@Olivier5,
Olivier5 wrote:
Quote:Women are also wives, sisters, daughters and mothers to men. We also have your interests at heart.
That does not follow. Men are also husbands, brothers, sons and fathers to women, so men have women's interests at heart?
What does not follow? Justice doesn't follow logic? In my case it does. That's all I can contribute. I would never want my son, husband or father being judged under such "grey" conditions....that's just me though.
@BillRM,
BillRM wrote:
Quote:Since my wife and I implemented the rule that there should be formal consent at each and every step in the progression towards penetration, we haven't made love anymore
LOL
Wow!!! I've read of people like that...sort of like carnies, the bearded woman etc...never imagined they're truly out there....sort of speak.
@BillRM,
I guess she liked the idea that I wanted it more than she did. Who doesn't like to be desired? Also she hates admitting her own desires.
So for over two decades we had the best of sex without saying a word. The moment we started talking about it, all sorts of interesting ideas came into play about equality and not making it for the sake of habit or because ONE of us wants it but not the other... As a result, I used to **** my wife to make her happy, but now I don't bother anymore. Let her ask if she wants it...
@Olivier5,
Olivier5 wrote:
I guess she liked the idea that I wanted it more than she did. Who doesn't like to be desired? Also she hates admitting her own desires.
So for over two decades we had the best of sex without saying a word. The moment we started talking about it, all sorts of interesting ideas came into play about equality and not making it for the sake of habit or because ONE of us wants it but not the other... As a result, I used to **** my wife to make her happy, but now I don't bother anymore. Let her ask if she wants it...
Then...stop talking about it and go native on her! ; ). ...also--- you say you used to f&$k her to make her happy...that should've cued you in. You've gotta get something in return....did you not get your props?
@Olivier5,
Meaning: not planned...completely instinctual
@Germlat,
That used to be our way and it worked fine. Verbalization killed it.
@Olivier5,
Planned intercourse is most boring...no matter what she says!!!
@Olivier5,
Olivier5 wrote:
That used to be our way and it worked fine. Verbalization killed it.
Don't be so passive ...try to get it back. Don't be afraid to tell her about what you've noticed has happened.
@Germlat,
Couldn't agree more. Who cooked up this ridiculous idea to ask for conscious, deliberate authorization at every step, again? A Puritan or something?
@Olivier5,
Olivier5 wrote:
I guess she liked the idea that I wanted it more than she did. Who doesn't like to be desired? Also she hates admitting her own desires.
So for over two decades we had the best of sex without saying a word. The moment we started talking about it, all sorts of interesting ideas came into play about equality and not making it for the sake of habit or because ONE of us wants it but not the other... As a result, I used to **** my wife to make her happy, but now I don't bother anymore. Let her ask if she wants it...
Also--at least half my girlfriends report they want more sex than their husbands....I wonder if it's a power play of the sexes. Some are tired of the: I know you love me and I know I've got you deal? I also know many who have
fooled around in anger....
@Germlat,
I'm not that eager to get the sex back. One reason is that I was not actually deriving much pleasure from it. It's been boring for quite some time. Sometimes even physically painful for me... So I'm cool without it. If she needs to fool around, let it be. I'll try it too, if I must.
@Olivier5,
Olivier5 wrote:
I'm not that eager to get the sex back. One reason is that I was not actually deriving much pleasure from it. It's been boring for quite some time. Sometimes even physically painful for me... So I'm cool without it. If she needs to fool around, let it be. I'll try it too, if I must.
. Perhaps you hadn't been that honest for long...maybe she hasn't either. It happens...both bored...both pretending .
@Germlat,
Yeah, maybe... You're right that it was also a power play and that was the most aggravating aspect of it. I dream of sex where both partners would be at it because... hey, they both want it!
The reason I posted this here is that I truly think that most women will lose big time from having to get rid of their ambiguity and come crystal clear about whether they want it or not. Seems to me that the girl who started this thread wanted to get laid, and even that she wanted to be technically "raped"
in the sense that she wanted it but did not want to admit to wanting it.
@Olivier5,
Bipolarity is a normal attraction between the sexes and always will be. You have to be a stronghold enough to weather your own insecurities....some never can do it .... Female/male...it's tough competition right? Someone always willing to give... Don't let go of someone who's dear to you so easily.....
@Germlat,
I'm not short-selling anything. We've been together for 23 years. This is a very very sad realization for me to come to, but I'm tired of being treated as the sex maniac in the couple, when in fact I couldn't care less and am only trying to help...
There are legal implications too. My left hand will never go to the cops to file a rape complaint.
I have to go back and reread the thread as I'm fluctuating on what I think (no matter what I said if I posted). I've also fluctuated on the Yes thing, saying on another thread that I don't like it, preferring No means No, then reading something on the university application of it and the particulars and starting to understand it, and then, sometime later, going back to fuggedit, I prefer No means No.
That'll take a while for me to reread since I need to get out in the yard and weed, so later.
Next, on the matter of asking in marriage, aaaack! Partner can say no, and to me, should say no if that is the partner's feeling. But to always politely ask? Killer to romance.
@ossobuco,
Romance is dead anyway. It's a commercial for chocolates now.
