Was I assaulted?

@Germlat,

That's your 'second brain' working right there.

All this to say that a man can feel for, say, religious or other reasons that he must NOT do it, and still be able to 'get it up', and still enjoy the finale (or not) when coerced into doing it. We're complicated too, you know?

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@chai2,

Thank you, exactly like that.

That silken, sad and uncertain feeling

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@Germlat,

Sorry I offended you, but you can't tell me that your husband agreed that he couldn't maintain an erection under certain conditions, and expect me not to do anything with it.

Sorry again, but it's best not to feed me any more lines like that.

1 Reply

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/06/cierra-ross-charged-raping-man_n_3882608.html

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/09/living/chris-brown-female-on-male-rape/

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Travis, this article will help you understand some of the emotions you are feeling and at the end has some links to places you may feel more comfortable talking about how you are feeling and where you can get additional help.

http://www.brown.edu/Student_Services/Health_Services/Health_Education/sexual_assault_&_dating_violence/male_survivors.php

Here is another one

http://www.hopeforhealing.org/male.html

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@izzythepush,

Quote:

Sorry again, but it's best not to feed me any more lines like that.

Nobody is feeding you these lines, Izzy. You are feeding them to yourself. What's wrong with you? If you can't talk about penises without cracking nervous jokes about flaccidity, just don't talk about penises.

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@Travis20,

Quote:

I'll literally accept anything you want to call me, wimp, idiot, whatever. But please don't call me a liar :'(

You're not a wimp. Nobody should be forced to have sex. I think we all agree on that. Some ladies here are under the (false) impression that young men = young bononos, who'd put their reproductive organ into whichever other organ as soon as they get a chance. That's because all they know is OLDER men, who ARE like bonobos.

Now, if I play the devil's advocate (a risqué role I like to play whatever the topic), I can understand why someone could do what she did, with good intentions. She MIGHT have thought that you were irrationally anxious about it, that if you'd taste it, you would love it... Like a child afraid of water sometimes just needs to be thrown in the pool a few times to discover it can be fun to play with other kids in the pool.

Or am I being a rape apologist here? My apologies to those who think life is simple, with goodies and baddies, sherifs and indians and all.

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@Olivier5,

Nothing nervous about it matey.

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@Olivier5,

Olivier5 wrote:

What's wrong with you?

A lot of people have asked that question.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

izzythepush wrote:

Olivier5 wrote:
What's wrong with you?

A lot of people have asked that question.

I bet...

Maybe it's your French side trying to come out.

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@Olivier5,

I don't think so.

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@Travis20,

Travis20 wrote:

And omg if I have to graphicly explain my erection...I told you guys she "grabbed" me before she got ontop. So I already had it. Usually we just stop after 2nd base and sleep, so I wasn't really expecting it to go further. I'll literally accept anything you want to call me, wimp, idiot, whatever. But please don't call me a liar :'(

I didn't call you a wimp or an idiot. My appraisal of the post was based on the timing of the thread, given the recent activity concerning certain topics. I thought it was simply another hypothetical situation. I seriously thought it was simply posters exploring topics. Olivier actually was the one that made a comment that made me think that perhaps it wasn't hypothetical. I apologize. If you read back on my firsts posts, you'll see I'm being sincere .

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@Germlat,

Germlat wrote:

Yes that's because we release certain chemicals after climax that impact bonding.

I guess there are those that don't know Oxytocin is a powerful hormone....

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As I understand the situation, they have been doing heavy petting for a some time now. He said they have often gone to "second base" with each other. They were messing around that night; that is why he had the erection.

She overpowered him and she made moves that led to intercourse. She made it happen. It sounds like she even held him down.

He said there has always been the agreement that they wouldn't "have sex" i.e. intercourse. So he thinks he has lost his virginity, hence, the emotional reaction.

If he turned her on with the petting, then he should have taken care of business - i.e. gotten her to orgasm. He turned over to sleep, but she was not done. Some people might say he created the situation; others say he was forced into intercourse.

Bottom line is that he didn't go into it willingly. So he feels violated.

Was he raped? Only he can assert that. If he feels that way, he should report her to the police.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

To the police, really? That's the best you can advise? I guess he can do that if he doesn't mind:

- Being laughed at by the cops and at school;
- Causing his girlfriend great pain, shame and perhaps even jail time; and
- Not getting another GF for a very long time...

I say this kids need to come to terms with his own sexuality. Did he enjoy it, at the end? Does he think he was missing on something good? Or is he still reluctant to 'do it' now for some reason? If the former, he should rather thank his GF for breaking his resistance than go to the cop. If the latter, drop the GF and find another, more desirable object of romantic attention, or just opt for chastity.

1 Reply

Well first of all I do not buy into this story and if I did I would think this is likely similar to a female who wish to have sex but have strong morals/religions barriers to allowing sexual intercourse to occur.

So she set up a situation such as getting high and getting into a bed with a man where she can have sex and afterward still claimed her sexual morals are intact as she was a victim of a rape not a welling sexual act.

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@Olivier5,

What happens if prolonged desire never ends in sex? Is it bad for the health?

1 Reply

Assuming this is legit, and I won't doubt it since the OP insists it is, then I believe it was rape. After all, if the roles were exactly reversed, I can guarantee you that this thread would be full of women claiming it was rape and letting the OP know that charges should be filed. (And I would agree.)

So yeah, you were assaulted. So now the ball is in your court. Personally, if you don't at least dump her you are nuts and I would have a bit more trouble believing your story.

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@Olivier5,

Olivier5 wrote:

To the police, really? That's the best you can advise? I guess he can do that if he doesn't mind:

- Being laughed at by the cops and at school;
- Causing his girlfriend great pain, shame and perhaps even jail time; and
- Not getting another GF for a very long time...

I say this kids need to come to terms with his own sexuality. Did he enjoy it, at the end? Does he think he was missing on something good? Or is he still reluctant to 'do it' now for some reason? If the former, he should rather thank his GF for breaking his resistance than go to the cop. If the latter, drop the GF and find another, more desirable object of romantic attention, or just opt for chastity.

Now that I was finally able to close my dropped jaw, I can post a reply.

Reverse the above and reverse the male and female pronouns and see what an appalling post this is.

It has to go in the top 10 sexist, doubled standard employing, and downright ignorant, harmful and soul sucking posts of all times.

1 Reply

@chai2,

What double standard? I would say the same if he was a girl. Yes, being forced to sex is rape, but no, it does not need to systematically end up in front of a judge. Those 14 YEARS OLD kids were sleeping together and necking and all, and the girl tried something she should not have tried. Does that deserve jail time? Not in my book. Does the law need to know? Why? If there was an epidemic of female rapes on men, it would serve a purpose, but we're not there yet.

Look, you and I are old farts... We've made our mistakes, we've done ****, some of which illegal, some of which I'm rather proud of... Allow kids to mess up a bit, and stop ruining their lives with your stupid legal advice. Cops have more important things to do, too. Imagine if this girl was your daughter. What would be your advice: "go to the cop and denounce yourself", or "go to your BF and apologize for something you should not have done"?

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Was I assaulted?

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