My sisters in a pickle and not sure what to do?

It only goes to show "What goes around, comes around", heehee ;-)

Don't feel the least bit bad MMS. Atleast you know that he can't hurt your sister from jail.

mms--

Your sister plays a wild game of musical chairs. Lover Boy Meth Man is sitting in jail. Christmas she and the kids trump her Ex at his parents house! Concerned family is running round and round in circles.

Great talent here. Blue ribbon practically guaranteed.

Yea...I think they need to pin a rose on her nose.

Ya'll, I SERIOUSLY NEED A DRINK!

OMG...SHE MARRIED HIM! I am just beside myself right now!

Why? What in the hell is she thinking...?

Oh, NO! What happens to the kid(s)?

Take a drink, MMS. I'll take one with you.

My only conclusion...she's thinking, as my mother used to say, with her crotch.

She was afraid such a prize would escape--and be snapped up by some other woman, leaving her without a man.

If I weren't seriously dieting, I'd drink to the disaster.

Did she wear white for the wedding? White as in innocent/naive/stupid?

I'm having a cocoa and brandy in her honour.

Good grief.

What a disaster.

Now then, the kids.

Or, worse, the next kids.

Sigh.

Ohh...yea..its get much better.

First off, I haven't made a point to talk to her. I have not called her, or seen her. I have let her do the calling. She tells off on herself when she does, I sit and listen, and say nothing. Which I know is driving her nutts. And thats why I am doing it.

So...rumour spread that she was married, wearing a huge rock on her finger. Ahh uhh humm..sure its real...yea right. She's called, I've said nothing.

Finally, tonight....in the midst of her moving out of the house she was in, which is another story in itself. (A friend of our cousin's moved out of his house to let her have a place to live, HIS HOUSE...Moved completely out of it and found another house to buy so SHE and those kids could have a place to stay, not to count on short notice. But its his fault that she's moving out of it...yaaaa uhh humm)She's kept me informed of her situation to some extent. Tonight, I asked...just where did you move to? Her reply was ...outside of town. Humm, I made no comment. Finally, I told her, "Rumor has it, that your married?" Her reply was..."Yea, I did it last week, I like it that way...no one knows my business." Hummmmmm........ok, Thats fine.

Now...she tells me that she is planning on moving to Mississippi come Summer.

WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS??? Her head is so buried up her ass that her neck oughta be hurting by now! I'm just furious!!!!! THE IDIOT!!!

1. SHE brought US into HER business, WE did not ask.

2. SHE has now blamed everything on US. Of course its our fault..we cared about poor lil S...and thought she needed our help..thought she was going to be a victim here. We run like we always did...and bam, its throwed back in our faces.

3. The lies that girl has told that are coming out are insane. Which totally makes me fighting mad. She has told my whole family...that I'm basically unfit as a parent. That my children eat nothing but cereal and run around naked in the yard. I don't go to parents-teachers conferences, my kids ar failing school, that I'm just an out and out whore. OK...I'm not around my family that much...so they don't see what my life is like. And based on the fact that WE didn't..or they didn't know she was that way..until we saw her true colors) How do you defend yourself on something such as that? They have just come to realize in the past few weeks since this episode with her that she has lead everyone to believe that I was actually that way. Which hurts to think that my family would even think that about me to begin with, but didn't question it? OMG........I want to shake her till her brains rattle.

4. HER KIDS? Those poor kids...her court date keeps getting postponed, which we think she's doing the postponing of it...to keep her ass out of trouble. Thats why she run and got married. He's a convicted felon living in the house with her and those two kids....not a good thing.

5. HER KIDS..........OMG Whats this going to be, Daddy #3 for them. That SOB doesn't even pay child support for his own child, and SHE expects him to take care of HER? On what? Drug money....? The kids? Take care of them, that bastard can't even take care of himself...nor her...and they are going to take those kids off to MI? GREAT!

I'm pissed and this probably isn't making any sense, I washed my hands of her. But it still doesn't keep me from getting upset over it.

I swear, makemeshiver, if you don't write all this down and turn it into a book, I will come over there and throttle you myself.

This is great novel material.

It could be a bestseller.




(I'm serious. I'm waiting for the next chapter with bated breath.)

Oh, Shiver girl....my heart is breaking for you, your family and those kids.
My god, this is no novel....this is a living nightmare.. In my experience, I have seen on many occassions that when children come from an abusive background, there is always one at least who is hellbent on self destruction. Shiver...I never in all of my posts here ever would have believed that a horror story like this could be coming from you and I feel very deeply for what you and your family are going through.

