Back in the singles' club again

Keep home as your beacon of love and calm. You only have to get through a few more days.

Can you tell me again when your flight is?

edited, I was confused about the circumstances, and now I have reread the thread.

still having ups and downs. trying to deal. E has a cold, i think he's home. still hoping we'll be able to at least 'hang' one day in future, as friends. perhaps wishful thinking. if i ever saw him with another woman, i'd probably get a stroke and flat-out died on the spot.
the plane leaves at 5:50pm on Sunday. He might take me, though I can't decide yet how I'd handle that - you know, if he drops me off it will probably hit me that this is it, forever and ever. But that will hit me when I'll leave the house anyway. i'll let you know. I'm a bit of a mess, but holding onto that dominion the best i can.

Hello Dagmaraka, I have not had the chance to read all of your latest postings...but I want to wish you well. Looks like you have a lot of friends here! You helped me get out of my snooping habit with Mr.O and I am proud to tell you that it's been several days since I last checked his google. It's great being google free! Thanks and best of lick! <--- I'm not going to edit my mistake. hee hee. I want to wish you the best of LUCK and I guess also the best of "lick" too. I can't believe I just typed this. HAhahah.

Dag is one of the most beautiful women on A2K, and she will have no trouble at all finding another guy, once she loses the 50 lbs of "it's over" weight and stops referring to all men as "schmuck".

;-) no worries cj, i lost 7 pounds instead. no weight gaining here... i wish i could call the silly man names, but he is actually a wonderful person, just not sure if i'm the 'one'. and that hurts (especially after 8 years) but oh well. i will live.

Yeah sweetie - you will - but it'll feel like **** for a while.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Dagmaraka))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Wish the smeggers actually helped - the hugs I mean.

Dag--

If science is any comfort, consider that E's emotional upheaval has affected his immune system--hence the sneezing and wheezing and the Cold of the Century.

Seventy-two hours until that plane--and you'll have to check in early. You can do seventy-two hours without sucumbing to either murder or suicide.

Keep holding.

not trying to be depressing or negative, but even IF he "takes the plunge" and proposes etc, it doesn't men he's over his fear of commitment or fear of rejection, it just may come out in other places.. in other ways

Thanks, dlowan, thanks noddy. no violent thoughts here. E stayed at a friends' house last night, couldn't handle how weird things are between us. I slept as if I was in a coma, not bad. no violent thoughts here either. just much sadness.
Nathor, you are very right, and that's what i was trying to explain to him - that sooner or later he will have to deal with his anxiety, no matter what. he listened, rest is in his hands.
will go see 3 more apartments today, am sick of it. some 50 hours to go (thinking of Johny Cash's 19 minutes to go....)

This is literally giving me nightmares, Dag. Re-living this awful phase, leaving what had been my home for a year (though I hadn't done nearly so much to the apt. or the garden), looking for an aprtment, trying to re-organize and re-center myself... ugh.

Which is to say, my sympathies, and so glad you have a loving family to go to.

you did well, soze. that is inspiring and hopefull. but not within the next few months, i don't think.

found an apartment. two women about my age and seems with similar disposition. smallish, but they are normal and sane, which is important. E is sending me perky emails, it is all so odd and difficult. will chat with the girls at length tomorrow. Relief. Not quite.

Congratulations on the apartment!

He's sending you perky e-mails? Aargghhh!

Dag--

You are accomplishing a great deal for a woman with a wounded heart. Very impressive.

Less than two days until your plane takes off. Hold your dominion.

Good news Dag!

Congratulations, Dag! I'm proud of you! To be able to act decisively at a time like this shows a great deal of strength & determination!
Only one thing about you post bothers me: the reference to "smallish" ... Were you talking about the women or the room? I hope it was the room! (speaking as a smallish woman! We're OK!)
Good luck, Dag. I'm sure E is stunned by the fast progress you've made. Perhaps you could ask him to desist from the e mail messages for a while, if they upset you?

Excellent! So glad things are coming along well for you.

I wouldn't share my intimate space with anyone, except possibly maybe a mute dwarf. Or is that a dwarf mute. Never mind. Nice to read that no one has been diced into their roommate's freezer. Girls just know how to party. Boys haven't a clue.
Good luck!

Last day. Had a beautiful last night with E. Had drinks, watched a movie, and all. Luckily I am so unspeakably exhausted by now that I don't even have energy to cry anymore. I just feel hollow. Should finish packing, really. Perhaps go jogging first.