Depression Sux

I'm glad that we were able to help you Tierayn ;-)

I have a lot of sympathy for what you are going through.
Hang in, and take care of yourself. Jason would want that, to see you do well. You will in time love other people, but he will always be part of your heart, part of you. Loving is not lost.

.. It's gonna take a while to get over him.. I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that he's gone, Every time i think about jason it hurts just as bad as it did when i found out he was gone..

I know Tierayn. It's something that will take lots of time to get through, but just know that it will get better in time.

I know. I know.

I just want to give you room to think of him in a continuing way that isn't all horrible, but saves your loving him and his loving you as part of your foundation in adulthood. Adulthood is long. His belief in and support of you will be there. He wouldn't want you to be in despair. And you need to want you not to be in despair. I'd say you need to get sturdy in yourself, but that sounds more judgmental than I mean. Most of us do.

Very well put ossobuco.

It ain't all bad, Tierayn - as long as the doctor "who deals with this ****" does some listening, and talking, as well as the anti-depressants. I am glad you are getting some help.

Of course you think about Jason - to live, and to love, is to be hurt, sometimes - this is life. Would you do without the caring, to avoid the hurt?

I know just what you mean about the waking up, and realizing the loss is real........no cure for that, but time, and new experiences.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tierayn)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I know.. Once I get over this first hurdle I think things'll start to pick up. . hopefully.

You WILL get though this Tierayn. It may sound so cliché, but time truly is a healer. I'm not saying the pain will go away entirely, but you will get to a point where it's easier to handle. And, eventually, there will be a time when you will be able to look back and think of all of the good things about him more than you think about the fact he is no longer physically in your life.

I know.. I just miss him so much... Things have really gone down hill since Jason died.. I've given up on a lot of stuff.. . I missed a lot of school.. Everything just seems so useless...

Gather your wits, girl. And we will listen.

I'm trying ..

It's still recent...it will take some time. Just take each day on its own, for now.

*hugs*

I've been taking things a day at a time.. it's slowly starting to sink in that he's gone. I've been trying to adjust to living without him here..

edit, thinking

Looks like I'll be back on medication by this time next week. This time I suspect it'll be permanent-if I want to live, which is by no means assured.

Wilso by all means get back on the meds. They have save my life. I have been on antidepressant of one sort or another since 1986.

Many times if have stopped them, there is quite a big deal in the states about being resourceful and coping on ones own with depression. And in many cases that is true.

But for me and many others we have a chemical imbalance that make the taking of anti depressants necessary to live a normal life. For me that means I have short periods of depression, days of sadness, but most of the time I get along.

Without the medicine I would sink into a state of non functioning and constant rumination.

My doc explained it to me this way - people take antibiotics without question when the have an infection, diabetics take there insulin, and people with epilepsy take anti seizure drugs without question.

So just do what you need to do for you and know that you are not alone in this predicament. Try to focus on you good points, kindness, loving, smart, and you are a real hottie (love and companionship are just around the corner) you have a future in front of you.

Beside we need you here at A2k!

P.S. Depression does suck

Good luck, Wilso.

Yes wilso, we do need you here, you are the reason i first posted here and though i have not posted in a while, doesn't mean i have stopped coming here. be lucky that you know what you need to do and have the guts to do it. Just keep thinking of your family and that thought should keep you here, no matter what.

Wilso,
Like you and Joan, I'm on 'happy pills' too, since the mid-90's. Joan could not have said it better in her last post! I echo her sentiments - and Wilso, know that we CAN relate and that we're here on A2K to talk to - as long as you don't substitute us for the people who are right there with you. (I can have a tendency to do that - had to find moderation in dealing with the real world and living in 'cyber-world'!) - dev
and YES, Depression sux!!