husband looking at porn

My guess is that he is in to young girls. I would watch your daughter around him if I were in your position.

Porn for most men is a fantasy which we only dream about. That doesn't mean that if we ever got the chance we would all leave our wives for a porn star. For most men, IMO, porn is nothing more than an easy way to relieve a little bit of sexual tension.

But what worries me about this situation your daughter is involved. I don't think looking at young girls is very normal.

It may not be that serious... he might just like looking at younger girls and could be entirely innocent. At the very least I would keep my eyes wide open for any other signs of something that might be happening. If I were in your situation I would hate to trust him and then find out later that I was wrong.

I read this thread about mont or so ago, and thought that it was not a big deal. But some time ago, folding my BF's cloth, I found a Porn DVD in his drawer. God u cannot imagine how it hurt me. I tried to be calm, and to make some conclusions based on the info from the DVD. Well, it says "Hot latina Get's f**d into her "s" ". So I was like, does that mean that he is into Latina Girls?! Does that mean he likes Anal sex but we do not have one? I did not say anything, though I was very said. The only thing that he can hide that crappy DVD from me, and watch those females on it-Made me veeeeerrrrrry sad+angry. When he came in the evening, I just said that I did his laundry and folded every thing and ORGANIZED HIS DRAWER like he likes. He was like" Why r you so sad, sweetie", and then I told him what happened and how I am feeling about it, though I am trying not to make a big deal out of it. He said "haha, do not be angry, I love you. A latino guy offered me on the street and I even do not know Why I said Yes and bought it"
Well, he took it, broke it and put it into the trash, saying no porn in our house. I love him, but he said that if he'd found DVD like that in my stuff, he would've been more sad Than I was. soooo, I am so happpppyyyy

Hello. Recently i had this problem with my husband. I have not even been married for a month and i felt like i made the worse choice for a spouse. I couldn't talk to him or look at him for a couple days. I feel my issue is because i was raped as a child i can see a guy looking at porn is a form of exploiting a woman. even though they chose to be filmed, the problem is what is going on in the guys head. Why was i molested? Because a guy could not control his thoughts. Somewhere in the bible it says "A man who fails to control himself is like a city whose walls have been broken." Anyway you put it, a man is lusting for another woman. My Husband wanted to give me the excuse that it was a celebrity and he doesn't do it everyday. Whether its a celebrity, a child or an old woman... you are looking at something inappropriate.

Besides of course my husband I have a hard time seeing another man's penis. I love my husband and i love his body, i expect him to treasure that. Body parts and Sex are private and only to be shared with someone you love. Until someone takes advantage of you, you wont understand what it feels to be in the situation. Bruised for life. I have forgiven my molester only because he changed and because he is my brother. We are not animals. We have choices and control over ourselves. Porn is for the perverted and desperate.

I totally understand where you are coming from. When I first started dating my fiance he told me he was not at all into porn and I would never find anything like that in his house. Which was true I never "found" anything in his house. It was not until recently (we are now living together and been together for almost 3 years) that I was finding things. I first found out with the cable bill. He was ordering porn at night after I went to bed. He denied it, of course but I had the bill so he eventually had to fess up. Later it was the computer. He also denied that as well. I showed him the history and he came up with stupid excuses like it was business ideas, ect. eventually fessed up, promised never to do it again. I know when he does because he erases the history on the computer. Any way, I know how badly it hurts. I have always been dead set against porn. Maybe it's for my own self image issues but whatever it is, I HATE it. I'm not even sure what makes me madder, the fact he looks at it or the fact he hides it. I think this is something you need to think about as well. It doesn't make it "better" but maybe will help you with the hurt. The fact that he looks at it so much and it is affecting your sex life seems to be a "red flag" maybe the issue is deeper than porn, for him. Try new things that might excite him and remind him why he married you, and that you are sexy and hot. It might entice him to come back to the bedroom for the real stuff. It will probably take a lot of time for the hurt to go away, if at all, but above all, marriage is very important and that should never be looked upon lightly. For the record I was married before. I think that of all the things in marriage the larger picture needs to be looked at, that is you love eachother and hopefully will be together forever. I know your hurt is not going away soon, as mine is not gone either, but take some comfort in knowing that you are not the only woman who feels this way about porn, as confusing the feelings are, they are shared.

Take care from a friend in Canada

WHAT??????????
Damn, Ur bro should be hang via is balls

Husband and porn


To me, it makes no difference. If he is having an affair in person with another woman, or having an affair of the mind with other women, it still hurts the same.
At least if he was having an affair with another woman in person, at least I can understand if love is involved. It would make sense to me. But to have and affair of the mind, and have sexual experiences with the aid of other women, instead of a willing real woman, that I do not understand.
I heard this from a man (a friend)whos best friend is addicted to porn big time. He cannot keep a woman for the life of him! My friend was telling another male friend about his buddy, saying, yep, when a guy gets addicted to porn, the real deal just does not cut it anymore! Yep..He will never be satistfied with a real woman no matter how lonely he gets. And he whine about all the time about not having a woman to love and is always lonely. My friend said he puts it before the women in his life.
He is a sad man indeed but he will not admit he has a problem.

