@Germlat,
Quote:You suggested he do something about it when: suggested he should seduce her, and the "chase" doesn't stop after you get married. As if there are behaviors he needs to correct in order for her desire for him( I took the word fault away...). Many men don't understand women often cheat for emotional reasons that have not much to do with sex.
Hi Germlat...we still can't have an productive, or even rational conversation, because, despite removing the word 'blame', the whole framework of your post (quoted) is still geared towards assigning blame.
You see - in your framework if someone says 'the chase should never stop' you see that as (because you assign blame) equivalent to saying 'it's your fault for stopping chasing'.
In my framework it's simply 'have you considers X, because of A/B/C/D, and do you think it could help you?" or similar.
Further, whereas after assigning blame, the blamer usually stops thinking about it further (because 'it's '####'s fault), or pile on further blame - my framework is very open, and even seeks out every other contributing factor - from both sides.
And in further difference - there is a recognition that we cannot truly control another person (ie make them feel something), but that often, we can lead them to feel something (this, essentially, is a large part of what flirting/courting is, what seduction is etc). Rephrased - there is an inherent principle that we can affect others feeling, but never truly make them feel something (which means we can do much to affect them, but also means we are never responsible for their feelings).
Hence when you see me as posting 'fault': I say - this interpretation of yours is founded in your belief systems, not mine. Fault/Blame doesn't exist.
You say you've removed 'blame' from your post, but it's still there - looking for a full stop.
