My wife's affair and her lack of desire towards me now

My wife and I have been married for 7 years, together for 10. We have always been the best of friends, no doubt about it. Everything about our relationship has been great from the start and our sexual relationship amazing, until the little one showed up five years ago. Even after we had our son, the sex was "good", although it became much less frequent. Having a child was difficult for us but not bad. We were, what I'd consider to be, a healthy happy family. There was a communication breakdown when it came to how to raise our child as we didn't necessarily agree on certain things. As the husband I tried extremely hard to have my voice heard and attempted on many many occasions to discuss our differences but to no avail. My wife was in disagreement and she took a lot of what I said as criticism. Over time this "criticism" became somewhat detrimental to our relationship. My wife is the type that she doesn't voice her concerns. Instead she kept it all inside and, from what I've discovered now, it really affected her negatively. Anyways, hopefully you get the idea. On the surface, we remained a happy family and continued to have many very happy times during that period. About four months ago I caught my wife having an affair. Only by chance did I stumble upon a text while her and I were out on a date night. As you could imagine, it was completely devastating. Never could I have thought that this was even remotely possible. Never could any of our family and friends have considered this to be possible. The point is that it was a complete shock. We were not in a dysfunctional relationship by any means. When I found out about this three month sexual affair, my wife took it upon herself to abruptly end it and removed herself from the situation completely. She quickly proved to me that she wanted nothing but me, and she said she never had any intention of leaving. She explained it as a crazy thrill ride that she got caught up in and got way carried away. Since then I have learned of how I contributed to her very poor decision and learned how my words had been affecting her. We learned a lot about each of our shortcomings as spouses and through counseling we have both worked hard to improve in many areas. We are closer now than we ever realized we could be. Her and I are best friends, great co-parents, true life partners….we do everything together and love each other deeply. Now, here is where the confusion comes in; since this all went down four months ago, I have found a seriously deep attraction to her. I am completely convinced that she is everything I need and I am deeply in love with her. We have had sex, on average, about three times per week. But....and this is my big but, I don't feel like she has a "desire" towards me that I would expect or that I have towards her. She has sex pretty much whenever I want and she even initiates it sometimes, but I feel like she's only doing it for me and for this family. She knows I want it and I need it so she does it for me. She admittedly does not have the desire for it. I don't mean she doesn't have the desire often, I mean never. Over the last four months, we have had many conversations about this. For me, nearly loosing her was enough to spark something very strong, but it didn't have the same affect on her. At first, she said that she needed some normalcy back and maybe that may be why she couldn't find it. I have given her day to day normalcy now, yet nothing has changed. At this point, this has me very concerned. I am a good looking guy, am in good shape....she says that she is very physically attracted to me. We have connected on very deep levels through conversation and our shows of affection are pretty constant. It’s been great! Everything is there except for one thing; her desire for me! It hurts extremely bad because, in my mind, it was four months ago that she was able to find that "desire" for someone else yet she can't seem to find it for me. She is 28 years old, a healthy beautiful young woman. I give her so much credit for doing so much to preserve this relationship, but why can't she find that desire for me? She has basically admitted that the last time she felt "horny" was during her affair. She realizes how painful that is for me to know, but all she can say is that she's so sorry. She feels so bad for me and she constantly tells me and shows her love for me, but why doesn't she feel that way towards me any more? It's devastating to think about at this point and it's really the only thing not allowing me to get completely over this affair. What is it? What could it be? Is it possible that she has fallen out of love with me? I know she loves me and she has proven that on a daily basis, but why can't I turn her on? Does that mean that she’s not “in love” with me any more? She says that she doesn't “hate" sex with me now, and most of the time she actually enjoys it once we're into the act, but I can see in her eyes that something is missing. She's not interested in foreplay, she not connecting with me emotionally during sex. It's like she's just doing something that she has to do. As a husband that has had to go through what we’ve gone through, it is completely devistating to think that she doesn’t have that feeling towards me. Can someone please offer some help on this? Help for me? And help for her? I know she wants to feel it but she just hasn't. Any input helps