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Depression after night together

 
 
Reply Sat 16 Jul, 2016 05:30 pm
I am feeling at a loss so thought I would ask advice on here.

So a bit of back story, I first met him earlier this year, I knew he was married and he knew that I was in a long term relationship. I also knew the kind of person he was yet I did not stop him from perusing me, I encouraged it. For months we flirted over messages and a few times we arranged to meet but the timing was never great so it took up until last month until we finally met. He called me up one day to say that he had booked a room and that he expected to see me there, I spent a week in turmoil and tried to talk myself out of going but I knew that I had every intention of meeting him.

The day came, I met him in a hotel room during the day and proceeded to have the best sex I had ever had. Afterwards we left and he was going on holiday the next day with his wife and two children so I was not really expecting much contact with him over the week, even though I knew he was away, it was one of the longest weeks I have ever lived through, I felt as though I was going crazy and I could not go longer than a few minutes without thinking about him.

The day after he returned from holiday he text me and whilst it was just a message saying "Hey" I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders and I could breath again. He explained to me that he had been thinking about me and needed to see me again, I told him that I couldn't meet him again so soon but we would arrange something, he told me that he wanted to spend the entire night with me so I made up a story to tell my partner and booked a room for the following week. We met again in a hotel and if I thought our first time was amazing, the second time was unbelievable and I don't think I am alone in thinking this. We spent the entire night together but the next morning he felt a bit distant, being someone who does not like to look needy, I distanced myself from him and when he left he told me to message him later to say I had got to work ok, I never messaged him.

It has been 4 days and I have not heard a thing from him and I am going through sheer turmoil again. I can't even explain how I am feeling as I have never felt anything like this before, it is as though I am on the edge of a sinking depression and extreme happiness and it all comes down to if this person sends me a message or not.

I know what most if not all of you will be thinking about me and this situation, I am a foolish person who deserves any pain that may be felt due to my inability to be loyal to someone who has never shown me anything but pure love. I know this but when I think about this other person, who is quite clearly not a 'good person' and is using me for one thing, I do not care about anything but seeing him again.

I don't really know what the point of writing this out is, I just need to tell someone what I am going through as I don't know how much longer I can deal with this pain...any advice is welcome
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 17 Jul, 2016 07:12 am
"this other person, who is quite clearly not a 'good person' and is using me for one thing,"


Sex seems to be the only thing holding this relationship together - you know that, don't you?

Why can't you have this "amazing" sex with your partner?

CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 18 Jul, 2016 09:18 am
@Missing-my-lover,
He got what he wanted. Maybe his wife is getting suspicious. Maybe he is having second thoughts about destroying his marriage and his family over jumping into bed with you.

You should have left well enough alone knowing he was married. With any luck, his wife will find out and your partner will find out and both of you will be kicked to the curb.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Jul, 2016 09:36 am
@Missing-my-lover,
When will you be ending your long-term relationship?
Eliusa
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2016 05:45 pm
@CoastalRat,
Not everyone finding out! Get off that thang...
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2016 05:48 pm
@ehBeth,
So she can be alone? What's the point of ending her relationships?
If her partner can't feel she is in turmoil - let him be in a dark!
He deserves to be cheated on!
And This exactly WHY she can't have amazing sex with him!
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2016 05:50 pm
@PUNKEY,
Do you really believe you can have amazing sex with anyone?
Like honestly...
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2016 06:27 pm
@Eliusa,
Absolutely!

I had an amazing sexual relationship with someone for months. Then reality set in and things started to fall apart. There was not enough substance to hold this together.

This woman knows only sex with this man.

He has a wife and children. Let him be.

She will never win, anyway.

HE knows exactly what this is.
Eliusa
 
  -4  
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2016 06:34 pm
@PUNKEY,
I don't speak about anything BUT totally
wrong opinion of yours about great sex!
You may live your whole life thinking you
have a great sex but when you have mindblowing
one - you see your 'great' was mediocre at best!

