husband looking at porn

Sorry, I have no idea how I did that!

There was an A2K glitch just about the time you posted it. No biggie.

DITTO!

Double Ditto! It's very nice seeing you Morganwood :-D


CJ
You're a brat

If you become unfaithful it would be because of your lack of self control, not your fantasies. Everyone fantisizes (in different ways) about someone other than their partner. It's perfectly normal. It's when you leave your fantasy and make it a reality that you run into trouble.

I certainly wouldn't blame anyone or anything else but myself if I was unfaithful.

Thanks, good to be back!

reading stuff like this, as well as infidelity, divorce etc (sorry, I don't intend to make anyone depressed here) makes me so glad that I am too young (mentally, not legally) to get married and that I am still single!!

Morganwood, I admire you - very straightforward and loving to your wife. that's an understatement - devoted, actually. You're the kind of man a woman would like to be with.

I'll second that, Pragmatic :-D

Husbands looking at porn
My husband and I got married November 2004. I had caught my husband twice looking at porn on the computer before we were married after he already knew how much I despised it. Both times he swore up and down he would stop. Well, I caught him again last night. He thought he was being smart by deleting it in the computer History. But innocently I was typing in www.fridays.com and the drop down showed a heck of a lot more than that. I was FURIOUS. I think we all are entitled to have the partner we desire. I desire a man who doesn't feel the need to view that stuff. I told him I would leave him if I caught him again. Well, we are married now with child, and I caught him. A little more difficult to leave now. If he told me 6 months ago that he wouldn't/couldn't give it up, I could have made a decision based on that. Now there is so much more to consider. He saus it is because he gets bored. Well, with a newborn in the house there is SO much more I could use help with to occupy his time. Bottles need to be made, wash needs to be done, house needs to be kept clean, and baby needs attention. If he has all of this time to look at porn, all the more reason for me to be upset. I am so glad that he likes the clean towel and boxers that I am washing while he has the time to look at porn. Not to mention that now I am overweight with a small chest and stretch marks to boot. It makes me feel real good when he looks at those other women who have none of the above. Oh, now I can't wat to get naked with him! Dows anyone feel me???????

Here's a thought: Disconnect the computer and put it in the trash. Problem solved.

husband looking at porn
trust me...it took all of me not to demolish the computer!!! BUT it is also my connection to most of my fam. I am looking into password blockin any sights that disghust me. we shall see.....

I don't think password protecting anything is going to help matters, but make it worse. And it would give him valid leverage in your disputes. You should not have to treat him like a child.You really need to try to get him to understand where you are coming from, and how it makes you feel. If he wont stop his behavior, you are going to have to make desisions for yourself on what to do about it. you can't decide for him. Porn is an addiction, and like with most addictions, the person has to decide to quit on their own, and it usually doesn't happen unless they have faced some sort of consequences to their actions, that has affected them personally.
I am 8 months pregnant, my partner works third shift. We had recently gotten into it over the porn issue. He had came home, and i was sleeping. I had some real bad heartburn, and shot straight up in bed. i scared the life outta him lol. I have never seen someone move so fast to close windows. Anyhoo, i was suspicious of his behavior and checked the history. He was checking out porn. I felt so disrespected, and yes i dont have the highest self esteem right now. i'm as big as a house lol. well, i let him sleep, before i approached him on the issue. When i did try to talk about it, he flat out ignored me. So, i gave him the silent treatment for the next 3 days. I figured if i wasn't worth talking to, then he wasn't either. Then finnally he got fed up, we argued. He tried to throw in my face the spying issue...him being a man, even said to me he would find someone that respected him, and would let him be a man. I said fine....i left...i went to my mothers. I didn't try to contact him. But, then a few days later, after he had time to consider the consequences, and the fact that i was serious about how i felt. he came around. He even told his mother what had happened, and she had responded, oh god troy, women find that so disgusting! lol. Anyhoo, sometimes you have to put your foot down. But do what you think is best for you, you can never make your man do anything, it all boils down to his choice.

Password protecting did seem like a huge hassle. I shouldnt have to. I didn't catch him because I didn't trust him. I just happened to stumble over it. And that was the worst part. I was so confident that he meant it when he said he wouldn't look at that stuff anymore, and just ended up being let down. It is just nice to know that someone had pretty much the same situation as me. I really have nowhere to go. Mom is dead and Dad in Pittsburgh. BUT Im quite capable of the silent treatment. I flat just cannot turn my head and ignore it. I shouldn't have to. He knew where I stood on the issue pretty much from the door. ay yay yay! I will keep you posted on my outcome! Thanks!

