How old were you when you had your 1st boyfriend/girlfriend?

It's worth a try hun if you promise to limit it to that:)

You can only try.

Remember though your Dad loves you and you "are" still his princess, they hate seeing you grow up and they fear for you, that's normal, still be his little girl, you are allowed to grow up as well:)

Show him you are responsible that's all I am saying and don't expect "immediate" changes.

Geez you are bringing me back to my past in a big way lols

And I'm friends with my dad on Facebook but we dont talk or play games or anything there. So, sometimes I forget that he's there and he's checking stuff and everything. He shouldn't be checking my stuff anyway. ...

Quote:

He shouldn't be checking my stuff anyway. I'm never on his Facebook page looking at all his stuff.

I feel your frustration as I experienced something similar as the son of someone whom I felt was an old-fashioned parent. This is where you're hazy about the role of a parent - your parent. It is the nature of children to want to push back against their parents control. 'The lessons you learn now will cement in your head how you'd do it differently as a parent.

He's the parent and 'cause he has this responsibility he feels that it's his job to watch over you. Yes, sadly... that means FB snooping, too. It's his right as a parent. When you're 16, it should be a bit different - not that it would be a consolation to you. When you're out from under his 'watch' it will be different.

Remember his job is to raise the best Gracie that he knows how. The way he chooses to do it (in this particular way) differs from your idea.
This is somehting you need to overcome but not avoid.

See if you can bring your b/f over for dinner and allow him to see how your b/f is up close. It might make all the difference. Show your dad you are not sneaking around and want him to know someone you like and who you feel that he should open his mind and heart to also.

Things WILL change. You'll change and he'll change. There are big changes from 14 to 16 and then 18. Just because you aren't aware of the change, it doesn't mean trhe change didn't happen and aren't going to happen.

The mistake we make as teens (or even from one decade to the next) is that we feel that the way we think at the moment is the way we'll think in the future. You can't possibly know how you will think in a year or two. You have to learn how to accept not having control and accept what you can't change.

That isn't to say that I think there is a thing wrong with you dating Colin or your relationship. However, your Dad needs you to show him that you are worthy of more trust. Remember the Fb entry was not wise but not the end of the world either.

This is what we learn from just living and observing. Only more life experience can give you that. No matter how smart and mature we are - even when we are ahead of the curve like I feel you are. Your perspective will change. That is what life teaches us. Same thing goes for me too.

It's not a simple cut-and-dry issue, a we all can see ... based upon your being 2 years younger than some of your classmates. You have to be patient and keep keep talking it over with your Dad..but do NOT do things behind his back 'cause that would torpedo your relationship and would make him question your ability to be trusted more.

I wish you all the best with this issue, Gracie. For me to tell you that you should avoid rebelling would be to try turn the tide back. If you had a mother to bounce this off of it would be easier. Perhaps somehow if there were a third person to help moderate his stand it would make such a difference.

GracieGirl wrote:

jespah wrote:

Hmm. I was first kissed when I was 9. But that was not a boyfriend, per se. I also "dated" in summer camp, which essentially meant you kissed (sometimes more, generally not) and also held hands and spent time together. That was early/mid-teens, 13, 14, that kinda thing.

Had my first real date-date I think when I was 15. Keep in mind I was younger than everyone because of when I'm born, plus I skipped a grade. So 15 meant I was in my junior year in High School. I went to a party with one guy named Tom and left with a different guy, also named Tom. Tom D. (the second one) and I dated all summer; he came to my house and met my folks. He was a sweet guy but not Jewish. My folks kinda liked him, though, despite the fact that he was a bit long-haired; he was going to go to college for engineering, and was a year ahead of me (his sister and I were in class together).

It ended when he went off to college, to Drexel University. He had won a local scholarship and all. I remember hearing about him when he graduated college; he turned around and funded a scholarship for another kid to come after him. Dunno what happened to him but I imagine he is designing bridges somewhere.

You had your first kiss when you were 9?!
I had my first 'real' kiss with Collin last week at lunch. It lasted about 5 seconds but it was perfect except his lips were chapped.
So, you started dating at 15. That's a year and a half away for me. Too long.

I skipped grades too. So, even though I'm 13 I'm a sophomore and all the kids in my class are 15 and 16 but I hang out with my bestfriend Natalie and her friends and they're 16 and 17. So 'all' my friends are dating.

Haha! I like your Tom story. You're Jewish? Jewish confuses me alittle. Is that a religion or race? Aren't you blonde? I thought all Jewish people were dark haired.

Well, at nine, with Robbie, it was more like he just grabbed me. It was during a field trip.

And the 15 thing was real dating, as in he would come to the house, etc. and we would go out for an ice cream cone or to the movies or whatever. I did kiss guys in between (mainly at summer camp, probably because there was less parental hovering and the freedom of summer, plus the idea was that it would not last/peers would not see). But I don't remember actually seeing anyone for more than once or twice until Tom D. (then Steve after him, then Chris - I thought I was in love with Chris -, right before college. College was a very different story).

