nah, george, they are way too good. i'd rather spare those frozen bagles i have in the freezer, they could probably do more damage, too. still don't understand why they came note-less. just a drop-off, boom. sent an email sayng "umm, thank you...and how are you doing?" but no response. oh well, i rest my case. somebody try telling me again that it' s the wimmin who are complicated and difficult to understand!
oh, on monday there was a talk at the foundation - it stretched until late, then i went for a quick drink with a certain brazillian, S and and, well here i am now, STILL trying to finish the <%^&**^%> article on Sudan.
He just didn't know what to say, dag.
dagmaraka wrote:...somebody try telling me again that it' s the wimmin who are complicated and difficult to understand!
OK, I'll oblige:
"You ladies are complicated and difficult to understand."
We males only seem so when you females interpret our stupidity for subtlety.
<ehem, I spoke with my sister, you can come to lunch at her work if ya want to.>
yep, the lunch was fun, we should do it again soon!
well, i have one question: WHY ME?! there are four men looming on the horizon right now, and the only one i am interested in, S, is here for a few months only and does not seem to seek any serious relationship whatsoever. The second one was brushed off politely, but resolutely, a mathematician with a PhD and poetic inclinations. The third, the old E, keeps writing almost every day as if we never split up, thus making it harder for me to move on and stop thinking about him and missing him. I'm sure that suits him well, too.
The fourth, A, is a problem. He is also a fellow at the foundation i work at, like S. Since we keep things to ourselves with S, other fellows don't know that we go out. A apparently likes me. A lot. He is married though and his wife and kids are wonderful. We went for coffee once, I didn't think much of it, because that is quite a normal thing, but he kept telling me how beautiful I am and smart and all. So I am growing a bit nervous in his presence, but since he never made a direct pass, it is hard to bring it up and set him back. Besides, he is extremely polite and intelligent, not a jerk in any stretch of imagination. I am at work today and he stopped by, seeing my car, and wants to get a drink in the evening. I just don't know what to think, maybe I am imagining his attraction to me. I can only pretend to be busy, but that won't work forever. I worry too much, I always did, I should just be more selfish and not care about his feelings- just stop him when he actually says or does something, but I am not wired that way. It makes me nervous and uncomfortable and restless. Why can't they just leave me alone?! If I ever didn't have time for things like these, it's right now - having two part time jobs, and a dissertation to finish, applications for grants to send and talks to prepare for. Arrrrgh, does it ever end?! (and, what do I do about A?)
Develop a great interest in A's wife and kids--and ask about them on every possible occasion. This announces that you are a warm hearted woman interested in the lives of your colleagues--but not in having an adulterous romance.
sounds good, noddy. i DO have a great interest in her and the kids, they are all superb human beings, all 4 of them. he's a clever man, hopefully he will get the message right away. then again, i don't think he would even try anything, i must just set the limits in conversation so that I don't feel uncomfortable around him.
An abiding interested in every goal of every soccer game will serve you well. Also Christmas is coming and you are terribly interested in children's gifts--also spousal exchanges!
but i still shouldn't go with him for a drink alone, right?
"Oooooh, grandmother, what big eyes you have!" Remember what happened to Little Red Riding Hood?
Very few women lose their judgment in well-lit, places among coworkers.
You're still vulnerable from your break-up--but you can out think yourself.
i think i'll still tell him i'm too busy tonight. fellows all live around here, if someone saw us - don't want to create gossip and potentialy hurt someone or myself in the process.
dagmaraka wrote:... The third, the old E, keeps writing almost every day as if we never split up, thus making it harder for me to move on and stop thinking about him and missing him. I'm sure that suits him well, too.
Have you asked him to stop, dag, for a time at least? It DOES make it harder to move on. I had the same thing happen after my big split & despite my quaint ideas of the possibility of a friendship, it just delayed the separation process ... A great deal. The reality is, he's still on the scene.
I didn't. I should. But I suppose I don't really want to - part of the problem, ain't it. One of these days I'll ask him to bugger off, I swear!
I can relate, dag ... boy, can I relate! (to my regret ... A lot of precious time wasted!
)
But, but, but... yeah, you're right. It is a waste of time.
But you don't know that until well AFTER it's REALLY finished, Dag. In the meantime .....
Don't fret about doing the "correct" thing, dag .... It will all fit into place in good time.
E. is using you as a crutch--he's not getting on with his life, but he's really not adding much to yours, either. Still, you're used to that relationship.
yup, he doesn't want to be with me right now, but he doesn't want me to go away either - he always does that, grrrr.