shmookiedoo,
I have to reply to your question, First of all i am a 25 y/o female and engaged. I can understand your feelings of distrust and hurt about this subject. But i am on the other side of this fence i feel that Porn weather it be on line, mags ,video's etc.. is perfectly accepctable for Men and Women to view and Enjoy either together or seperately.
Im Just so shocked that noone has reality checked you yet. i mean come on i understand that you dont like porn but to ask him to stop because you are uncomfortable with it and find it offensive to me is a little too much hey youre a big girl and you knew he liked porn in the begining. I also understand that you are adventureous in the bedroom but sometimes an old fasioned guy cant picture his wife doing certain acts, maybe he likes a lil B&D or S&M and he cant do those kind of things to you for it would cast you in a different light to him or even worse he may think that a different fettish of sex no matter what it may be or what he may like you may find repulseive and think that hes disgusting (esp. if hes old school) now imagine what hes thinking. So i say Hey if he wants to rub one out. Let him rub one out, just tell him to wash down the shower curtain after hes through lol Remember you can rub one out too !!

Ps. try a lil toothpaste on ur bud mmm mity cool

I am a guy who browses porn. It IS addictive. I try to keep it a secret, and I am successful most of the time.

I don't know why I like porn. I just do. This has nothing to do with me not loving my girl or anything. My porn addiction was here before my love for her and it still remains. It is a part of my lifestyle.

The thing is, I perceive my porn addiction as a part of who I am. It is about me, and not my partner. It is MY thing. If she feels bad about it and asks me not do browse porn ever again, I'd have to say "OK", but continue to do it secretly. That is only because I wouldn't want to hurt her. I can not ask her to "understand" my situation, because she can't. However, I can understand hers and empathise. What I can not do is just get porn out of my system. That is an impossible thing that you are asking of your partner. Even if he gives up browsing porn, the addiction and past porn browsing experience will be still there to haunt him every time he gets bored and wants to masturbate. Oh, by the way that is exactly what porn is - a masturbating tool - for men, nothing else. Of course, I do not expect you to understand.

If the porn addiciton of your partner troubles you so much, I'd advise you to break up and find another partner, who either doesn't browse porn, or hides his surfing sessions well

You won't be able to change your man's mind about this matter.

Missgreeneyes
That's may be easy for you to say and telling others to accept something that totally goes against their grain is absurd. Telling her to accept it is like telling her to put up with him cheating, because to those of us who feel this way about it, that's exactly what it is.
I'm glad that you enjoy it and wish I felt the way you do about it, but I don't and that will never change.
You have the right to live the way you want, but not to tell others we should as well!
We are not all designed the same and whatever floats your boat may sink mine!
This is not a feeling in ourselves that we can change.
We are not here telling you that you shouldn't put up with it and it's completelty unreasonable to tell us that we should.

I didn't know that he was a porn kind of guy for a while afer I met him. I know there are men out there who could really care less about it. I thought he was one of them. I just can't believe him when he tells me that he loves my body and then none of the sites are girls with stretchmarks.com or smallchestsarehot.com. I will never be able to accept it. I wish I could, but I can't. Like I said before, if I knew that he had such a problem before, I would have made my decision to leave when things weren't so thick, but now it is more difficult. We are married and have a 6 week old little girl. It is a little harder to pick up and leave. If he has no problem looking at girls that way, I want to pose the question to him, would he want his daughter to be looked at like that? Or then I wonder why he refused to let me be stripper (2 years ago when I had the opportunity and the body)? I do feel like it is a form of cheating. Especially if he had to lie about it. I pretty much feel that if that is what satisfies him, then we can just have a functioning non sexual marraige and then he can fill that space with his porn. I don't know, but I do know that I cannot put up with it. If that trife material is what he likes and it is more important then having me around, a decision is pretty much made. And if we are looking at it as an addiction. I had my own addiction. I was a cocaine addict. At first he just asked that I not do it around him. Eventually he put his foot down and said that he absolutely did not like it and wanted me to stop. Guess what CHEMICAL addiction I gave up? Why? Because he was more important to me. Do I miss it? Yes sometimes. Can I get it? Yup, whenever I want. Do I? Nope. So what is the difference?

I also want to say that I love him more than he will ever know. I can't imagine life without him, but I can't live my life with him like this. I do feel like that area of our life is tarnished as well. I know or sex life has been in a ditch lately and for very legitimate reasons. Reasons that he is slightly responsible for. And at 7 8 or 9 months prego, it wasn't the first thing on my mind. I thought that when one part of a marriage takes a little (temporary) fall, that was when your love for one another kicked into overdrive? Maybe that sound a lillte to much like being a hopeless romantic, but I know that it is supposed to work that way, and I know that it does. And now that our lives are finally getting back to a new norm and I was so excited to run to the bedroom again, I find this out and I don't want him to touch me because of the images that I find disrespectful, and the feeling of being betrayed (yes I use that word) won't go away. They say it takes seconds to open up a wound and years to close one. I cant just get over this.................

She's been reality checked a ton of times...by many people.