Please stop with the porn

I hear ya Slappy and more power to ya.

I went into those threads at first exactly because it was the irrational insecurity that got to me - and the way those women were all too often basically first forcing their men to lie and then getting angry at them for lying to them. Well, duh. And I posted a bunch of emphasizing, well-balanced thought-over pieces of advice and everything (glad to hear they worked for you shewolf) - and then I just got tired and annoyed about it all.

Hey, we only be human too, just like them. Dlowan is right - they got the right to come here and ask their questions. And we got a right to say what our opinion on the matter is. Now we can go to endless trouble of once again rephrasing it in the most polite way in their own threads - or we can speak our mind the way we feel it in a thread of our own. And if they dont mind people not pussyfootin' around their feelings but just giving it straight how they see it, well then they can come here and read the other take on it. By now there's enough threads where they can find each other and have a mutually confirming and reinforcing hugfest - I think that if anything its actually pretty healthy if this forum gives 'em a thread to read the other take on it all as well.

<shrugs>

Absolutely....good points.

We aren't the only members that get tired of redundant topics, I've noticed newbies in the philosophy thread posting topics that have already been hashed to death many times over and the seasoned members there come right out and tell them and or post links.
Who wants to hear the same thing over and over again, not I.

I agree with Paula!
I'd rather reactivate a very old thread and write my
2 cents to it before I open a new topic on the same subject.

It is just common courtesy to others who have been
around for quite a while.

Let's face it, very few "porn queens" stay on and activly
contribute to a2k. They open their topic, get some answers and move on.....

Haha, I think you're right ehBeth

Porn is Porn.....who cares, if it turns his ass on before he comes to bed and makes him that much more of a wild man, than more power to him and the porn.....LOL

Im still here.

Lessee...

I've burned out on posting my point of view on those threads, my point of view coinciding with most posters here, though I might have been one of those question-askers myself years ago. I've (mostly) stopped even looking at the porn questions.. This is, for me, a problem related to repetitive questions about anything.

When I do look at them, my interest now is not so much about the porn as about seeing how people are feeling about the privacy issues between mates. Or as nimh mentioned, the cause and effect of telling lies.
Things can be complicated. Having porn be a bad thing can enhance the thrill?

I've considered looking up one of my earlier answers and keeping it in my, heh, sticky notes (old imacs have stickies instead of a clipboards or notepads, whatever) so that I can just cut and paste an answer. I haven't actually done that.

I do agree w/ the bunny that each new poster is coming to this question and answer forum with a burdened heart; some have been helped, in my point of view, by the comments they've gotten.
And I agree that porn-conservatives have a right to their feelings.
And think myself that there is porn, and then there is porn (with children, etc.) that really is degrading.

edit to improve spelling...

You are right here ossobucco,
I would have a huge problem with porn that involves children or animals or other hurtful scenes, and I'd
be appalled by any person who watches these kind
of porns. I'm sure we all do!

Ok, I will admit..
I am a hyprocrite.
I found A2K because I was doing a google search about porn and its possible addictions. Yup.. I found out my hubby was looking at porn.
Yup.. went through the : oh my god: phase too. MIND YOU .. I came form a diffrent stand point then alot of the ' porn queens' on this thread. I had spent 2 years with someone who WAS truly addicted to porn. He would spend in the upwards of 500 a month, and lock himself in the bathroom for 2 hrs at a time with porn.. would get pissy when he didnt have it and was slowly sliding down the smut scale. Basically.. it had to be raunchier an raunchier to quench his desire. Women in the photos were getting younger and younger and then he started having ' real pictures' of VERY young women.... scary... Needless to say, that left ME traumatized and scared of porn. ( it is now almost 10 years later and I am just now getting over that situation )