I think there must be some kind of gender based difference in the attitude towards this kind of thing. Personally, I consider your husbands'/boyfriends' use of porn to be of little or no significance. Any normal man will fantasize about other women frequently, no matter how much he loves his partner. It's in the genes. You're lucky that you have spouses who only fantasize, but are actually faithful.

When my Man looks at other chick, or watches porn, I feel like something missing in me, and he is trying to find it in other women:sexuality? hotness? body shape? eye color? It does not make difference, does not matter what do people, scientist say about that-IT HURTS. It is a stone into any woman's selfesteem. If he is so much into fantasy, why would not he watch my naked pictures instead?

No, a guy does not have to fantasize about other women when he is with one. Thats wrong. Giving into impulses that make you want to watch and look for porn is what makes someone weak. I think one who watches porn is weak. Personally if i look at another guy and think he is good looking i am not thinking about his penis. Even if someone looks good, the inside is what attracts me. I think a woman who "struts her stuff" should keep in mind that most men are molesting her in their minds (If I'm wrong about that then why do we do it? and why does porn exist?) If they don't have a problem with that, then there are some other issues present too. Is there a difference with watching someone sexy walking in front of you on the street than someone looking sexy for the camera... except that one is expected to take off her clothes?
I had a friend in high school who had the "big Ol booty"... She made sure everyone knew it and was seen as a slut. I was at a private school at the time and guys who i consider decent, wouldn't pay attention to her.
Not saying that it is just as bad but why do most guys masturbate and everyone knows that "all guys do it"? Just like Porn... don't "all guys do it"? Does it HAVE TO be stereotyped that way? Why are men in general hornier than women? Are they weaker? I would love to say as a woman myself that they are, but in reality, i need to trust men... like my husband.

id like to say something that not everyone will agree with.im new to this forum but ive posted on many others about this topic.i have the same situation and i believe it is wrong! when you get married it is a religious event ! true ? yes! therefore when you get married and say" i do" you have to look after and cherish your wife /husband etc .im not a religious person but i came across a saying that i believe is true!

the bible states that any man or woman thats looks upon another man or woman lustfully has already cheated in his heart and in his mind.i believe that is true.fair enough you can walk down the street and notice someone is pretty but going looking for porn and watching it is looking at someone lustfully.


im not religious but i believe this saying to be true .does anyone agree?

Not all women.

Bella, I said woman, not female. This is a huge difference for me... :wink:

Hell Yah Toni... My husband didn't think it was cheating but at a certain extent, Yah it is. Because if you think about raping a child... your just as nasty if you go through with it. If you think about cheating, your mind is wondering for what reason? I completly agree.

But a lot of religious beliefs are true...

exactly good point.if your called sick for thinking about a child or something.why isnt it bad to think about someone else in your relationship.in a lustful sort of way and i think looking at porn is looking at them lustfully therefore it is wrong.theres loads of things in the bible which say doing this is wrong.i hate it when men say if they didnt look at porn it might lead them to cheat.thats crap if you trully loved someone you wouldnt cheat.and if you marry someone thinking that you can still look at other people then why get married if you think you couldnt go without it!why is it wrong to ask your partner to stop looking?

Porn What is it?
Yes, I agree with everyone. I will have sex everyday-- all day. Except, my husband will be doing the deed on the internet Edit [Moderator]: Do not post porn websites -- the girls he is looking at have pig tails and bedrooms and look 16...so now everytime we go anywhere, I am wondering is he looking at the 18 year olds or what? I guess maybe the fantasy of the virgin? Anyway, I am 110, redhead, people tell me I look great and I offer anything in the bedroom--anytime I'm very affectionate... Please SOME GUY explain this part of it to me?????? I found out the last time he did it, I had just left...I would have gladly done it--LIVE! He makes excuses to not have sex, like if we are fighting...he says it's not worth it...and tells me to go watch porn! HUH????? Ever heard of make up sex...wild night of make up sex...what are MEN coming to or rather not coming to... Come on guys, give me some advice.

Re: Porn What is it?

If your husband is actually looking at porn with minors or rape, you have a problem. But if it is porn with concensual sex between adults, that's quite a different matter.

You ask for advice, but do you want it? You need to accept the fact that men and women are apparently different in this area. Most men want to have sex with every woman they find attractive. From what I gather your husband is actually faithful and we are talking about his fantasies.

Even your favorite meal gets a little boring if you have it and only it day after day, week after week. If all your husband does is a little harmless fantasy, but in reality he is faithful, lighten up and don't make a federal case over it. Nothing I have seen in this thread suggests that this advice will be taken.

Thanks Brandon. I'm new to this forum stuff, so thanks for the advice.

NOt wrong to ask them...but wrong to demand them. If that is who they were before the marriage, that is who they have a right to be after the marriage.

Its definately not a 'Gender' issue, because I myself, find it of little or no significance what so ever as well....

Men will fantasise about women regardless wether they are watching porn or not....but we can debate this issue until we are blue in the face
I have never read such feeble excuses as to why some women here object with such a passion as to their men watching porn.. as in being 'cheated' on (love that one) or why cant he look at me like that?.......I have to say none of those seem to be rationable or reasonable excuses to me......its just ones own neurotic insecurities and thats that.
At least Montana in the end had the guts to say she felt physicaly sick by seeing it....
and the ones whose husbands watch kiddie porn...well that should have had its own thread and that I do not agree about...

You're very welcome.