@Eliusa,
Quote:Found Soul, I had not read your post until now.
I appreciate it very much.
See, I can not even imagine leaving my husband. 20 years old habit is hard to break I guess. It is not happening. Not even remote possibility. It is like to tell your brother you are done being his sister. Impossible.
On the other side we are taking one day at the time. Getting to know each other. Not sexually, just emotionally. Still losing weight, looking awesome now. 'Brother' doesn't comment. Flame is losing his mind. However very quietly. Haven't done anything stupid yet. So there is long way to go.
Most relationships that lose their intimacy turn to friendship. That's very hard to then try to change that back into being intimate, a bond, love with lust. BUT it can happen, does happen. Strangely though when two people fall out of love and are "just friends" eventually after time they come to realise that even if the transition is difficult, one leaves and both come to realise that. Both move on with their lives and often the friendship that the two original parties gets back on track, as friendship because you are right only in that reflection that true friendships are hard to break...
But by staying, in that friendship, you on one hand, are not being a loyal friend at all. You are dreaming, imagining, losing weight, feeling sexy, waiting, timing things. Quiet premeditated don't you think? And, whilst he doesn't notice (in your eyes) of the weight loss because lets face it, I think he knows more than you are willing to believe, you are classing him as a dumb azz, oblivious to anything, he is remaining in the loyal friendship zone.
You're being calculated. But you're being blind. I believe that he is choosing to ignore as he's lost the fight along time ago, when you told him he talked like a baby in bed. The more you put someone down, the more they remain in their world.
Eh-Beth said, most walk away, everyone on here if they have felt like you, walked first. I'd say she is right and I'm one of those and I was 45.
I sense you are enjoying the prey. Making his sweat, wait.
I sense that you have no idea of the fire you are playing with, nor any regard at all for the "friendship" of your husband because as you are stating you WILL go ahead with this but then you expect should your husband find out that he will be a "friend" and accept it, 20 years is a long time.
What if your husband is hurt by it, totally.
Does your friendship extend to guilt? Does it extend to realising what you have done to his soul?
Look Eliusa, friendships that are real don't die, ever.
Walk. Don't destroy a mans heart for your own selfishness. No one can judge you for wanting a "better" life but you truly can't do that at the expense of someone else. And, you are.
