if that's all it takes...
dagmaraka wrote:dlowan wrote:
That's intereresting....as a family therapist, I'd love it if you could briefly describe the "complex methodologies". I know the schools pretty well, so a few keywords would likely do it, if you are kind and generous enough to oblige my curiosity. If it's too irksome, no problems.
This would warrant a thread of its own, since we're getting into conflict resolution theory...but just for starters our point of departure was narrative mediation. We applied it to identity conflicts and working with groups rather than pairs. Essentially we adapted Winslade&Monk to groups in step1, tested it in a few long term village dialogue projects in Israel and Cambodia.
From there we developed more nuanced step by step methodologies for a) village dialogues (that actually move well beyond dialogue and include memorialization projects, field trips, work with psychosocial therapists....) and b)for cross-conflict dialogue. Here we developed an approach we call "historical timelines" that get the two groups to address specifically the most 'alive' portions of public memories, write down timelines for events relating to the conflict from the perspective of each group, present them to each other and then analyze the outcome - which is always the same - essentially it's a realization that the two stories are equal in their value, that they are selective (we ask them to look at the timelines from a perspective of an outside observer, and usually the timelines don't overlap in more than one or two events...of 20-30 events written down), that they serve a purpose (each story justifies our existence, shows our 'mission'), that they are similar in terms of ours being glorifying of us and very negative about the 'other...... Conclusion that groups arrive at are crucial - that 'truth' (who did what to whom) is not the end-goal we are striving for... It is about acknowledgment, validation, humanizing of the 'other', realizing the constructivist nature of collective memory and role it plays in identity formation and finding out where emotions that enter current conflict come from, thus being able to address them better.... Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera..... It works wonders, actually.
Aha!!! Thank you. That makes great sense.
I am/or more properly was, and still am a bit, a narrative goil me very own self.
Michael White (if you know who that is) sadly died a couple of months ago...he was presenting in San Diego at the time. I had known him since 1979. narrative therapists/narrative influenced therapists here in his home town still in shock.
didn't know he died, i do know him...did...his work. you know.
dagmaraka wrote: This would warrant a thread of its own, since we're getting into conflict resolution theory.
That sounds like a thread I'd like to read. No urgency, no pressure to talk work in your free time. But I found your Cambodia thread extremely interesting. So whenever you feel like it and have time, I would love to learn about the theory behind this work.
Thomas wrote:dagmaraka wrote: This would warrant a thread of its own, since we're getting into conflict resolution theory.
That sounds like a thread I'd like to read. No urgency, no pressure to talk work in your free time. But I found your Cambodia thread extremely interesting. So whenever you feel like it and have time, I would love to learn about the theory behind this work.
Seconded. With enthusiasm.
Oy. OK....though I just said it all :-)
wouldn't know where to begin...maybe i'll just make a generic work thread. right now i'm consumed by armenia-azerbaijani dialogue stuff.....and by azerbaijani individuals, i guess.
so, now that i unfreaked, i think i am as ready as i'll ever be to see this guy (which is never, but now i can deal with it)... i already told him not to come this weekend, now i kinda wish i didn't. although i think it's good i had a chance to think for a few days and have the ball in my court, make it my choice and not see it as something that dropped on me.
but now i feel foolish telling him to come and i sure as hell ain't going down to NYC again this weekend. i guess i just have to wait a few days and get him to come or go down next weekend...eh.
....and by next weekend, you're going to be so ready for him, dag.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say
I can think of worse things in life than a week of mutual anticipation.
he's good, this one. he really does give me space and time. ("time is yours", said he.). so i get to do the pursuing and deciding.... alas, i think i was meant to be a guy.
Thomas wrote:I can think of worse things in life than a week of mutual anticipation.
yes, although he is leaving mid-august for south carolina and i am leaving end of august for netherlands...so there is a finite amount of weekends. tic toc tic toc......poof.
dagmaraka wrote:Thomas wrote:I can think of worse things in life than a week of mutual anticipation.
yes, although he is leaving mid-august for south carolina and i am leaving end of august for netherlands...so there is a finite amount of weekends. tic toc tic toc......poof.
Soooo ....
I don't mean to pry -- no, really! Honest! But now that we're a weekend and a half on, I have to ask, just in general terms of course ... how have your weekends been?
hey, thomas, sorry, i didn't see your last post.
well, the azeri poet bored me to tears eventually. he was sending me poems (in russian, so it took me some time to translate) about death and fate and such... i had to tell him that it's SUMMER, full of life and joy and that death and fate could not be further from my current interests.
He also tried to be funny, because i told him humor is very important to me. But alas, the harder he tried, the worse it got. We still email, but it's more sparse.I didn't go back to New York, though I'll see him at some point this summer.
I was also sidetracked by a very handsome muscular gym trainer/ doctor in training who serves as my personal trainer, making sure i keep in shape. that is definitely not a budding relationship, but it's fun nonetheless. i'm leaving in a few weeks anyway.
dagmaraka wrote: But alas, the harder he tried, the worse it got.
Sounds awkward. Well, enjoy the flirt with your trainer -- the singles' club does have its perks. And after that, happy hunting for
Mijnheer Perfect!
eh, if i find one, great. if i don't, i shall live.
@OGIONIK,
no problem. that's all that he was. sometimes it's helpful to have a personal "trainer" to keep mind busy in times of upheaval, like moving across the ocean after a decade or so.
Did anyone who is in the long-term-single business notice how there are apparent waves of solitude and then waves of excitement? There will be months when not even a leaf rustles on a tree (as we clever Slovaks say), and then all of a sudden (often on the same day!) all sorts of possible affection-worthy subjects emerge... out of thin air, they pop right out. it may be nothing more than an old flame popping up to say hello, been thinking of you, some conversations with interesting strangers... but things tend to happen in bulk. is there some cosmic energy that makes this happen?
@dagmaraka,
Yep. I suspect it's hormones messing with me. Still, it's interesting when it happens.
@Thomas,
not just on the receiving end.... when these people pop up, they pop up in unison, three or more in a day after months of nothing. is it christmas season, or what is it? new years and the damned resolutions?
just messin with u!