Not to make light of all that is being said, just wondering if this might be a birthday thing? Life passage, new beginning sort of thing?
I dunno but myself I have a bday coming up. Closer to thirties than being in my 20's anymore. It's been smacking me upside the head in sorts of ways. Almost like I could palpably feel a shift in wind and air that I breathe. All of a sudden, at least it seems, the world looks so different. Me, my routines and my past, the people and opportunities around me, it tastes different. Might sound weird but that is how I feel.
There is a man who still sticks with me in a lot of ways. I've spoken about him here, my first 'real' love, and it ended very crazy and badly. Badly, in that it was not how I wished it to happen. But I don't regret any of it. I was young, and thought this was the person I would be with for life. The plans were laid, there was even a pregnancy involved. It all turned out so not as I dreamt it would.
I can never go back but I do still sometimes wonder what life would be like if it had all come to pass and I were with him now. Married. Children. House. Friends over for barbeques. Make up sex after fights about money. In some ways, he and that dream became like a standard for comparison for the rest that was to follow. For a long time, and it's not quite done with yet even.
And I relate to how it changes, what seems important enough to act on when it comes to a new man after all that. Respect. Respect being the big thing. Much more: so much more though about being a good person and the more stable sort of qualities in a person through time.
I could so write tonnes here but this thread isn't just about me.
Yall know I am not single right now, and some of the leaps and humps i've gone through to even give this man a chance. It's sometimes hard work, more than i even thought, but is proving to be worth it. It's different. It is romantic but in a different sort of way. Sweeter, almost. Gentler. A lot slower.
Ten years down the line I dunno. No experience with that.
Enjoy the tapas and eye candy, Dag. This might just be shift of air or something.
For what it's worth, I think you are an incredible woman.