Please stop with the porn

AWW, but it was FUN>>>>>>>LOL

ROTFLMAO

Shewolf......would you believe that mine is my husbands DRAWER!!! LMAO

You guys better quit it otherwise I'll send you both to your rooms!

Maybe later, when the thread goes back to normal , I will come back. I do not have the energy to battle with people. This is supposed to be a 'fun' thread.
: throwing up hands:

Hasta ' la 'bye-bye

Probably has a life out there irl ...

Anyway ... <he said, patiently (or is that compulsively?) finishing his posts ...>


Like homeboy said (forget who) - no doubt whatsoever that we'll all heartily agree on that one ...


I dont have stats (hey folks! When's the last time you heard me say that? ;-)) ... but I do have an anecdote ... <grins>

I bought these books, by, err, Nancy Friday? Famous feminist of sorts? She compiled this book with womens fantasies ... called upon women to send her their own, anonymously if need be ... to see what the range was, how they perhaps differed from men's.

Her book appeared, I think, in the 70s. Its a cool read, but cooler still is the update she did a generation later, early 90s?, a new book. The stories had totally changed! Well, not totally, many of the same narratives still, but the attitude had greatly changed. A lot fewer fantasies about somehow being forced into that exciting bout of sex (a fantasy that betrays an ingrained sense of guilt - being the only narrative that allows you to have the fun and still have remained the good girl, anyway ...). Instead, a lot more fantasies in which the women were the ones to take the initiative themselves and stuff. Bolder stuff, too, more openly written. So in the introduction she speculates on the possible underlying social changes ... meanwhile, of course, the rest of the book is a lot of fun ;-)

Thing is, I dont have those books anymore ... I lent one to my then-gf, and another to a (female) friend of mine, and come to think of it, an Anais Nin book to my later gf ... and, err, unsurprisingly perhaps, I never got any of 'em back ... was sent off with some excuse the time I tried to ask about it ...


LOL!


Perhaps cause of the same reasons why many men look at porn:
either), they're not getting any/enough,
or) they like sex and are trying out anything that seems fun ...
both I guess happen as much inside a marriage/relationship as outside, sadly/happily enough ...


'Xactly.


Right on girl!


A momentary escape from real life and its concerns? An easy way to get off without having to spend any concern about making the other person feel good? Or when you feel like getting off but you know the missus isnt feeling like it? Guys? There must be a dozen reasons ... including the one about your wife not being a midget and refusing to wear the Nixon mask, or what was it ...


Yeah, thats the part most of us guys will never get, I guess ... why one would need to follow from another ... My sister goes to all the concerts of this one band - totally digs its singer (as in: the singer, not the music, necessarily ;-)) ... ok, so its a bit adolescent behaviour, and my bro-in-law is mildly disdainful about it ... but I dont see him going oh-my-god, am I not handsome enough, doesn't she love me anymore?

I dunno ... if your loved one feels like that, its gotta concern you ... but it can also be quite aggravating, I'm sure.

It's also something people just seem to get over as they get older and have been with each other long enough though, innit? The young 'uns are so insecure ... and here's me talking, and I'm only Cav's age ... ;-)

Yes, you are my age, and I am immortal, nimh. You are in good company my man.

HOLY SH!T!!! What happened here?

1st off, you f'n morons: I have a job, and one many people should be jealous of. I'm the man. Remember that. Some days I'm on the road all day(today), some in the "office," and you'll see me more on here.

Panazade? Macho image? IMAGE? Maybe you haven't read some of my weekend-warrior tales...they're not made-up. Yes, I'm really a pretty down to earth guy, many times laid back, and aren't always swinging off the ceilings sh!tfaced, but c'mon...

I honestly can't go back 20 pages and tear apart everything this chick has said. I'm too lazy. Just to touch up on some points:

-You say, without reserve, "porn is cheating." I didn't realize you have the authority to speak for every other relationship on this earth! Some couples will BOTH agree, porn is not allowed. Some relationships, the COUPLE like to watch porn together! Are they still cheating on each other?

Many women watch porn. So you know of 1 or 2. I know of more. Is this a "weakness?"

And no thanks, I'm not going to argue with you whether it's cheating or not, because you're not my girlfriend, so I could care less if you think it is or not.

My whole point of this thread, was to point out to INSECURE women, WHY men look at porn...some insight, from a male, as to the attraction to porn. I didn't get into at what level it becomes unhealthy...again, not the point. The whole point was that men are visually stimulated, and no matter how f'n attracted he is to you, or how hot you are, pretty much no matter what you do, he's going to notice other women. I wonder, where's the line drawn with you? Porn is cheating, but is watching a movie with a sex symbol in her underwear? What about checking out a waitress? Whacking off? No, not that...you admitted to masturbating, so it must be ok.

