grrr, another venting moment. the silly ex has managed to catch me off-guard again. just got back home, doing my usual last round through my numerous email boxes, and found a new one from him. lengthy email about nothing whatsoever, as is his good habbit - about him, the garden (my garden), the cat, laced with expressions we used when we were together... not bad, i am used to that all. but, at the end he attaches a picture. picture of me, from last year, from the goodest times. it's a funny picture where i'm leaning against the brand new counter in our brand new kitchen, with my behind being the focus, and there is a clearly visible wet imprint of E's hand on my skirt. He had that picture displayed on his desk forever, loved it. What the heck, why does he send it to me?! i know i know i know, i can see the replies coming, but it frustrates the hell out of me. worse, makes me utterly sad, it is an eternal two steps forward, one step back. if not three. did i tell him to stop? of course not, call me a masochist, but there is something beautiful to it. i am pissed of and happy at the same time, if that makes any sense at all. i guess it's for the best that he will leave the town in june. ok, bedtime. after all, who needs men? i can fix my own car and am better with a chainsaw and hammer and such then many men i know. grrrrrrrrrr.
Good Women, even when justifiably exasperated, consider romantics an endangered species and in need of protection.
Been there & done that, Noddy!
Looking back, I think it's just part of the process of disconnecting. Stage 2, maybe? :wink:
Have you thought of asking him WTF he's thinking?
He might not even know what he's thinking, littlek. (I speak from experience. :wink: )
He probably doesn't. Sigh.
i know he doesn't. i know he feels lonely (we have friends in common), especially since he now knows (through them, i am sure), that i am dating S. Not sure how much he knows, but I'm sure he knows something. And I, being I, feel for him, I know him so well, he doesn't take loneliness well, but dang, that was part of the problem to begin with. He always sought happiness outside of himself, say, in a relationship, or work. Not good. I am hoping he will at least learn something now, learn to be happy in and of himself. I did. It's the best thing since the discovery of chocolate!
Boy, do I agree with you two on that!
This may sound odd, but you are learning early. I know you're mature, but to understand this is a big step in life, usually hard won, and many people don't get there.
My problem is that I don't want to date anybody. I want to go straight to the part where you are living together, watching TV and doing mundane crap together every night, and happily bored.
I think there should be a combo roommate/relationship company, where you look for someone who you think you might be attracted to, and then you just move in with them for a one-month trial period. All that phony pretense at the beginning would be gone within a week, and then you'd really see what you were getting. Of course you'd have to have an A-1, impeccable screening process though, so nobody ended up living with a psycho.
Aah well, just another crazy idea from Uncle Kicky.
Osso's right, Dasha.....
Kicky, I haven't had that level in a relationship for, er, about 14 years. And that idea about moving in for a trial month is insane.
I've yet to want to move in with anyone.
About as appealing as sour milk right now.
I know, the part about possibly getting stuck with some nut is a big negative, but you have to admit, you would really get to know the real person that way. Maybe it would be better as a reality show idea than a real matchmaking biz.
kicky, that is fantastic. that is precisely what i'd love. i hate dating, very much so. the mundane everyday things of a living together lifestyle sound ideal to me. it essentially worked out for me that way in the past ten years - long distance relationships tend to go that direction. dating is such hard work, so draining. eeek.
Finally someone who understands what I'm talking about! Thanks Dag, I knew I wasn't completely insane.
Ok, so after 3.5 weeks with a girl who is sweet, cute, etc, but not quite just right, you have to tell her you don't want to extend the trial period. Ouchies.
And, I believe Dasha is agreeing about the part where you skip dating and just get to the comfy part - I think that'd be a nice thing too.
hmm, i wonder if it would be so hard to organize. a separate section in craigslist perhaps? a trial live-in boyfriend? one day, when i'll have the luxury of sleeping more than 5 hours per night and a spare hour or two on my hands, i'll figure out the way. there must be thousands of us, i tell you.
