My sisters in a pickle and not sure what to do?

Make no mistake, this is a powder keg, please check with the women's shelters and check with the YWCA. I have experienced abuse from my first husband and I know it can creep up on you. I didn't grow up in an abusive house hold, but abusers are very manipulative and quickly find out your vulnerabilities and then exploit them. I sincerely hope your sister is taking every precaution to protect herself. The idea of a protective order is wise, but many women have been killed by abusers who has a protective order against them. Please don't allow her to assume she is safe........she needs to be watchful and alert the police or any other organization that can help her. My horror story happened many years ago and I back then I found the police to be of very little help. They only cared about me actually having a bullet in my body rather than my ex-husband holding an automatic weapon to my head. But I was much younger then, and I felt hopeless when the officers told me that unless I actually had bodily harm, there was nothing to report. I can only hope that the police have begun to treat these matters as important.
Just tonight I was talking to my ex-sister-in-law who is trying to escape a terrible situation. I gave her all the advice I could about protecting herself and her son, and I just pray that this turns out well for her.

Ha! ehBeth.....I knew I'd get around to it sooner or later, her life is like reading a cheap trashy novel. One day I am going to get around and write it out. Hell, Dallas, DOOL's, any soap wouldn't believe some of this stuff!




Yep! Were not going home to Arkansas! I'm planning a trip to either the Smoky mountains a few weeks after Christmas, or to Florida's treasure coast to play in the sand. Were not sure which one yet....but we are staying here for our very own festivities this year.



CJ, your right also. She's not going to change, ever.

I am concerned about the baby, but its not against the law to be mentally unstable. MOF, with his two stints in two different mental hospitals all he basically received was a green light to do his terroristic bidding, because he was labled as crazy. Crazy don't go to the pen, they get off for being mentally unstable.

X has been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder, it was drug induced from his teenage years of doing acid. He's been in and out of jail numerous times, but one family member continues to bail him out. (Grandmother) She gets these guilt trips over her grandson and then tosses all precautions to the wind and takes care of the messes he's made in life. She's even paying his child support from his first marriage because he won't, can't...or doesn't care too.

From where I stand, Grandmother has created this monster. The sad part is, she is scared to death of him. He's kicked in their front door, punched an uncle in the face, stole his brothers car and totalled it here recently, slung my sister by the neck across the living room with his grandparents watching in horror, broke into his mothers home and shot her boyfriends dog in the head, and all just because he felt like it! This has been in the past 4 months. They run and press charges on him, put restraining orders on him, he's arrested....then Granny bails him out.

They are so terrorized by him its unreal, it unreal that people have to live in fear of a family member hurting them. They have to lock doors, keep things hide......every gun the family owns is under lock down at all times...because of him.

X has even laid out in the grass hiding/spying on my sister while she was in their house alone. He'd turn his shirts inside out (if they had a logo on them) and do his time in the grass watching her all day. He'd show up from work early, then beat on the door. My sister said she'd open the door and the fight was on because he'd start accusing her of fooling around. Why didn't she look through the peep hole? Why didn't she answer the phone on the first ring? Why is she out of breathe? He even accused her of having men in the apartment with her if he smelled BLEACH?? (not kidding) He figured she was cleaning up the mess....

He'd even get paranoid over electronics. He thought people could hear conversation through the T.V, and other things...so he'd go around and unplug anything he could get his hands on. Just crazy crap....

So, yes...I'm worried about the baby in more ways than one. But calling DHS isn't going to help. They'll show up, see the baby is taken care of at Granny's and dismiss it.

This baby doesn't have a chance, one parent is emotionally disturbed, and the other is mentally off. What are her chances at having an emotionally stable life? Slim to none......and I HATE IT! And there'd be a snow balls chance in hell of her giving her to me, more or less any other family member.

(I want to show ya'll a picture of her sooooo bad, but I'm afraid to post it. I took some wonderful pics of her while she was here)

Thats why she come here, she wanted to get far away....




She's not, she'd done found a reason to justify going back to him. She left to head back exactly one week before Thanksgiving day....and haven't heard a word from her since.

I did call a Uncle down there, he called me back and told me she was there at the Granny's.........



We went straight to the local county Sheriff's dept, and talked to them. We started to get one, but they aren't worth the paper they are written on. We tried to press charges on him because of the threatening messages, nothing.

They don't extradite on misdemeanor charges, so he'd have to come here before they'd pick him up. What was the use?

Here I stood with 25 pages printed off from my computer listing each phone he'd made in the past 3 days (at the time) I showed the officer that he hadn't slept in days...(the time called, show this was apparent) Had the 31 phone calls to my phone highlighted in bright yellow, and had my phone ready to go with the messages he had left. Explained to this officer that I wasn't going to play with this fool, I wanted something done. Explained to this officer that he was dangerous, a Schizo, and was prone to drug use. The officer showed no interest.

Then....you have the abusive women syndrome to encounter with the deputy's. They don't tend to have the time to deal with abused women, WHY? Because 9 out of 10 press charges, to turn around and drop them...and then turn around and go home. So, they blow them off.......as sad as it is. But its true also....

I can say this....the Law did put in alot of effort patrolling my home, every night for weeks the deputy's made trips to my house, spot lighted the house/yard and would sit there for a lil while before they left, and would do that on and off all night. Which I appreciated very much!

Then I got to pushing buttons in my own county back at home. I got blowed off, I was told that it didn't matter where those phone calls were made too, that it wouldn't matter if I was in Florida, that is where I would have to press charges.

