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Was I Raped?

 
 
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 09:40 am
One night I was drinking quite a bit in my house with my sister and boyfriend present. My sister particapeated but, my boyfriend however, did not, it's not his thing. We were all in my sister room but after I felt I had a little to much I called it a night and went to my room knowing in my mind my boyfriend would eventually follow. After a few he came in my room I was laying on the bed and he left the door open he came and lied down beside me and tried talking with me but I was zoning in and out. While we were laying down he started touching me in between my legs but my eyes were close so I guess he figured I was knock out but I could feel him. He then got up went out my room came back and closed the door. I knew everything that was going on with my eyes close but I wasn't being responsive. I guess I want to see how far it'd play out. He unzipped his pants, grabed my hand and placed it on his penis and used his hands as guide for my hand to rub him but my body was being barely responsive to that. He stopped that pulled off my pants and tried giving me oral and using a vibrator he had got me for my birthday that was on my bed. i felt that and kinda jerked but still didnt open my eyes. After that it happen so quick he pulled my panty off and he was in me I felt it and woke up and told him stop but kinda nodded off again and he did it again but when I woke up from it a second time and he stop he told me do you want me to finish I didn't respond. So then he just grabbed a blanket put it over me, left my room and told my sister he was leaving, he came back in my room only by the door and told me he loved me and left. After about 20 minutes he text me & told me he was home I didn't text him back. I got up half naked and put on my pjs and tried going back to sleep but end up having a bad headache and couldn't stop thinking what had happen. The next day I text him and told him I woke up half naked what happened? He told me I wanted to try out my vibrator he had brought for my birthday and that he put it in a little bit but that was it. He was lying to me because I remember everything I wasn't knocked out Iike he had suspected I was just lighted headed from the drinking and was sleepy. I told him okay though and that was the end of that. I'm not sure if I could call this rape because he thought I was knocked put but I wasn't. I feel as though i had in someway consented in my mind because I could feel everything he was doing to me but only was responsive enough to stop him when I felt he went inside of me. I feel I was in the wrong because even though I was drinking I still somehow was aware what was taking place and didnt stop it soon enough. Was I consenting by not letting it stop sooner then it should have if I was capable of doing so although, my boyfriend didn't realize that. I feel nasty for allowing this it to transpire like in some subconscious way I was asking for it as if its what I wanted. It's humilating to say the lest I should of stop him. Was this rape?
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Type: Question • Score: 13 • Views: 7,843 • Replies: 235

 
Frank Apisa
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 09:44 am
@Cupcupcake ,
Not rape...but you did take advantage of him.

I understand you feel sorry about it now...and want to deflect the blame onto him...but you would be better off acknowledging that you were the problem in that scenario...and you should also apologize to your boyfriend for what you did.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 10:59 am
@Frank Apisa,
Where are you getting the idea that this wasn't rape?

No consent was provided. Penetration was achieved while the guy thought she was passed out.
Frank Apisa
 
  0  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 11:41 am
@jespah,
jespah wrote:

Where are you getting the idea that this wasn't rape?

No consent was provided. Penetration was achieved while the guy thought she was passed out.


Gimme a break, Jespah.

This kind of crap is why so many guys join the bandwagon recently expressed here about men being entrapped.

If this actually is a woman (it may be nothing but a joke)...SHE WAS NOT RAPED.

I have suggested that anything but a DEFINITE YES...is a no. But that is advise for the men.

If a woman WANTS to be ambiguous and give a tacit "yes"...and is willing to play the absurd game this supposed woman played...

...she assumes responsibility for what occurs.

She was not raped...and anyone who thinks she was ought to get a head examination.


jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 11:44 am
@Frank Apisa,
The presumption was that she was unconscious. I don't give a damn about explicit consent (I find it kinda silly). But when you **** someone who is asleep or too drunk to object (or you think they are), then your intention is to rape them.

I'm outta here. I got better things to do than to argue this.
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 11:47 am
I got a feeling this is a homework assignment.
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 11:47 am
@jespah,
jespah wrote:

The presumption was that she was unconscious.


SHE WAS NOT UNCONSCIOUS. SHE SAYS SO.



Quote:
I don't give a damn about explicit consent (I find it kinda silly). But when you **** someone who is asleep or too drunk to object (or you think they are), then your intention is to rape them.


The question is not about intent, Jespah.


Quote:

I'm outta here. I got better things to do than to argue this.


