Dag, you're making me think it could be possible. I'm going to have to really think about this idea now. I'm sure there are people who would be crazy (or smart!) enough to try it.
I dunno. My boyfriend (okay, John) and I bought a house together when we were looking for an apartment, primarily to get away from my then business partner and her boyfriend. (she and I rented a house after we left our to-us expensive gallery studio space.. by which time she and I were in snarl city over the orange juice.) We were looking at rental listings, but her boyfriend was interested in real estate, and I looked over their flyers...
John and I got the house, which involved some tapdancing since we weren't married and the neighborhood was redlined, but we got it, and the living together went well, comfortable for both. We decided to marry, after a few years, and did it quickly, had a party the day after for friends and relatives, and lived happily for oh, seventeen years. I'm not complaining at this point and neither is he. What the hell, we could have sold the house early, but we decided to stay together.
Trouble is now, things are so much more onerous, re debt and other doo doo, for those who might want to just leap ahead...
I see I didn't mention we loved each other, when we made the move. We did.
Or we thought we did.
And, looking back, we did.
Love is a leap.
Yes, love really is a leap, isn't it.
I'm still trying to figure out how this trial boyfriend/girlfriend idea could work...
hmm, i am hoping to madly fall in love with one of my good friends. i already feel comfortable with them, just need to fall in love. so simple.
well, kicky, there certainly needs to be a warranty, a free return period, in the contract. but other than that, some online matching system could be developed. like e-harmony, but targeted towards living with someone. you'd have to answer questions about what movies you like, and whether you can stand a mate that smokes, and whether you ever remember to take the trash out, or if socks randomly scattered on a couch bother you, and such important things. we can make a profit off of this!
dagmaraka wrote:hmm, i am hoping to madly fall in love with one of my good friends. i already feel comfortable with them, just need to fall in love. so simple.
You're not serious, right?
wel, not you, slappy, i already am madly in love with you, but i know my chances are slim. too bad.
you are right. what ameliorates my pain is that there are hundreds like me. lining up just to catch a glimps of Slappy.
I'll participate to sniff out when things are going wrong again.
dagmaraka wrote:you are right. what ameliorates my pain is that there are hundreds like me. lining up just to catch a glimps of Slappy.
Promise me beer and you can catch many glimpses.
But back on the friends thing... what is lacking, clearly, is sexual tension. Ahem, meet when you are both horny, how hard is that? Ok, ok, it's hard if you don't yearn for the Other Person. Damn, that is the whole trouble... as part of attraction - there seems to be a component of unattainability.
which of course skews in weird directions, as the apparent attainable might be the best for you.
Heh.
I think the friends comment, if serious, sounds a bit desperate. Saying you "want to fall in love with them?" Don't depend on falling in love to make you happy.
(I thought once about hitting on a good friend of mine. There was definitely some sexual tension, she's good looking, and a great person. But I didn't want to f'k up the friendship, so I left things the way they were. Looking back it was the right move).
If it's really a good friend of yours and you don't feel anything going on physically, the whole thing is going to be forced.
nono, wasn't serious. just thought it would be handy, if you could just pick who to fall in love with. well, and make that reciprocal, yes.
kickycan wrote:My problem is that I don't want to date anybody. I want to go straight to the part where you are living together, watching TV and doing mundane crap together every night, and happily bored.
In a way that sounds so good. The worst part about dating is going through the weeding process, just finding someone you would even consider moving in with is difficult.
How about a variation, live with each other on the weekends, I actually did this, it's quite nice. You get to play house for a coulple of day's, then you get your space back M-F. I liked it.
Just when I was starting to get over my ex (if you remember I severed all contact with him in June) he has started emailing and messaging me again...
<GROAN> I am not interested in his dating life, his problems, his work. in him period - but he is going through counselling and he claims things are looking up - and I don't want to be the one to send him into a downward spiral again by again breaking off all contacts - so I just have to frown and bear it...
Damn him - I think I am off relationships for the rest of my life - too much trouble
Gautam wrote:Just when I was starting to get over my ex (if you remember I severed all contact with him in June) he has started emailing and messaging me again...
When someone starts contacting and e-mailing after they have been let go, what they are doing is almost like a form of emotional blackmail. Didn't your heart race a little when you saw his name on the e-mail? It isn't fair.
Gautam
I had a guy friend that was gay and he was the most handsome man I have EVER met! 6'1" He looked like a cross between Cary Grant and Rock Hudson, he had the best personality of any man I have ever met, he was unbelieveably funny, quick-witted and caring everyone loved him. If I was a gay male I wouldn't be able to rest until I had him. He lives a sane lifestyle. He moved to Florida 2 years ago and I've lost touch.