My whole biology thing again, was to make a point, not to say men go around banging 30 women a month. But you know what? In a way, being in a committed relationship suppresses the natural urge, and porn plays a part in releasing it. I know, us men are so "weak." (you pointed out porn plays into men's weaknesses...and said nothing about women who watch porn).

You said "As to your numerous rants about deciding against marriage, I can only say that, given your outlook, you're making a wise choice. It would be foolish to burden an innocent woman with your selfish perspective."

Thanks for pointing out how I could ruin another sweet, innocent female. Actually, I am a little self-centered, in a non-arrogant way. But at least I'm as upfront a person you'd ever meet. Guess that's why I will never date an insecure woman again for the rest of my life...it may take a while to find one, and heck, I just like meeting different women, hence why I don't see myself at this point of my life getting married. I'm actually a very secure person who doesn't rely on relationships for happiness. Plus the odds of a lasting marriage just aren't in your favor.

I don't have the patience to go back and quote every paragraph, but you also mentioned how you, when finding out your husband used porn, wondered if he wasn't attracted to you, then how it led to problems in the bedroom because YOU couldn't handle the possiblity of him thinking of other woman:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Guess what??? MEN WILL THINK OF OTHER WOMEN!!! You can't change this, and this is part of what my whole thread was about. You see it as a "weakness," I'm trying to tell you, it's NATURAL!

And the whole thing about you wondering if he doesn't find you sexy? That's an INSECURITY. It sounds like there's a lot more issues going on with that, considering your refusing sex with him.

For the last time, I'm not arguing whether or not it's "cheating," because that's something that has to be defined within the relationship. Some couples "swing" with others, and have good relationships.

I don't know how to end this, and my post is all over the place. You made some good points, but you came across like it's some widespread problem men have, but didn't touch up on your acknowledgment that women use porn. Also, I did point out, that porn can lead to problems, and some get addicted like they do to alcohol. But I was really just talking about the women who initially find out their guy owns a couple pornos and flips their lid over it, NOT instances where it's so bad it ruins marriage. Instead, you took it to that level.

Well said, Slappy! Since I don't have the patience to read back too far, has reading porn or even very sexy novels been mentioned? I wonder if that is more a woman thing than it for men? I can really get steamy reading a goooood description of love making. Good sex is good sex and should be enjoyed. Period.

Montana says its not the same thing. You hear!? <grins>

(j/k Montana)

Hmmm - there's a lot of emphasis on hiding stuff here - as though it is really bad.

I mean, there is no way, no matter how close a relationship I am in, that I want all my stuff out there. I might "hide" all sorts of things - like I sort of hide A2k - just as I did Abuzz, for instance. I want parts of my life that are JUST mine. (I don't mean hide as in it is a secret, just as in this is my li'l space). I buy way too many books and stuff - I might well fudge about having bought something - not because I feel bad, just cos it ain't nobody's business but my own....

I think hiding stuff like you had unprotected sex with someone else is, of course, absolutely wrong....

Hiding porn? Hmmm - well, if that is your li'l secret thing, why not? I mean, if you are gonna be wasting so much time hiding it that it causes trouble, maybe it is dumb...

But - there is no way I want a "fused" relationship - I expect space - and better expect to give it.

What the boundaries are of that space gets worked out between couples, of course - and I would be upfront about the fact thta there IS space.

But, I guess I am saying that some secrets - as long as they are not dangerous ones - do not strike me per se as being a problem - well, mebbe it would be clearer to say "very private spaces."

And - there just ain't no way of controlling what goes on in a person's head nohow - to expect to do so - or expect them to be doing that - is spooky, to me.


Heheheeheh - mebbe that is why I will never get married?

So dlowan, has anyone found out about your "secret" with chugging whole bottles of ketchup at 3am every night/morning?

When did you stop beating your squirrel?

oddly enough, that isn't a non sequitur...

Great post dlowan (the long one).

Slappy.....we've been waiting on you..lol

WEll PUT

Please note that I was the one to point out that Slappy had a good job. What the rest of you were thinking is entirely your own business.

Thanks Cav.

Being a stunt-ass is a great job.

(Stunt-ass: when actor has to show his ass in a movie, and they show someone else's because it's nicer...that's my ass).

Wax or shave?

I've been told it's plucked.