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Cheating with controlling man

 
 
Reply Wed 17 Feb, 2016 08:06 am
I am unhappily married for two years to an emotionally abusive man been having an affair for a year with a married man I used to work with and lately he's been real controlling saying he wants me to obey him and he wants to own me he has kids and married doesn't seem to be leaving in the future I'm thinking about getting a divorce soon and he says when I'm alone things will be different between me and him but just wondering is he Using me since we don't see much of each other we normally just sext and send pictures and one possible meet up but never in public . I'm trying to get them out of my head but I am in love with them even though he says he loves me I'm not sure what his real feelings are. Feel Like a fool that I even started this
 
CoastalRat
 
  5  
Reply Wed 17 Feb, 2016 09:44 am
@Cpdgirl1622,
So you want to go from an emotionally abusive relationship to a controlling relationship with a married man who tells you that things will be different once you are alone. How will it be different? Oh yeah, he will be able to screw you whenever he wants since you will be alone and he will not have to leave his family in order to get some pussy on the side. Sounds like a really sweet deal for him. For you, not so much.

If your marriage is intolerable, then end it. Take some time to get your life together. Find a single guy who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. And most importantly, walk away from the married guy. You are being used for his enjoyment. Why would you want to whore yourself out to someone like that. (I used the word whore intentionally. It is exactly what you would call a woman your husband was seeing on the side. And I would bet it is exactly what your lover's wife would call you if she finds out about you.)
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Wed 17 Feb, 2016 09:47 am
@Cpdgirl1622,
You're in a marriage with an abuser and also having an affair with someone who sounds emotionally abusive.

I suggest you arrange counselling for yourself as soon as possible.

Do not continue contact with the man you're having an affair with. He sounds like he could be dangerous. He definitely sounds bad for your mental health.

Please take care of yourself.
parados
 
  2  
Reply Wed 17 Feb, 2016 11:26 am
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:



I suggest you arrange counselling for yourself as soon as possible.




Agreed.

0 Replies
 
Cpdgirl1622
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Feb, 2016 01:33 pm
@CoastalRat,
Thanks for putting that in perspective ,as much as it hurts to hear that I know it's the truth and that's what I've been thinking for a while now I just needed to hear it from a total stranger thank you so much really helps me a lot, now the hard part will be not answering texts from him and getting him out of my head and heart
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Wed 17 Feb, 2016 01:43 pm
@Cpdgirl1622,
You can do it!
Take care of yourself.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Wed 17 Feb, 2016 03:45 pm
@Cpdgirl1622,
Cpdgirl1622 wrote:
the hard part will be not answering texts from him


start by blocking all numbers/contact sources he has
0 Replies
 
Iouman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Feb, 2017 11:41 am
@Cpdgirl1622,
You can do so much better than this. Go out and find a man who thinks your #1 in his book. Never settle for being #2.
0 Replies
 
Havetobeme
 
  3  
Reply Sat 25 Feb, 2017 08:11 am
@Cpdgirl1622,
I hope you can get out of your bad marriage, get counseling for yourself so you don't get into another bad relationship. You deserve better. You're not a fool, you've been in an abusive relationship. I don't know your past or how or why you got into one but you need to get out of that first. All that relationship is doing is making you feel worse and setting up a pattern for you to continue into similar relationships. They make you feel like it's what you deserve. Please Take care of yourself, you just need to find yourself, your confidence in yourself, love yourself before getting into another relationship. Because if you can do that first you won't find yourself attracted to anyone who won't treat you as well as you deserve.
0 Replies
 
 

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