The only piece of advice I can offer up right now is to contact Child Protective Services and make them aware of her intentions to leave the state with a known drug abusing, drug dealing felon. Let them know the whole story about the ex mother in law, the ex husband and this new Methman.. You may not be able to save your sister from herself but you may be able to help protect those kids. Is any of your family in a position to take the kids if it came to that?

Please know that my heart is with you all.....

My heart is with you to MMS. (((HUGS)))

I didn't mean to be heartless, makemeshiver. I hope you know me better than that. I agree with Lady J...contact the authorities. Perhaps they can intervene on behalf of the kids.

THEN write all this down.

Not only will it be cathartic for you, but it's a hell of a story. Others could learn from it.

I imagine that by summer, she'll be divorced & DH will be in jail.



Let's choke her together!

Can you say, "Projection?" Clearly she's blaming you for her very own faults.

Honestly I would call Child Protection about the kids. And I believe you're doing your best for her by NOT talking to her....she is determined to make these mistakes, and she has a right to, but she doesn't have the right to drag her kids down with her.

I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if Mr. Meth becomes violent with her, and she shows up at your door one night all beaten to heck. What to do then? Just call the police.

She reminds me so much of my own sister, who was perhaps even worse....prostitute, drug addict, alcoholic, constantly beaten up by boyfriends. I so vividly remember her showing up at my door one night, 250 miles from the town where she lived, holding a paper McDonald's cup full of Vodka. She quit drinking then (as she often did) and dried out in my house....I remember her screaming that the Mafia was in the house and trying to kill her. Her only virtue was forced on her by our father....she was unable to get pregnant.

I spent years trying to help her, and finally gave up. I'd talk to her if she called, but would only keep repeating the same things over & over....Get some help, quit drinking, get into therapy...until she gave up calling me. I never told her what she wanted to hear. Maybe your sis will give up too, if all you ever have to say is, Get therapy, straighten up, etc.

I'll be VERY Surprised if sis is not into drugs/alcohol Big Time.

My heart goes out to you, MMS. I think you're handling this very difficult situation rather well. Please keep talking to us. We're thinking of you. ((((MMS))))

mms--

Cliche from Victorian Melodrama: The Truth Will Out.

Beloved families, like the rest of the world, have a weakness for Living Drama. Under the circumstances, bad-mouthing and all, you are not required to send the Happy Newlyweds any sort of wedding gift.

I agree with BorisKitten--your sister has parked her brain out in the passing lot and is "thinking" with crotch and chemicals.

Better start worrying who will take the children when Meth Man and Mama go to jail.

Even better, take a rest from worrying, vent about the undeserved bad-mouthing, and spend some family time with the healthy members of your family.

Hold your dominion.

Thank you...from the bottom of my heart, your words mean so much to me. It helps to have someone to vent to......

Eva..I never took your words as heartless. I actually laughed at it. Yea...novel in the making.



I keep saying that I am at a loss over this. I finally realized today that I really didn't know my sister like I thought I did. Her living elsewhere for 5-6 years and it consisting of weekend visits or holidays, is not honestly knowing what she was deep down inside. And what I'm seeing is not someone that I like very much.

Both of those children are fragile souls. They have been broken down inside to a degree that is so painful to have to admit too. I didn't want to see that either.

The daughter spent 2 weeks in the hospital after this latest divorce. Basically they said she had a nervous breakdown. I'm finding now that she had threatened to kill herself, which I didn't know till today. My sisters lack of an emotional bond with that child I believe is to blame. I never looked at it this way till her ex told us that. He told that it was all he could do to deal with her for those years they were married. That he believed that she done the as well as she done with the kids, because of his demands of a stabile environment. He broke his bond with the children when she moved out. I see now why he did. Even though I don't agree with it.

The youngest one...*M, well...I can't explain him. He's hyper, can't sit still.......if the term is right, its ADHD. Well...she'll put him on his meds, then pull him off. Which isn't fair to him. He's a HIGHLY intelligent child. He makes straight A's and loves to sit and read..for hours. I have recently heard of her telling others about her "nerd" for a son. No..he's not like my boys. My boys are rowdy, rambunctious lil country boys...., but he's so fragile. *For instance...where my boys at the State fair were riding Bungy Balls and Mechanical Bulls, with M..if we just asked him if he wanted to ride, he break down crying. I petted on him all night..trying to let him know it was alright. Where mine go dig in the dirt in the yard, play with trucks, he'll sit and watch them out the window..wanting to go, but afraid to go because he might get dirty. But that comes from my sister not letting him be a lil boy and dig in the dirt. He told her one day here...when I pushed him to go out and play in the hole in the yard, she pushed him then too...he spoke up and told her.."BUT YOU WANT LET ME GET DIRTY". She laughed it off....and told him to go on. That child sat in that dirt pile for hours...just picking sand up and letting it run through his fingers and watching it....it broke my heart.