I know what you mean about seeing everyone else doing these things and you can't/people think you're too young, etc. I was 13 and I was in 9th grade. Everyone else was coming up on 15. There were definitely couples. For me, it felt lonely, like I was left out.

Yeah, I'm a nice Jewish gal (it's a religion, not a race. There are black people who are Jews!). The current hair color is from a bottle but I really was a blonde kid. There are those of us with some Polish ancestry. But only a few of my cousins on either side of the family are blonde. RP is also Jewish and he's auburn. We'll have a Chanukah party here with Roberta, Ragman, jcboy and anyone else in the tribe. Of course everyone is invited.

GracieGirl wrote:

And I'm friends with my dad on Facebook but we dont talk or play games or anything there. So, sometimes I forget that he's there and he's checking stuff and everything. He shouldn't be checking my stuff anyway. ...

I've got to disagree with you here, GG. He loves you, and that's why he's keeping tabs.

You know, there are some parents who don't care enough about their kids to do what your dad is doing. You are lucky to have him. I know that' hard for you to see and understand right now, but you will in time.

OK, No offense but I'll withdraw from my commenting more. I'll read only onward from this point.

jespah wrote:

GracieGirl wrote:

jespah wrote:

Hmm. I was first kissed when I was 9. But that was not a boyfriend, per se. I also "dated" in summer camp, which essentially meant you kissed (sometimes more, generally not) and also held hands and spent time together. That was early/mid-teens, 13, 14, that kinda thing.

Had my first real date-date I think when I was 15. Keep in mind I was younger than everyone because of when I'm born, plus I skipped a grade. So 15 meant I was in my junior year in High School. I went to a party with one guy named Tom and left with a different guy, also named Tom. Tom D. (the second one) and I dated all summer; he came to my house and met my folks. He was a sweet guy but not Jewish. My folks kinda liked him, though, despite the fact that he was a bit long-haired; he was going to go to college for engineering, and was a year ahead of me (his sister and I were in class together).

It ended when he went off to college, to Drexel University. He had won a local scholarship and all. I remember hearing about him when he graduated college; he turned around and funded a scholarship for another kid to come after him. Dunno what happened to him but I imagine he is designing bridges somewhere.

You had your first kiss when you were 9?!
I had my first 'real' kiss with Collin last week at lunch. It lasted about 5 seconds but it was perfect except his lips were chapped.
So, you started dating at 15. That's a year and a half away for me. Too long.

I skipped grades too. So, even though I'm 13 I'm a sophomore and all the kids in my class are 15 and 16 but I hang out with my bestfriend Natalie and her friends and they're 16 and 17. So 'all' my friends are dating.

Haha! I like your Tom story. You're Jewish? Jewish confuses me alittle. Is that a religion or race? Aren't you blonde? I thought all Jewish people were dark haired.

Well, at nine, with Robbie, it was more like he just grabbed me. It was during a field trip.

And the 15 thing was real dating, as in he would come to the house, etc. and we would go out for an ice cream cone or to the movies or whatever. I did kiss guys in between (mainly at summer camp, probably because there was less parental hovering and the freedom of summer, plus the idea was that it would not last/peers would not see). But I don't remember actually seeing anyone for more than once or twice until Tom D. (then Steve after him, then Chris - I thought I was in love with Chris -, right before college. College was a very different story).

I know what you mean about seeing everyone else doing these things and you can't/people think you're too young, etc. I was 13 and I was in 9th grade. Everyone else was coming up on 15. There were definitely couples. For me, it felt lonely, like I was left out.

Yeah, I'm a nice Jewish gal (it's a religion, not a race. There are black people who are Jews!). The current hair color is from a bottle but I really was a blonde kid. There are those of us with some Polish ancestry. But only a few of my cousins on either side of the family are blonde. RP is also Jewish and he's auburn. We'll have a Chanukah party here with Roberta, Ragman, jcboy and anyone else in the tribe. Of course everyone is invited.

Yea! See, you DO get what I mean. I do feel left out when all my friends are talking about their boyfriends and relationship stuff or when they're out on dates. I wanna do that stuff too.

And I always thought Jewish was a race. How did the Nazis know if someone was Jewish or not? I never understood that. I asked my teacher but I don't think she explained it.

I think there's something about skipping a grade (or more) that is an experience that other people just don't share. I don't mean to sound snobbish. It's more like - life is different. These days, I am often the oldest person in my group, but for years I was the youngest. I think as a teen there's a feeling that you're missing out. You do find yourself feeling left out and odd in both camps, whether it's the people in your grade (who are older) or the ones who are your age (who are a year or so behind you). Eek!

...I don't know why I put it on Facebook. I was just excited and happy and I wanted all my friends to know. And I'm friends with my dad on Facebook but we dont talk or play games or anything there. So, sometimes I forget that he's there and he's checking stuff and everything. He shouldn't be checking my stuff anyway. I'm never on his Facebook page looking at all his stuff. That's why I don't even like going to my Facebook page to talk to friends anymore. He's soo annoying.

GracieGirl wrote:

jespah wrote:

GracieGirl wrote:

jespah wrote:

Hmm. I was first kissed when I was 9. But that was not a boyfriend, per se. I also "dated" in summer camp, which essentially meant you kissed (sometimes more, generally not) and also held hands and spent time together. That was early/mid-teens, 13, 14, that kinda thing.

