22
   

Question to married men who have anothe woman

 
 
Germlat
 
  3  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 04:11 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

izzythepush wrote:

Eliusa wrote:

You people can't even insult so person get it


Do you read a lot of Oscar Wilde?


I don't know if she does, but she sure does tipple a bit before posting.

She hasn't had sex in five YEARS ...I know I would be guzzling at that point, if that were the case....No wait....I'd be hateful as hell...ok, wait....that explains everything .
0 Replies
 
One Eyed Mind
 
  2  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 04:14 pm
@Germlat,
Actually, "not having sex" is not the issue - it's what people generally succumb to, when "not having sex", called "paranoia" and "everyone around me is doing it, so I must be a real scum for not doing it too", type of thinking that creates stress, not the absence of sex by all means.

Nikola Tesla never had sex or a relationship with a woman. The man was the most loving man - it's the people that think sex defines them that turn into hateful fucks (the irony).
Germlat
 
  2  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 04:28 pm
@One Eyed Mind,
One Eyed Mind wrote:

Actually, "not having sex" is not the issue - it's what people generally succumb to, when "not having sex", called "paranoia" and "everyone around me is doing it, so I must be a real scum for not doing it too", type of thinking that creates stress, not the absence of sex by all means.

Nikola Tesla never had sex or a relationship with a woman. The man was the most loving man - it's the people that think sex defines them that turn into hateful fucks (the irony).

There was a time when admitting to having "relations" with a man was a bad thing. There were many a bachelor with dear " nephews". Negating ones desires can prove to be disastrous ...just look at the case of nuns and priests.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  5  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 04:35 pm
@One Eyed Mind,
One Eyed Mind wrote:

Actually, "not having sex" is not the issue - it's what people generally succumb to, when "not having sex", called "paranoia" and "everyone around me is doing it, so I must be a real scum for not doing it too", type of thinking that creates stress, not the absence of sex by all means.

Nikola Tesla never had sex or a relationship with a woman. The man was the most loving man - it's the people that think sex defines them that turn into hateful fucks (the irony).


Hol-ee ****!

One Eye, believe it or not, after all the thumbs down you get from everyone, I gave you a big thumbs up.

You hit a few nails right on the head.

Now, I don't even try to engage this Elisua person anymore, and I sure don't read a lot of what she says, as it's repetitious.

However, what has always stood out to me is this resentment towards women. Directly telling women they have no idea what good sex is, that if you don't want to have sex with someone else somethings wrong, statements about our attractiveness, whether we've ever even had sex or good sex, or been seduced, etc etc.

It's all about sex sex sex, over and over and over.

I've wondered why a mature (meaning mentally and emotionally) woman would carry on so much about it. There's no way she can believe any of us other ladies aren't just dried up prunes, frigid and bitter. I guess she thinks she's got a birds eye view into our bedrooms, or wherever else we're making love. In the back of my mind, I keep wondering why in the world she thinks this way.

She's comparing everyone else to how she feels, or felt I guess, until recently.

Found Soul has yet another good point too. I feel there's an element of the fear of aging.

I'm 55, and my comfort with myself, my sensuality (not that it's anyone business) and just downright pleasure of being alive grows every month.

That's another point I'd like to make.....what someone else is doing in their own home is no ones business. Just because you don't talk about it doesn't mean nothings happening.
Germlat
 
  2  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 04:39 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

One Eyed Mind wrote:

Actually, "not having sex" is not the issue - it's what people generally succumb to, when "not having sex", called "paranoia" and "everyone around me is doing it, so I must be a real scum for not doing it too", type of thinking that creates stress, not the absence of sex by all means.

Nikola Tesla never had sex or a relationship with a woman. The man was the most loving man - it's the people that think sex defines them that turn into hateful fucks (the irony).


Hol-ee ****!

One Eye, believe it or not, after all the thumbs down you get from everyone, I
gave you a big thumbs up.

You hit a few nails right on the head.

Now, I don't even try to engage this Elisua person anymore, and I sure don't read a lot of what she says, as it's repetitious.

However, what has always stood out to me is this resentment towards women.
Directly telling women they have no idea what good sex is, that if you don't want to have sex with someone else somethings wrong, statements about our attractiveness, whether we've ever even had sex or good sex, or been seduced, etc etc.

It's all about sex sex sex, over and over and over.

I've wondered why a mature (meaning mentally and emotionally) woman would
carry on so much about it. There's no way she can believe any of us other ladies aren't just dried up prunes, frigid and bitter. I guess she thinks she's got a birds eye view into our bedrooms, or wherever else we're making love. In the back of my mind, I keep wondering why in the world she thinks this way.

She's comparing everyone else to how she feels, or felt I guess, until recently.

Found Soul has yet another good point too. I feel there's an element of the fear of aging.


I'm 55, and my comfort with myself, my sensuality (not that it's anyone business) and just downright pleasure of being alive grows every month.

That's another point I'd like to make.....what someone else is doing in their own home is no ones business. Just because you don't talk about it doesn't mean nothings happening.