And the thought of his heart being broken or the daughters being broken just kills me.

I think we thought that once things settled down after her divorce, that the emotional roller coaster that she had us all on would end. Then we had the episode with her daughter there after. So...again..we hoped that once things settled down it would go back to normal. It didn't......then Meth Man showed up in the picture. A 5 week relationship and boom, they're married. She broke the news to her daughter last Thursday night at a Conference at School. The daughter realized that when her mom wrote her name she didn't use the name that the daughter knew. My sister turn around and told her then, I married him. Thats all the dicussion there was. But its being told by her father that she's very unhappy about the fact that she married him. But realistically, its not EVER going to calm down. The Drama Queen is just that, a crazed lunatic.....looking for a reaction from her family.

Now...Good news. The FIRST EX...the FATHER, has finally woke up and smell the coffee brewin' in his favor. Soooooooooooooooooo, I'm praying that things work out for him, and HINT HINT, with EVERYONE standing behind him to HELP......there may be a stop put to her leaving with the kids. And if he don't, between my family and I....someone will.

AS for my sister....She needs help. But like we talked about earlier, its going to take her falling into the deep pits of hell before she decides that she needs some. In her mind, we are all the bad guys. Were the ones that made or make her do what she's done. She married him out of spite, just to show us she could. And I hope he boxes her jaws for her.

Drugs? I'd hope not. But with everything else thats coming to light, I wouldn't put it past her now.

She has lied soooooooo much, petty things. Just like my internet use has been made into something that its not. The lies are so over exaggerated that they make me sick. But its not all me, that she has lied on....she has bitten each one of us in the back with her mouthing. And as I'm typing this right now, I can promise you one thing...that lil bitch has got an ass whooping coming to the likes she has never had. If I could have gotten my hands on her last night, I would have rattled her teeth. And I have done that once before.......and I will do it again. Not just for what she's had to say about me, but for those kids. I don't care if she wants to run off with METH Man, Drama Queen just needs to leave those kids here and run like hell. But thats the sad part...she'll take them to Mississippi to spite us too. And for what?

And its slowly unfolding.

ssm--

My thoughts are with you. I'm glad that Family is rallying round. Believe me, in custody fights if the family of the mother testifies for the father to have custody, the judge listens.

Meanwhile, we're here to listen to you. Hold your dominion.

Well...its been almost two months since I have spoke of this...I thought maybe you'd like an update. I wish I could be a fly on each ones wall to see your mouths fall open.

Sister called me one night out of the blue about...ummm, a month ago. I sat and listened to her rattle on and never spoke so much as a few syllabuls except as in .."hummm". She went on like we had been talking everyday and hadn't missed a beat. I had finally had enough and broke into her rattling to tell her that we needed to have a chit-chat.

I explained to her how I felt about HER situation and how she had done US all WRONG.

At the end of the conversation, she was crying non-stop and apologizing over and over again. I accepted the apology with a word of warning to her about opening her mouth about me, or anyone else again. That enough was enough. It was time this crap ended. That she done what she done and it was time to take control of her own life and tend to the needs of her kids.

I speak to my sister everyday now. I ask about the kids, to which are staying mostly with her ex-mother in law. I know there...atleast they are being taken care of. It might not be what I want, but none the less they are being taken care of.

She...as one of you mentioned, (Surprise, Suprise) is filing for divorce from so called meth man, who has disapeared off the face of the earth. This is after he abandoned his niece and nephew off on her, after his sister went to jail for drugs..humm? (in another state) Say it runs in the family?

I do have to say this...I learned a valuable lesson. When she called me in a panic, telling me that she wanted a divorce and she wanted her car back and blah blah blah, the first thing I did, was jump into action, planning and thinking how to get her out of this mess she was in. Then it hit me........why should I? I didn't get her into it...I'm not going to get her out of it this time. About the time I decided to call her back and tell her that, she called me. I told her to suck it up.......she got herself into this mess, and she was the only one that could get herself out of it!! That there was nothing that I could do for her this time. And things have seemed much better now.........she's actually handling her own troubles without involving us ALL in it.

Thank GOD!

mms--

Happy Springtime!

Congratulations on gritting your teeth and clenching your fists and turning your sister loose on her very own mess. Double congratulations on dressing her down about lying gossip. Triple congratulations on staying in touch with her, despite her failings.

Hold your dominion.

I can only guess that this lesson may need many applications to actually work, but you have done the start. It is really better for both of you, what you are doing, both giving her a clue to the way, and not doing it for her.

hug to ya, mms.