Seems that you both have selective hearing. Read my post again, dear.
Seems I did misread that post....
Update...
You know, I don't even know where to start. I'm going to try to make this somewhat short...(well see?)
ehBeth asked me about my sister? I had to go and see what I had written about her, so I'd know where to start. The funny thing is, I left off in June of 2006, and here we are December of 2007, and I'm somewhat still dealing with her. This time around, I'm not angry....I don't even think my feelings are hurt anymore where she's concerned, because I know what to expect out of her. But the story basically reads the same as it did before....
So...here's the story~~~
This relationship with this guy was troublesome to begin with, and being the sister I have, she continued with it. Even calling me in the middle of the night a few times to "save" her. Thanksgiving last year was the last time I spoke to my sister in person, up until Sept of this year. I had to make a break from her and the drama, there had been enough.
At Thanksgiving my sister acted stranger than usual. Quiet and didn't draw much attention to herself. I knew then that she was up to something, or something was going on that she was talking about.
I was right!
She disapeared quickly after Thanksgiving that night and wasn't heard from again till Christmas morning. On my way to Christmas dinner with my family, I get a notice of a text message; looking... I realize it was from her. Yes, this pissed me off to no end. Especially after I read it!
The text message read: CONGRATS! You will be a new aunt on your birthday!! Love, SIS
I never acknowledged it. To say that I didn't have a fit, would be a lie. She ruined Christmas day for me. I was sick...and didn't even participate in the days activities. My mother kept asking me what was wrong and I wouldn't tell her. I didn't have the heart to tell her. And I didn't....
I let it go for about a week till my mother asked me about it again, so thats when I finally caved and gave her the news. She was so upset...
I hadn't spoken to my sister till Sept 15th of this year. She got my number here in Alabama somehow, and called. In her breathless voice I get the story of how X has tried to kill her, she's been in jail, he's stalking her..and so on. What made me believe her was the fact that X's own grandmother called as well and wanted to bring my sister to me in Alabama. That it was life or death. Yes, I was rude...told her I had to think about it.
So being the glutton for punishment that I am, I did what I thought was right...because now, there was a two month old baby involved. I go to the state-line and get them.
X put us through hell, he got ahold of my cell phone number and repeatedly called it, threatened us. Gave my number to strangers who were calling. The law in ARkansas even called my cell phone number because he file a missing person's report on her. He filed this about a month after she'd left. He basically tried to threaten her into coming back. He called the FBI, the CIA...and every local law enforcement office in the nation trying to do something about us...(mentally off & honestly thought he was going to get somewhere) Ohh yeah, the reason we knew who he was calling was because the cell phone he was making these calls from belonged to my sister. So we go logged onto our local website and copied all the numbers off, looked them up and wallaa...could keep up with him somewhat that way...
One phone call, I answered, he informed me that I was aiding and abetting a fugitive, threatened me with kidnapping charges, and told me that I was a breach of Nat'l security (ROTF) Of course, I can act as crazy as he was on the phone, which went over like a turd in a churn. But at that point, I had...had it. Ya'll really outta have heard some of his messages...Ohh yeah, and that the baby was a DOD baby (Dept of Defense) and the one that I liked the best was I didn't have the permission of the Governor of the great state of ARkansas to have taken the DOD baby and leave the state.
He even went as far as to call my sisters' first ex with the kids, and tell them that she was crazy, threatening to commit suicide and to kill them, and kidnap the kids. The law got involved there as well. (We filed charges against him...) You couldn't go anywhere without looking over your shoulder for his threats. He even threatened to kill me.... (tape recorded, of course)
In the meantime, X was arrested the first time in his hometown for sorted reasons (bomb threat) and spent 10 days in the state mental hospital. Then...got out and made his way to Tennessee and was arrested again for accosting a customer outside of a restuarant, again he spent 12 days in a Tennessee mental hospital. The shot in his hip he received calmed him down enough that he stopped bothering us. But the shot doesn't last but 21 days....and things calmed down.