Wow woman...you've got a handle on it!!
0 Replies
 
One Eyed Mind
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 05:36 pm
@chai2,
Well, Chai.

Normally, agreeing with someone is boring. I have to say, agreeing with someone who otherwise disagrees with you is very rewarding. I always enjoyed rare agreements over, "yeah, yes, oh yes I agree, oh baby yes!", like they are having a discourse intercourse.

But thank you Chai for being honest with yourself and speaking your mind on the deterioration of what sex is, as someone who admires sex on a cosmic level (male's spreading seed like the volcano and the star; female's absorbing seed like the soil and the black hole).

So even if I was down voted into oblivion - I care more about the idea than my image.
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 06:43 pm
@One Eyed Mind,
Well, my husband has no seed, and I have no fertile soil.

But I do appreciate what loving sex can do for a relationship, just as I can appreciate that purely recreational sex can be really good too.

The only part you got wrong was the part about me being honest with myself.

I'm always honest with myself, and anyone I know, here and IRL can tell you I speak my mind on a regular basis.
One Eyed Mind
 
  0  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 06:48 pm
@chai2,
If you have nightmares.

Random break downs.

Random emotional loss of control.

Live live on a personal level rather than a universal level.

I think it's safe to say that you may do well to be honest with yourself, but frankly the subconscious world is a damned world that makes us have to work to get back the parts of ourselves we've abandoned and repressed for whatever reason.

Not even I say "always honest" - I just say "I go where the consequences cease".
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 07:34 pm
@One Eyed Mind,
Not "even" you?

Well, I can.
One Eyed Mind
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 07:36 pm
@chai2,
By saying "Well, I can.", you are rationalizing the fact that you cannot say "Well, maybe you're right."
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2014 08:50 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
I thought that was insightful, found soul.

I haven't followed this thread all that closely so I may have details wrong.

I'm a lot older than a lot of the rest of you and live alone but I had years of various kinds of love and loss, and then marriage that was good for most of its run of over twenty years.

As I would say to my old self - figure out what you want.

Fifty? Finally ripening.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Sep, 2014 01:08 am
@One Eyed Mind,
One Eyed Mind wrote:

By saying "Well, I can.", you are rationalizing the fact that you cannot say "Well, maybe you're right."


because you're not.
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Wed 17 Sep, 2014 01:16 am
@ossobuco,
Quote:
As I would say to my old self - figure out what you want.


you and I should get on great, as that is the most predominant theme of my advice on the relationship threads. It is also a major theme of mine on raising kids, that my job as a parent is in large part to help my kids get what they want.

Explain to me again please why you dont like me.
One Eyed Mind
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Sep, 2014 04:37 pm
@chai2,
It's not a matter of if I think I am right.

It's a matter of you accepting the possibility that I am right.

To say, "I am always honest", is like saying "I never lie", when you do - you just don't consciously understand that you do. Ignorance, inevitable moments of blind spots, will cause you to lie.
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 18 Sep, 2014 08:21 am
I do think that most of you are bitter old wrinkly prunes. LOL
And I can relate to you sometime ago. I was one of you, so I know where you coming from but the thing is here you can't understand where I am coming from because I had been at your place and in your shoes and you had not been in mine.
So criticize all you want. I found a few people here who got hit by love at older age and we are perfectly understanding each other. This is why I do not really need to hear much from those who has no idea how can person's life change in a second when they least expected it.
I only return here to see if I can find someone else like me and share my point of view with them and make a friend-in-crime Wink

And for one of you who said what is happening in her bedroom is no one's business - spare me this crap please. No one is pulling your tong to talk about it. If you don't want - don't say anything. It is not mandatory. Unless you want to give people a hint that something in fact IS going on - then of course. Hint received.
Have a good life
Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Sep, 2014 08:42 am
@FOUND SOUL,
Found Soul, I had not read your post until now.
I appreciate it very much.
See, I can not even imagine leaving my husband. 20 years old habit is hard to break I guess. It is not happening. Not even remote possibility. It is like to tell your brother you are done being his sister. Impossible.
On the other side we are taking one day at the time. Getting to know each other. Not sexually, just emotionally. Still losing weight, looking awesome now. 'Brother' doesn't comment. Flame is losing his mind. However very quietly. Haven't done anything stupid yet. So there is long way to go.
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Thu 18 Sep, 2014 08:52 am
@Eliusa,
Eliusa wrote:
and you had not been in mine.


interesting belief you've got, but you're wrong

most of the posters I know in this thread have been in similar situations to yours - and chose to leave the relationships that were no longer working - and then went on to start new relationships

we chose to be honest
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Sep, 2014 08:53 am
You just haven't got a clue, do you?
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Sep, 2014 08:58 am
@ehBeth,
But she thinks if we don't go on and on about it, it didn't happen.

Talk about crap...comments like "tee hee (my words) how do we girls get into these messes?"

My, we're just so naughty, we need to tell everyone about it.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 18 Sep, 2014 09:01 am
@chai2,
My posts are not really for the OP - they're for other people who might find this thread at some point. Don't want them thinking all women/people are as selfish and deluded as the OP presents.
 

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