'cos rainbows pop up everywhere!

A: They're liars and tricksters. But they figure nobody will ever discover the lack of gold at the base of a rainbow until they are able to travel faster than light. Some of them become Zen Buddhist priests and have people trying to discover the sound of one hand clapping.

Q: While we're on the subject, what is the sound of one hand clapping?

Q: coluber2001 - Q: While we're on the subject, what is the sound of one hand clapping?

A: This is a real conundrum, caused by the fact that one hand doesn't know what the other hand is doing! On the other hand, it could get out of hand, unless you wanted to experience it at first hand, try your hand at it, but not when you've got your hands full, unless you know someone who could give you a hand, if that person was close at hand, that is...

Q: Why is it called 'Irish Coffee' when it is a well-known fact that coffee don't grow in the Emerald Isle?

A. It's not so well known that Irish Coffee has zero coffee. You get the beverage when you brew the pulverized bones of leprechauns.

Q.
Why has Law and Order (in one form or another) really been on the air for 32 years (tomorrow is the anniversary of the first episode)?

Q: tsarstepan - Why has Law and Order (in one form or another) really been on the air for 32 years (tomorrow is the anniversary of the first episode)?

A: A programing error perhaps?

Q: Has any aspect of 'Law And Order' rubbed off on the populace? I mean, crime is on the rise, right? Don't the people realise they are going to get caught?

Q: Has any aspect of 'Law And Order' rubbed off on the populace? I mean, crime is on the rise, right? Don't the people realise they are going to get caught?

A: Perhaps, the intelligence level of the law enforcement equals that of the perpetrator. I doubt that there are many Columbos, or Monks, or Sherlock Holmes out there. Maybe they are, but they don't get their own television show.

Q: If somebody really was as smart as Sherlock Holmes, would they go into law enforcement?

Q: coluber2001 - If somebody really was as smart as Sherlock Holmes, would they go into law enforcement?

A: Certainly not! We have never been told exactly what it was the Sherlock did for a crust, or how he got his money, but I strongly suspect he was involved in Bitcoin or suchlike

Q: Why did the alchemists spend so much time trying to turn lead into gold? Surely it would have been more profitable to sell the lead?

Q: Why did the alchemists spend so much time trying to turn lead into gold? Surely it would have been more profitable to sell the lead?

A: Alchemists weren't wealthy entrepreneurs or businessman, they were poor scientists trying to make money by turning small amounts of lead into gold.

Q: Inquirers want to know, when are you officially old?

Q: coluber2001 - Enquirers want to know, when are you officially old?

A: The day you put the car keys in the 'fridge

Q: Did the loaves used to feed the multitude come from a bakery franchise?

A. That's what BIG BAKERY wants you to think. Everyone knows that ALL bread grows like potatoes from a bread farm sited on the dark side of the Moon. Especially during the Greek and Roman empires.

Q. What does New Hampshire's state motto, "Live Free or Die" really mean?

Q. What does New Hampshire's state motto, "Live Free or Die" really mean?

A: It sounds like it could be the motto of a nudist colony, but that may be a seasonal thing because it gets quite cold up there.

Q: Why do insects fly toward lightbulbs?

Q: coluber2001 - Why do insects fly toward lightbulbs?

A: This is as a result of trickster lizards, cats, bats and other insectivorous creatures fooling the insects; these critters line up beneath the light bulbs and chant 'Warmer, you're getting warmer' until the insects get fried; they (the insects) had been told that the light bulb was in reality a golden globe of nectar, nice and warm and self-replenishing

Q: You can buy a pair of left-handed scissors... why can't you buy a left-handed screwdriver?

Q: You can buy a pair of left-handed scissors... why can't you buy a left-handed screwdriver?

A: You can, but they don't label them as such. They call them sinistral/dextral torque fasteners. Ask for one next time you visit Lowe's.

Q: What do you do with severely burnt pancakes?

Q: What do you do with severely burnt pancakes?
A. Place them in a time capsule with an opening date 100 years down the line. They can auction them off as religious relics and donate those funds to the Orphans and Widows of the future Great Aunt Jemima Wars (2095 to 2118).

Q. What would the average person DO for a Klondike bar?

Q: tsarstepan - What would the average person DO for a Klondike bar?

Hmmm... more information required stepan! Do you mean the Klondike ice-cream, or the Klondike the Candy bar? Or do you mean one of them hard-drinking establishments up in that god-forsaken place?

Q. What would the average person DO for a Klondike bar?

A: They would work 40 hours a week at a job they hate. All right, maybe for a steady supply of Klondike bars.

Q: Why do ghosts wear sheets?

Q: coluber2001 - Why do ghosts wear sheets?

A: Because they can't fit into a pillowcase

Q: What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Q: What was the best thing before sliced bread?

A: Spiced mead. And it went well with chunks of bread.

Q: Was planet Earth named after dirt or dirt named after planet Earth? If the prior, why wasn't it named planet Dirt?

Q: coluber2001 - Was planet Earth named after dirt or dirt named after planet Earth? If the prior, why wasn't it named planet Dirt?

A: The naming of Earth came about as a result of some forward thinking by the members of the 'Naming All Things - Nice Names Committee' (as distinct from the 'Naming All Things - Derogatory Names Committee')... it was determined that if Earth had been named Dirt, or even Soil, it would have a deleterious effect on future naming of things... can you imagine? Dirt Mother, Dirt Apple, Dirt Sciences etc etc and 'Friends Of The Dirt' don't sound too good either

Q: Why was 'Buffalo Bill' Cody so named? There weren't no buffalo in the good ole U S of A! He should have been 'Bison Bill Cody', yes?

Q: Why was 'Buffalo Bill' Cody so named? There weren't no buffalo in the good ole U S of A! He should have been 'Bison Bill Cody', yes?

A: He should have been named Butcher Bill Cody. Both his occupation and his character were skin deep. His fame is infamy.

Q: The basis for the measurement 1 foot is a foot. So, what is the basis for the measurement 1 meter. Is it a part of the body I'm not aware of?

Q: coluber2001 - The basis for the measurement 1 foot is a foot. So, what is the basis for the measurement 1 meter. Is it a part of the body I'm not aware of?

A: You are correct to say that the basis for the length measurement of 1 foot (12 inches) is the length of the average male foot from heel to toe... the basis for the length measurement of 1 metre is the fact that the peoples of the Isle Of Man originally had three legs (see their flag) and therefore by adding the average length of their 3 feet, they came up with what they called something that is untranslatable into English... Meanwhile, the peoples of Sicily decided that their 3-legged person (see their flag) was a better proposition as a measurement guide and put forward the word 'triskeles (see the Latin tri meaning 'three' in there?) but the French decided that the word metre, along with a common spelling error by some, of meter, would be a better word... the root of metre can be found in the Greek verb μετρέω (metreo) (to measure, count or compare) and noun μέτρον (metron) (a measure)... those rumours you have heard about the Dant clan and their appendages are just that, rumours :

Q: Why does a clock 'tick', or 'tock'... why couldn't a clock squawk, or rattle, or ring instead?