husband looking at porn

Montana-you talking about men or porn? or both?

I'm talking about men who feel the need to watch porn when they are in a relationship with "me"!

Some women don't mind if their men watch porn. Some even watch it themselves and I think that's great for them. In fact, I wish I were one of them, but I'm not and I absolutely cannot change the way I feel about it, so this leaves me and countless of other women out to dry since so many men can't seem to live without it.

Montana...
my partner watches porn not on a daily basis but every now and again and I dont give a rats ass if he does, I dont get into them because they do nothing for me..seen one, seen them all to me, but I'm not going to make a song and dance about it, geeez its not like he's going to watch it and come to bed and expect me to become double jointed all of a sudden lol
So I dont get what all the fuss is about?.....one must be very insecure, if they get themselves so wound up over nothing, and start to analyse their relationships, all because the poor fella wants to watch a porno!
Thats just being neurotic.

Kiwi
We are obviously 2 different people with two totally different opinions on this issue.
I'm not saying you're wrong to accept your husbands porn watching, but it doesn't mean that I'm wrong or "neurotic" simply because I don't share you views.
This also has nothing to do with being insecure, because I'm not!

Lets put it this way. I walked in on my ex watching porn a few times and it truly made me feel sick. Now, maybe this doesn't happen to you, but it does to me and many other women. I don't know about you, but I stay away from things that make me feel sick!

Nothing more I can possibly say that I haven't already said.

hmmmmmm, porn issues eh? sounds like you and your man need to drop some personal inhabitions, get some great comminication going and take some advice from kiwichick ....

Kia Ora Taniwha!

welcome to the forum!

What every woman should know.
Women should realize that they either need to accept that men need to look at women and get off or they need to start looking for a good divorce lawyer. Their husbands might love them enough to honestly stop looking, but the reprocusions of denying them their freedom, independance, and natural male desires will lead to resentment, frustration, and unreconsilable differences (i.e., divorce).

Women today should be thankful that all most men want to do is look at porn instead of the way things used to work in my father and grandfathers day where almost every man had a mistress or regularly visited prostitutes (i.e., deer camp).

Men can't understand why women can't figure out that getting off looking at a woman has nothing to do with love or how they feel about them. It's about getting off. If they wanted another woman they would simply go get one.

Your husband looking at porn means he probably has no intention of leaving or at least he didn't until you revealed your intention to make him miserable for the rest of his life just to satisfy your insecurities. Get over it or join in. If you really are still a good lover you have nothing to worry about; if you are bad then be thankful that is all he wants; and be very thankful that all those neglected women out there don't know that their is a man like that needing more attention.

Don't believe me? Well I'm counting the days until our child has left home and I am free of my responsibility and then finally I can free myself from this tyranny. Tick tock.

what to watch...
The most compelling thing in the world for me to look at are my girl's beautiful eyes...they're all I need.

shall celebrate to all good men who enjoy this topic :wink:

Clearly some issues in life need addressing,relationships definitly need very open communication with total loyalty to ones partner is a absolute must. If a partner in this persons case struggles in this realm.........
what are they looking for in the partner they have?? or what has changed to create the enviroment they dwell???
Have they tried to share their world?????
Jonasmods raises some very to the point issues that i have to say... I agree with ya dude :wink:
There is in this life the "one" who is out there. If i had stayed in my previous relationship any longer, my life would amount to the sum total of poos right now. In saying that, i didnt wait untill my children matured and then left. I made a choice to dismantle the tyranny at the ankles(as tree trunk as they were) and grew some balls, thus taking controll of my life and standing tall. We waste so much time "searching" to find ourselves in this life...... when really it is our actions that define and create the life we want!!! happiness and success are found in all aspects from that day foward. Jonas... I suggest you stop the bollocks and go forward.
Trust me, your children will always love you, the ex may not....SO WTF!!!

THATS FUNNIE LIKE THE THEATRICS.

husbands and porn watching
give your husbands a break! If you are insecure about your body, that is your problem. Stop blaming your husbands behavior on your looks. Your looks have nothing to do with him looking at porn. He obviously saw porn before you...so.....leave yourself out of it. Stop being so shocked just because now he is your husband. And no..... you shouldn't try to get answers out of him about his behavior. Leave him alone. Stop being a cry baby. All you can do is tell him how you feel about it....but dont dare try to do so while he is caught. And dont make the videos the subject. Make sure you tell him the truth. It is not about videos showing other girls... it is about you worried that he doesnt love you as much any more. But you can tell all about your feelings....that is no reason for him to all the sudden stop. Stop pointing fingers at him. The man needs to let off some semen. If you are pregnant ....it makes sex harder for him...maneuvering...etc... then he doesnt get any and needs to get the build up out somehow....or he will get a blue ball. Blue balls really hurt.

In summary. No, he will not stop. Your problem is not his behavior but your insecurity. Tell him you are insecure....the truth... dont try to bring in religion or any other excuse. And...just accept your body. Jealousy begins when you start to compare. So just dont. Always remind yourself that you have all you need. If you stop wanting things that are not vital to your existence...this little problem will stop.

P.S. the major one reason for couples with problems is lack of communication. never hold in feelings away from your husband. Never.

Oh, give me a break!

...Montana this is not about you, people are pointing out their
thoughts here which might give an appreciated insight to others...

...and you are still single in your 40's ????...hmmmmm

This is about people like me and it's people like you who are cutting down what we think. You make us feel like we're not normal because we don't think like you.

And by the way, I'm single by choice, believe me!

...people like you? whatever ... so you come onto a public forum and people like 'me' arent allowed to comment...get real lady
this is where the word 'Neurotic' comes in like I stated before...this is what this forum is about -open discussions....if you dont like what people like 'me' have to say ..fine..dont read it then, its that simple!

Ditto!

Husband looking at porn
Let me first start my saying that I has posted many pages back on how hurt I was myself on this issue. I had many of the same thoughts and feelings as the other women.

However I have been reading this forum and many others and I would like to say a big thank you!!


I have also discovered the real reasons behind why this upsets me so much..

1. MYSELF - I am very insecure
2. Boyfriend was in such a habit of doing this every morning he was NOT available for me.

We have talked about this issue openly, which works much better then my old way of freaking out and screaming. My boyfriend understands where I am coming from and he has explained his side. We are both going to work on these issues...

It still bugs me a bit, but it will take time like everything. I have even started viewing a little myself. Even though it is not really my thing the more I watch the more silly I feel for getting all crazy. I mean they are just airbrushed pictures/movies.. I am REAL.

Like some of the others said, it is just a means to the end. When I think about it - when I enjoy a little self satisfaction, after its all said and done I don't go around thinking about it the whole day. So why would I think he has these images on his mind all day and runs around comparing - HE DOESN'T!

We are with each other because we choose to be. A relationship is about sharing a life, not about making rules for each other...that's just plain silly.

Communication - Sharing - Compromising thats the name of the game in any relationship and I am so glad that I am not letting this issue ruin what is the greatest relationship ever!

Thanks Everyone!

While we don't agree 100% on this subject Montana, I am so right with you on this. These guys obviously don't have a clue.

Re: husbands and porn watching


Sorry to burst your bubble but there isn't such a thing.