So, my husband and I are just about to get her over the "hump", she seems to be doing good, wanted to stay here with us, had a job for her when we come back from Thanksgiving in Arkansas... The baby was doing wonderful...etc. I had honestly thought....maybe things will settle down.
Yeah....wrong. The very week before Thanksgiving, I notice that I can't answer my own phone, the caller I.D on the T.V is constantly being turned off, phone calls are being deleted and everytime the phone rings, she runs outside to talk privately. So, I called her on it. Sure enough it was X! What a surprise....
I pretty much got rude a hateful over it, reminded her of what all he'd put US through, yadda yadda yadda...and it feel on deaf ears. Actually, she got hateful with me, and told me to drop it! WRONG thing to tell me. I explained to her that was the only thing we asked out of her, was that he wasn't to have my number or call this house, not after everything he'd done and everything he'd put us through. She comped an attitude, which I called her out over and told her exactly what she was fixing to do, and that she would use this argument that we just had to justify her actions in leaving. Of course, she denied it. I also told her that if she chose to go back to X, that the door was shut forever here, that this was her last chance.
That Thursday before we were to leave on Friday, all together (we were taking three vehicles back) she decided to go on ahead of us. I knew then what she was up too, because she packed up everything she owned in the vehicle that we helped her get (it has my name on title/insurance etc) and I haven't heard from her since!
Nope...not a word............So, there ya go....
BTW...when she got here, I found out soon that she HAD been seing a counselor, and was on THREE different HIGH DOSAGES of ANTI-DEPPRESANTS! they were actually helping, I think??? Which the first thing we done after her arrival was made her another appt., with another counselor here.....she went one trip........
And ohhh yeah.........
She's STILL married to the 3rd husband who run off and hasn't been seen since....
The family joke had sounded like this: Humm, whats this baby's last name going to be? Lets see, she goes by the second husbands last name, while still married to the third husband, and pregnant by a X, so it multiple choice...anyone wanna take a guess?
Oh ****!!! You've been to hell and back MMS!!!
Ohh ****! was right, I told my mother that I would rather be knocked upside the head than go and do what I was fixing to do, because I knew ahead of time how this was going to turn out. She can not be trusted.
I should have went with my gut instinct and made her suffer through it, but I had the little monkey on my shoulder tugging at me and telling me..."What if he does kill her, how would you feel then?" So, I did what I thought was right.
I'm not going to lie though, I thought maybe being in a different state, away from everyone that we know, every influence would help. Well, thats what I told myself. It did for the first part of her stay, it was a wonderful normal sister relationship. We actually had fun together. We enjoyed the baby so much which has now been jerked away from us. But my sister was enjoying herself as well. We cooked, spent time walking, and for the most part...we talked, and talked about everything. I didn't hold anything back with her over her behavior. Lots of tears flowed, and she even admitted that she had made MANY mistakes in her life, but Alabama was a new start for her, and she was going to take it.
We even talked about how unhealthy her relationships were, the one she was in now....and what effects it had, would have in the future etc, and she agreed to everything I had to say. She knew it was a dead end street, there was no future there.
And boom, at the last minute, she up and leaves with no word whatsoever?
Here's the real catch, she is or has got the emotional/mental state of a very abused woman. She was loaded with guilt over leaving him, thinking she made a mistake. Maybe she should give him another chance? What if she'd done things differently? She shouldn't have left him? For the first time in years, I witnessed her openly display low self-esteem. She kept second guessing herself, there was too many "What if's". And I kept reminding her of all the "what if's" if she had stayed. And she agreed. The counselor she went to see, even backed up everything I had been talking to her about. I honestly thought I could get her through this....
