Was I Raped?

@BillRM,

BillRM wrote:

Quote:
Impairment is a concern when it's obvious

Wrong as long as the impairment is from a voluntary actions of the person impaired it would not matter.

If I in my younger days I have gone out with a good looking young lady and in a state of sexual hope and driven by a lot of alcohol I max out my credit card on a twenty thousands dollars piece of jewel for the young lady it would be hers no matter how under the influence I happen to had been.

Adults except for women consenting to sex, the state of your blood alcohol does not matter as you are still responsible for your own actions.

Impairment doesn't give anyone the right to proceed when asked to not do so. Did you at any point withdraw the offer before surrendering completely? If you did, she stole from you. Yeah maybe you were a dumb ass...but--she was a thief.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Quote:

Adults except for women consenting to sex, the state of your blood alcohol does not matter as you are still responsible for your own actions.

What about these women?

Quote:

Women And Prescription Drugs: One In Four Takes Mental Health Meds

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/16/women-and-prescription-drug-use_n_1098023.html

What is the states plan here, to outlaw the majority of women from consenting to sex on the grounds that their brains are not Ivory pure? By the time you add up all those who are not of their right minds by way of drugs legal and illegal the number of fish in the sea is greatly diminished.

1 Reply

@Frank Apisa,

Quote:

Firefly, if you...or any of the other people who think this was a case of rape...really do think that...

I've said repeatedly I don't think the OP describes a case of rape. Go back and read my posts.

.

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@hawkeye10,

Quote:

By the time you add up all those who are not of their right minds by way of drugs legal and illegal the number of fish in the sea is greatly diminished.

We all will need to move to Utah and joined the Mormon church as far as alcohol in concern or we date only Scientologists as far as mentally effecting drugs are concern.

The problem is that I could live without alcohol and wear magical underwear but I need my morning cup of coffee.

An as far as scientology is concern I hate bad science fiction such as what that cult is base on.

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@Germlat,

Quote:

Impairment doesn't give anyone the right to proceed when asked to not do so

Yes a high stake game of Simon said should be a reason to send someone to prison when the woman in question just desire to see what would happen by playing that game with her boyfriend.

Quote:

I knew everything that was going on with my eyes close but I wasn't being responsive. I guess I want to see how far it'd play out.

when I woke up from it a second time and he stop he told me do you want me to finish I didn't respond

Women should have at least a moral obligation not to play games with the issue of consent one way or another and a legal obligation also would be nice.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Quote:

Women should have at least a moral obligation not to play games with the issue of consent one way or another and a legal obligation also would be nice.

I dont have a problem with those games at all, those games are a lot of fun, what I do have a problem with is the state criminalizing men for those games, even when it is only the one with the pussy (see, I for go my preferred word) who is playing them.

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@hawkeye10,

Quote:

I dont have a problem with those games at all, those games are a lot of fun

Yes we know about you Hawkeye<grin> but this was not a game set up ahead of time with safe words and so on.

The drunk woman/girl was winging it with no warning ahead of time to her boyfriend of her plans and then having the nerve to ask on this site if she had been rape or not.

Now as far as your situation I am sure that some of the people on this website would consider the games you and your wife and other female partners play would be enough to have the women seized and placed into involuntary treatment programs and you placed behind bars.

The women being victims of past traumas that you are taking advantage of.

The fact that a large percent of all women have rape fantasies is beside the point to these people as only sick women would wish to have those kinds of encounters as far as they are concern.

We have the sex police once more gaining power in the private sexual relationships of men and women however this time not in the name of religion but in the name of females victimization.

Telling us in detail the steps that need to be taken in our love making in our own bedrooms to keep us safe from them charging us with crimes.

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@Cupcupcake ,

To everyone who responded, thank you. Some of the critisim was hard to bare but I was just looking for some clarity and think through this discussion it was accomplished. I'm grateful to you guys because I was too ashamed to come to anyone I knew with this. But I just want to clear up that I did not take that night as a game. It was my boyfriend birthday (his is January 28 & mines is the 26th) and for mines which was two days before his, he brought me a vibrator. He's my first official boyfriend and the only person I've ever been intimate with. I knew he wanted to use it on me but I just was still new to everything and thought drinking and closing my eyes would help me get over that initial reaction. But i feel bad that I could of stopped him and didnt. I don't wish to report any case on him. I love him, we're still together today stronger then before and I choose not to part take in any drinking anymore to avoid any possible excuses. Im not condemning him because he wasnt aware but please dont condemn me. We all make mistakes sometimes, that are painfully shameful, but, life is about growing and learning from them and that's what I'm doing.

Matthew 7:1-5 - Jesus says judge (condemn) not that you be not judged (condemned).

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@Cupcupcake ,

Quote:

But i feel bad that I could of stopped him and didnt.

If you have had the power to had stop him then it is surely not rape. The word rape should never be used lightly.

I would also strongly suggest more communication with your lover and far far less drinking by both of you repeat both of you when having sexual intercourse.

You once more need to talk to him about this matter and your feelings over what had occur that night.

Take care.

1 Reply

@Cupcupcake ,

Footnote If you do talk to your boyfriend over the happening that night when you was both drunk I suggest not using the word rape in the discussion.

If you do so you are very likely to frightened him to the point of him ending the relationship.

Nor used that word in connection with him to anyone else.

Rape rightly so is a powerful word/concept that can harm any male it is used on.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

That night Is behind both of us so i see no need to bring it up to him. And we were not both drunk as I said it's not his thing so he didn't have not one drink that night. I will not frighten him as I said our relationship is a more healthier one now.

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@BillRM,

When I say I didn't stop him i referring to when he was touching me. I could feel that but I did not stop him. However, when I felt he went inside of me it happen so quick it did grab me by surprise and I remember telling him to stop because of the pressure. And even though I was a little in & out he did it a second time when I had said stop the first time around and that's the part I was questioning. Thank you for your suggestion and as I said before he had not been drinking that night he doesn't like too but as of now neither do I. I'd feel more comfortable not bringing up the past to him, when are communication line about present tense things are so much more vocal and positive now.

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@Cupcupcake ,

Thanks for the follow-up.
I learned a lot from this thread.
I'll not be so strident in the future.
This is a complex subject without absolutes

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@Cupcupcake ,

Cupcupcake, I'm glad your relationship with your boyfriend is going well, and that communication between the two of you has improved.

I don't think you did anything shameful that night. As you just explained, you were simply inexperienced and a little anxious about moving into new territory sexually, so you thought drinking would help. Lots of people do that cupcupcake, but honest communication with your partner about what you are feeling is the better alternative, and you seem to have figured that out.

Good luck, I hope the love you and your boyfriend have for each other continues to thrive and grow even stronger.

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@CalamityJane,

"my eyes close but I wasn't being responsive. I guess I want to see how far it'd play out."

Why are you defending the original poster?

This sentence is somehow evading you because you choose emotion over evidence. It's like everyone on this god forsaken planet is always looking for a reason to lash out to compensate for all the things they've bottled up in their moments of negligence and fear throughout their petty life filled with secrets and scars.

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Looks to me like little "CupCake" has been in the oven, why too long. Time to jump out and get on with her life. By the way "Little CupCake", how's it feel being a new Mommy?

As they say in the far away hills, "Once too often usually hits the target"!

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