I didn't have a great sex with my love yet
however I love him for 100 other different
reasons so don't look at me like sex crazy
woman.

I am just amazed how all of your posts about
relationships are narrow and cliche.
Like if you copy/pasting from library book
written in 1930! Common!!!
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2016 06:42 pm
@Eliusa,
And I'm aware and amazed about your life, too, dear.

Eliusa
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2016 07:38 pm
@PUNKEY,
I KNOW! But my life is not a cliché and nothing about my life is boring!
You seemed just have no experience at all!
NO SEX can be rated UNLESS you had A LOT of it.
One 'great' person in your life and you are a 'pro'?
I had 50+ so I am a pro. And I don't care about sex as much as I care
about what heart is doing with my brain.
Ever had that? If not - butt out...dear!
Though I am going to miss your stale comments...really.
I am a good girl at heart. You just still in past and sexual revolution
went around you.
BTW what is your love life today? Care to share 'perfect example' of
knocking on a door of your partner and asking 'can I come in dear?'
kumaramit
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Oct, 2016 06:16 am
@Missing-my-lover,
You had a great mistake if the sex was the only thing in between that person and you then you can do it with your loving partner who loves you a lot even you know about that person that he was married then how could you do it with him .
so forget all the things happen and move on with your partner . i hope you understand this .
0 Replies
 
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Oct, 2016 08:57 pm
@Eliusa,
Eliusa wrote:

I KNOW! But my life is not a cliché and nothing about my life is boring!
You seemed just have no experience at all!
NO SEX can be rated UNLESS you had A LOT of it.
One 'great' person in your life and you are a 'pro'?
I had 50+ so I am a pro. And I don't care about sex as much as I care
about what heart is doing with my brain.
Ever had that? If not - butt out...dear!
Though I am going to miss your stale comments...really.
I am a good girl at heart. You just still in past and sexual revolution
went around you.
BTW what is your love life today? Care to share 'perfect example' of
knocking on a door of your partner and asking 'can I come in dear?'


So your nose is the highest part of your body. Well we know one thing for sure, you are great at self praise.
roger
 
  2  
Reply Fri 21 Oct, 2016 09:05 pm
@Krumple,
Ah, if only someone were listening.
0 Replies
 
Rajc
 
  0  
Reply Mon 23 Jan, 2017 11:21 am
@Missing-my-lover,
You are perfectly fine and not foolish at all. It's happened to most of us here . In your case it seems the guy is speaking through his needs and his hormones , while you being a giver are falling for him . Not sure if its love or validation and attention that he gives that's driving you . Also most of us get into it cos of boredom as current relationship becomes a routine .
My suggestion is have sex for the fun of it and don't get too involved, it will only spoil someone's family life , lives and trust and cause more reasons to depressions . Keep it casual .
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Mon 23 Jan, 2017 11:49 am
@Rajc,
Rajc wrote:

... It's happened to most of us here . ....


Ha, nope. Try again, rationalizer.
0 Replies
 
Iouman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 02:08 pm
@Rajc,
Rajc = Fool
0 Replies
 
intoodeep
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 20 Feb, 2017 06:29 pm
@Missing-my-lover,
Just some friendly advice --- this is NOT a good board to post if you are the OW. PM me if you'd like to talk. I'm the OW too. Feel the same way you do. I understand and won't judge you.
0 Replies
 
Agent1741
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jun, 2018 09:20 pm
@CoastalRat,
I am with you on this. Both of them are in relationships of one sort or another & each knew this beforehand. Cheating IMHO is no way to go in a relationship. If you are not happy with your significant other GET OUT! I understand if you have a family then its more difficult but being unfaithful is not going to make it any easier (in fact it could make it worse) but its simply not right to play away from home. Perhaps I am just old fashioned but that's what I believe old fashioned or otherwise.
0 Replies
 
 

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