Had my first real date-date I think when I was 15. Keep in mind I was younger than everyone because of when I'm born, plus I skipped a grade. So 15 meant I was in my junior year in High School. I went to a party with one guy named Tom and left with a different guy, also named Tom. Tom D. (the second one) and I dated all summer; he came to my house and met my folks. He was a sweet guy but not Jewish. My folks kinda liked him, though, despite the fact that he was a bit long-haired; he was going to go to college for engineering, and was a year ahead of me (his sister and I were in class together).

It ended when he went off to college, to Drexel University. He had won a local scholarship and all. I remember hearing about him when he graduated college; he turned around and funded a scholarship for another kid to come after him. Dunno what happened to him but I imagine he is designing bridges somewhere.

You had your first kiss when you were 9?!
I had my first 'real' kiss with Collin last week at lunch. It lasted about 5 seconds but it was perfect except his lips were chapped.
So, you started dating at 15. That's a year and a half away for me. Too long.

I skipped grades too. So, even though I'm 13 I'm a sophomore and all the kids in my class are 15 and 16 but I hang out with my bestfriend Natalie and her friends and they're 16 and 17. So 'all' my friends are dating.

Haha! I like your Tom story. You're Jewish? Jewish confuses me alittle. Is that a religion or race? Aren't you blonde? I thought all Jewish people were dark haired.

Well, at nine, with Robbie, it was more like he just grabbed me. It was during a field trip.

And the 15 thing was real dating, as in he would come to the house, etc. and we would go out for an ice cream cone or to the movies or whatever. I did kiss guys in between (mainly at summer camp, probably because there was less parental hovering and the freedom of summer, plus the idea was that it would not last/peers would not see). But I don't remember actually seeing anyone for more than once or twice until Tom D. (then Steve after him, then Chris - I thought I was in love with Chris -, right before college. College was a very different story).

I know what you mean about seeing everyone else doing these things and you can't/people think you're too young, etc. I was 13 and I was in 9th grade. Everyone else was coming up on 15. There were definitely couples. For me, it felt lonely, like I was left out.

Yeah, I'm a nice Jewish gal (it's a religion, not a race. There are black people who are Jews!). The current hair color is from a bottle but I really was a blonde kid. There are those of us with some Polish ancestry. But only a few of my cousins on either side of the family are blonde. RP is also Jewish and he's auburn. We'll have a Chanukah party here with Roberta, Ragman, jcboy and anyone else in the tribe. Of course everyone is invited.

Yea! See, you DO get what I mean. I do feel left out when all my friends are talking about their boyfriends and relationship stuff or when they're out on dates. I wanna do that stuff too.

And I always thought Jewish was a race. How did the Nazis know if someone was Jewish or not? I never understood that. I asked my teacher but I don't think she explained it.

I think there's something about skipping a grade (or more) that is an experience that other people just don't share. I don't mean to sound snobbish. It's more like - life is different. These days, I am often the oldest person in my group, but for years I was the youngest. I think as a teen there's a feeling that you're missing out. You do find yourself feeling left out and odd in both camps, whether it's the people in your grade (who are older) or the ones who are your age (who are a year or so behind you). Eek!

As for how the Nazis knew - lotsa reasons. Census records, for one. People would identify their religion, and they had for a long time before the Nazis came to power. People went to synagogue, or they had years before. Their last names. Their looks (yes, though that wasn't necessarily reliable). And their lovely neighbors would rat them out, too.

But a lot of people were righteous and hated what was happening in Germany, Holland and other places where the Nazis were. Anne Frank and her family (you may have read her diary. If you haven't, it's an outstanding book) were hidden by a family friend named Miep Gies. Oskar Schindler used bribery and exaggerrated manpower needs (he made a list) to get Jews to work in his factory, rather than have them sent to concentration camps. The Steven Spielberg film, Schindler's List, is about this. It is an excellent film but it is difficult viewing. And these weren't the only folks who did this.

I kind of had a girlfriend when I was 16, her name was Christina. I think it last all of a week. I ended it when she wanted to do something nasty to me. Ewe!

GracieGirl wrote:

...I don't know why I put it on Facebook. I was just excited and happy and I wanted all my friends to know. And I'm friends with my dad on Facebook but we dont talk or play games or anything there. So, sometimes I forget that he's there and he's checking stuff and everything. He shouldn't be checking my stuff anyway. I'm never on his Facebook page looking at all his stuff. That's why I don't even like going to my Facebook page to talk to friends anymore. He's soo annoying.

He wouldn't have to snoop, Gracie. It would have popped up on his News Feed. Whenever you change your relationship status, it's like making an announcement to the whole world. Everyone on your friends list is notified. If your dad changed his relationship status because of a girlfriend, it would pop up on your News Feed as well.

jcboy wrote:

I kind of had a girlfriend when I was 16, her name was Christina. I think it last all of a week. I ended it when she wanted to do something nasty to me. Ewe!

I think I broke a rib