ANYWAY.. Having been there, when I found my new husbands porn collection I had a flash back. And since I had never had a real relationship and had never been with a real man, I didnt know what to think.
When I started looking on the internet for answers, A2k came up SOOO many times in my google searches that I figured.. go to it.
So I did.
A2K, because it has the key words ' porn addiction', comes up on the google search,usually with in the first 7 hits.
Someone .. I believe EhBeth.. asked the question Why A2k , when there are so many other sites to go to that help. Well.. my personal experience ......
I choose A2k because , one of the selling points to the website was the amount of subscribers. Some thousands of people are registered on this site. In my little mind, that ment that many opinions and suggestions I could gain from posting my problem. Also, forums are modified chat rooms. Wich ment instant solutions/compassion/sympathy etc.
I knew that when I was hunting down some advice on my 'porn issue' that the issue really wasnt with him.. it was with me. I just wanted to get other peoples opinions before I approached my husband. And .. as I have said before.. Nimh basically sat me on my ass by telling me like it is and re stating what I was already thinking.
I understand the exhaustion with the hubby+porn+hatred threads . ( here comes the hyprocrite in me ) but like Dlowan said.. everyone truly believes they have a problem and they really are burdened with the problems they either IMAGINE they are having, or, they really are having.
And when you are searching the internet and a site like this one comes up MORE then once.. well.. it seems to be the answer.
I did it. Im GLAD I did it. It has helped my relationship and myself in getting over quite a few things. The women who post here about porn are hoping for the same thing.
It would be a great idea though, to be able to lump them together so that everyone else doesnt have to sift through the hundreds of threads about it just to get to one that isnt.

And hi, makesmeshiver, long time no see!

Slappy, can you possibly help me?

now here's the deal. i thought i was happily married until one nice and sunny day i was browsing my favourite websites such as "sexy cheerleaders dressed like pink bunnies", "super extra diesel voyeur" or "duct tape milfs" when suddenly my wife entered room and saw me watching porn. i was really afraid that we are going to have a fight or even possibly that we will never ever again have sex or at least for a month, but she said it is okay for her. now, i really like her and i respect her, but being really confused with her i had to do some things. first i cracked her password and checked her e-mail very carefully and since i haven't found anything suspicious i sent e-mails to all her friends trying to find out if she ever talked with them about porn - of course, i did that as she was the one that is writing. next, despite the fact that i am good one and she is disrespectful and stuff i checked her mobile phone messages, i looked in all pockets of all her clothes and i also hired several private detectives to follow her around 24 hours a day. then i payed some of my best looking friends to try to seduce her, and i downloaded cool software on our computer such as "keyboard typing superhero spy" and some other useful devices like a secret machine that tapes all phone conversations. what i wanted to know is why she doesn't like me and acts like i am nothing to her??? why are women like this??

Nice post shew.

hee hee, sounds familiar MOU. i think i've read that on the board somewhere multiple times.
just one note, slapster, on your initial post: it was proven (there was a broadcast about porn on NPR while back, Talk of the Nation, I think) that women are actually MORE visually stimulated than men. The reason for not watching porn and the fright it causes is somewhere else. Culture, motherhood, whatever. Just fyi, may come in handy one day ;-)

hm, I don't know dagmaraka...you don't see a lot of guys ending up with ugly old rich ladies And, also, women can be more visually stimulated, but we are visually stimulated in different ways - and faster

See what happens when you listen to things like NPR, Dag?

I know women are also visually stimulated, I have chick friends who buy themselves porn. Maybe that study proved in some ways they are more stimulated?

However, there's definitely different factors that stimulate the sexes. This is why so many people can't figure out the opposite sex. "why doesn't he like me." "What do I say to a girl when I call her"

I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and...on. But I have stuff to do today, hopefully go for a lil' ride before the next snow storm.

whereas faster ist not always a good thing MOU

but of course I am fast in getting stimulated, and then I am extremely slow - believe me you would get enormously bored

Trying to remove scandalous picture.

I'm sorry. I think I've even disturbed myself. I seriously don't know what's going on in that pic.