We took a trip back home and just so happen X called my phone and left messages, We went to the Shef. Office immediately. He started to blow me off in my own county AGAIN... I put a halt to that real quick quoting the other officer I talked too that explained to me where I had to press charges at. When I stated that, he looked so funny. Than I took him by his arm, handed him my phone and said here ya go...listen! He changed his attitude then, but again...No help.

Then...a few nights later, X called again while we were still in Arkansas. (I waited up on him because he was calling at 3 a.m, 4 a.m, not when someone might answer it) Immediately I called the law. They showed up, we pressed charges and I have him on digital recorder with his bad self explaining to me how he'd take me OUT! They are still pending of course........i.e, they won't do a thing about it, like one officer told me, "We have over 2000 warrants right now waiting to be served, but we don't have the bed space." Soooooooooooo, I pushed every angle I could. We called the Army Sgt.s that were dealing with him, the P.A, the S.O in his neck of the woods..and I got the same story at each one of them.....

No help........none. I was ready to pull my hair out, beat the **** out of my sister for being a dumbass, and go looking for X myself. I was just daring that fool to drive up in the driveway looking for her.

HA! I even told him on the phone, "%$$##, your fooling with the wrong sister this time!" Amid a few other unpleasantries...lol If I'd got my hands on him, I'd hurt him.......

It was CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she WENT BACK!!!! For what???




I am glad that you were able to get out. And I hope your sister in law's issues get resolved.

Ok...so there's a good jist of the story...

So, yeah...I'm very worried about the baby. But I can't let myself sit here and wreck havoc on my nerves anymore than they have already been.

I do know that the Uncle I spoke told me, that he'd see to it that she was taken care of. (baby) I feel I can trust him, he's a nice man....just in a crazy family as well.

If I thought calling DHS would take care of this, I would have already done so...but they work kinda like the Sheriffs offices do down there. One visit, poof...they disapear.

My BIL treats my SIL this way. He's a douchebag. As far as I know he's never physically hurt her but he's about 6'4" tall, huge, intimidating wanna be cop kinda guy. Extremely manipulative. Hates her side of the family and will do anything to fu-k with them.

And you guys wonder why I pack heat.

Ha! I would never questioned ya bout that! LOL

I tote a baseball bat w/me.....its slid right up in between my console and the drivers seat. I've been wanting to take a concealed handgun class so I can legally tote, that way I won't be hassled over it.

I've come across some pretty undesirable folks in my lifetime, and I wouldn't trust most of them with my dog...so I damn sure don't trust them where my safety is an issue.

Sis's Mr. X, is one of these...he's one that would sneak up on ya before ya knew it if you weren't watching....

My former husband kept guns and automatic weapons and I was too dumb back then to know they needed to be registered..but perhaps that's good in hindsight because if I told the police about the guns that belonged to him, I would have been the only at Police Central trying to explain why they were in the house. I think the police have a tough job, but sadly some of them try to make the time pass as uneventfully as possible.

I've been collecting quotes from police in our county regarding the complex explanations when asked for assistance. I never realized it was possible to come up with so many ways to say, "don't bother me now, I'm having a coffee break". Maybe I can draft an article, it's starting to congeal.

I always thought it would be wonderful to have a bunch of forms in your purse or pocket the next time you need a policeman and as soon as you start getting the run-around you could present them with a form that you insist be filled out and have them explain in triplicate the specific catch 22 they are trying to present to you. Just smile and say you need it for the insurance report or something else that sounds slightly compelling.

(humm, posted to this about an hour ago, it seems to have disapeared off into never-never land...lol)





I agree...lol, it would almost be downright funny to drag a form out of your purse and present it to an officer....

"Press hard Son, your makin' three copies!"

There is no gun registry for long guns, only for handguns. Only in states that deny your 2A rights is there any of the former. We (the NRA) have been fighting this crap for years. Where I live, only a background check is required to purchase a long gun. No waiting period.

His 25 caliber was a handgun but the M-16 was stolen while he was in the reserves.

Yep, thats the way it is here in Alabama, and Arkansas.

I bought three guns a little over a month ago, a Remington Bolt-action 22-250, and two 50. cal. muzzleloaders (both inline).

Now here's the deal, on the 22-250 they did their usual background check which I can fill out blindfolded now (I don't even read it anymore, just check, check, check...and poof 10 minutes later I'm out the door), and they sold me the ammo,...BUT I was walked to the door to keep ammo and gun seperate.

On the muzzleloaders, there is no background check......purchase made, poof...done.

Some stores here actually ask you for your DL to buy ammo. I won't give it to them - either they sell it to me without it or I go elsewhere.

When I bought my son's shotgun Gander Mountain walked me out to my car with it as well. Kinda strange, but it's just procedure, and not an unnecessarily invasive one.

Why do they want to see your license? Is there a minumum age requirement to buy ammo or are they trying to make sure you aren't the D.C. Sniper?

I wouldn't give it to them either, not to buy ammo.





I've been walked out too, but the funny thing about these procedures is they've walked me to the front door, handed me the gun and the ammo and told me to have a "Good Day"...lol



But as bad as I hate to admit it, (its to my advantage though) there is also a "double standard" in play when women go and buy guns and ammo. Most salesmen don't put much stock into it, they do what they can to get it overwith and us out the door. Most think we are buying gifts for the husband, father..etc, and don't realize that some of us might being buying a rifle for our own usage.



Its an age thing, in Arkansas....they don't ask for your DL, but they want to know if your over the age of 18 for the purchase, its the same thing they do when you buy Adult rated movies....