Great news!
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  3  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 12:02 pm
@Cupcupcake ,
Quote:
After that it happen so quick he pulled my panty off and he was in me I felt it and woke up and told him stop but kinda nodded off again and he did it again but when I woke up from it a second time and he stop he told me do you want me to finish I didn't respond.



First time is iffy, second time after you had said stop, was not consentual. He finally got the message and left.


I have to ask, though, why do you play these head games with him?

Quote:
I guess I want to see how far it'd play out.


0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 01:04 pm
@Frank Apisa,
Frank Apisa wrote:

Not rape...but you did take advantage of him.

I understand you feel sorry about it now...and want to deflect the blame onto him...but you would be better off acknowledging that you were the problem in that scenario...and you should also apologize to your boyfriend for what you did.



Maybe you read again what you wrote, Frank! You said .....but you didtake advantage of him ...and apologize to the boyfriend?

That's more than absurd. Plus - anytime a girl/woman is this intoxicated, she is incapable of giving consent. You better stay out of threads like this where you give the worst advice there is. I realize that at your age and in your youth things were quite different, but this is now and today - and it was rape!

Again, it was rape, despite he being her boyfriend!
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 01:41 pm
@CalamityJane,
CalamityJane wrote:

Frank Apisa wrote:

Not rape...but you did take advantage of him.

I understand you feel sorry about it now...and want to deflect the blame onto him...but you would be better off acknowledging that you were the problem in that scenario...and you should also apologize to your boyfriend for what you did.



Maybe you read again what you wrote, Frank! You said .....but you didtake advantage of him ...and apologize to the boyfriend?

That's more than absurd. Plus - anytime a girl/woman is this intoxicated, she is incapable of giving consent. You better stay out of threads like this where you give the worst advice there is. I realize that at your age and in your youth things were quite different, but this is now and today - and it was rape!

Again, it was rape, despite he being her boyfriend!


This was NOT rape...and anyone considering it to be rape ought to have a mental exam.

My other comments were meant to be sarcastic...sorry you were able to see that.
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  4  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 01:52 pm
@CalamityJane,
CJ, this, and all the other rape threads on A2K illustrate the fact that most men don't understand what rape is.

I have difficulty allocating my time to educating guys who believe there's an element of ownership to being a boyfriend.
So I don't debate this stuff anymore.
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 01:56 pm
@panzade,
panzade wrote:

CJ, this, and all the other rape threads on A2K illustrate the fact that most men don't understand what rape is.

I have difficulty allocating my time to educating guys who believe there's an element of ownership to being a boyfriend.
So I don't debate this stuff anymore.


Why don't you, Jespah, and Jane advise this person to go to the police and file a rape charge against this young man...so that he can be thrown in prison for this terrible offense.

If you do not...you are all nothing but a bunch of hypocrites.

I would imagine people like you three would love to see the young man spend ten or fifteen years in prison for what he did!

CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 02:36 pm
@Frank Apisa,
You are just an ass, Frank!

First of all, who the hell are you to say it was no rape, if the law clearly defines it otherwise. Go and educate yourself, you Dodo!

Second, no one - neither jespah or myself, have told the girl to go to the police - you are, as usual, more hysterical than an old lady. Just stay out of these threads. You're behaving like a misogynist !
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 02:40 pm
@CalamityJane,
Here is the definition of law:

Rape is a type of sexual assault initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, or where the person is under threat or manipulation, or with a person who is incapable of valid consent.[
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 02:42 pm
@panzade,
Panzade, it is a very thin line in many cases, but when in doubt - the answer is always NO!
BillRM
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 03:05 pm
@panzade,
If he have a long term sexual relation with her then there can be assume a standing permission to have sex with her unless it had been revoke.

Now according to her she did revoked the permission to have sex but given that she was playing games with him at the time they both are idiots and to hell with her and him.

0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 03:09 pm
I don't get this statement:

" I knew everything that was going on with my eyes close but I wasn't being responsive. I guess I want to see how far it'd play out."

BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 03:12 pm
@CalamityJane,
Quote:
or with a person who is incapable of valid consent.[


So long term lovers including husbands and wives need non-alcohol/drug consent in order for the sex not to be rape??????

Sorry there are situations where the consent is ongoing unless it been revoke.

BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 03:13 pm
@PUNKEY,
Quote:
my eyes close but I wasn't being responsive. I guess I want to see how far it'd play out."


Then you could have told him no at any point IE you was playing games with the man.....shame on you.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  3  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 03:19 pm
@BillRM,
You can talk all you want, the law is clearly defined.

Yes, many, many husbands have raped their wives and it is against the law. No surprise here that you don't understand this at all, BillRM.
 

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