But I learned, there isn't enough talking in the world to someone that is on a path of destruction looking for a place to have an accident. All the anti-depressants, all the love, the therapy doesn't help if they have their mind made up in the beginning. And all she was doing was making a statement to him. Once he quit chasing her, is when she made that left turn and headed back. There wasn't anymore drama unfolding, so she had to create some.....
holllyyy.....sh...
what the
*sigh
I have, NOTHING to say.. and that aint normal..
shewolfnm wrote:holllyyy.....sh...
what the
*sigh
I have, NOTHING to say.. and that aint normal..
Even when shewolf says nothing she still says it.
MMS--
Quote:But I learned, there isn't enough talking in the world to someone that is on a path of destruction looking for a place to have an accident. All the anti-depressants, all the love, the therapy doesn't help if they have their mind made up in the beginning. And all she was doing was making a statement to him. Once he quit chasing her, is when she made that left turn and headed back. There wasn't anymore drama unfolding, so she had to create some.....
I'm guessing from a distance that your sister doesn't want to be in charge of her life. In her head, she's still about 13 years old and she wants a nice mommie (you) or a wicked stepdaddy ("X") to make the rules for her.
Of course your heart aches for her--and even more for the baby--but your heart could do push-ups and your liver could do pull-ups and your brain could run a marathon and your sister would still be an immature fool.
Brace yourself for a Merry Christmas--I'm betting that your sister will help you celebrate the holidays with her very own memorable style.
****
Good to see you back on A2K. I've missed your posts.
Hold your dominion.
Quote:I'm guessing from a distance that your sister doesn't want to be in charge of her life. In her head, she's still about 13 years old and she wants a nice mommie (you) or a wicked stepdaddy ("X") to make the rules for her.
Ha! Hit the nail on the head!
My mother even told me the same thing: "You have always been the mother to her, even when you were little...you wouldn't let her walk on her own two feet because you carried her, she didn't speak...because you spoke for her, and your'e still doing it now."
I guess in some ways, I am, and it's way past time to put a stop to it.
And your right about the wicked step-daddy statement, I think she likes to be abused. It gives her something to stick out in a crowd over, be the center of attention and to be pitied. I would rather live life on a grandour scale and be remembered for the things I've contributed to society and those I love, instead of all that I have taken away from them.
I don't think she's in a pickle. I think she has a pickle in her.
Pickled Porcupine.....ROTF
But, what about the baby?
I miss my baby, she was so beautiful, healthy and good natured.
She's with her mother and X, to my dismay. There was no way I could keep her...I was hoping to keep the Sister within arms reach till the baby got up a lil older, because my sister grows tired of them quickly once they start walking/talking, then they aren't so much fun anymore to her....there's no one stopping her to comment on how beautiful a baby she has.
My sister hasn't mistreated the baby, she is a good mother....until like I mentioned above. Then she starts dumping them off on family.
And another sad fact is this, my sister would give that baby to a crackhead before she'd give her to me to raise. She'd do it out of spite just to hurt me, and I know that.......
MMS--
I don't know as she likes to be abused as much as she grew up with abuse and thinks that abuse is all she deserves--abuse is the way the world is supposed to be.
Giving up abusive men would mean that she was in charge--and she doesn't want to grow up.
Perhaps she's still hoping Peter Pan will invite her to Never Never Land and she'll never have to grow up.
I bet you hear from her before the holiday season is over. Hold your dominion.
Noddy,
I know you are all to well right, you have such a wonderful way of explaining things much better than I do....
I just really hope that she doesn't bother to call or show up before Christmas, I intend on enjoying this one in the far reaches of South Alabama, without her....
But again, your probably right there also.......
MMS--
You're going to have a Christmas so wonderful that your baby sister won't be able to blot up the family glow.
Go for it.
...and the soap continues!
MMS, your sister won't change, it's too late for that, but I am concerned
about the baby. If X is really mentally unstable and disturbed, who
knows what he might do, when the baby cries or bothers him. Can't
you call social services on her?
What about the other kids of your sister, where are they?
I guess, Alabama isn't far enough for your troubled family members.
