How old were you when you had your 1st boyfriend/girlfriend?

Ticomaya wrote:

GracieGirl wrote:

Well, that's still dating Roberta. He was still your boyfriend. You talked on the phone and texted and stuff, right?

I was laughing too! I can see Roberta texting her boyfriends....

It's entirely possible that your dad was freaked out by the FB term "in a relationship." To adults, that makes it sound more serious than it probably is. Explain to him what it means to you. Tell him what "dating" means to you. It may not be what he is thinking.

He may have felt that you betrayed his trust when you announced that you're in a relationship on FB but not a word to him. I'd be pissed, too. You know he checks everywhere so why'd you post it there unless you were daring him to find it?

I know it's hard to grasp why he's so strict with you, but it's just as hard to grasp for him that you'd entrust that info to FB world BEFORE him - even though you suspected he'd freak. Somewhere some how you and he have to get together and make sure both of you can believe in one another's judgement. When he comes around to listening and trusting you, it will be a lot better but it'll take time.

In the meanhile, you have to show him again that you can be trusted. Whatever you do, don't sneak behind his back. For a bit longer you need to follow his rules - even if they seem 'wrong' for you. Yes, they and he may seem wrong and arbitrary, but you have to trust his judgement and then after a bit he will let up. It just will seem like forever until then. As tough as it seems, you need to respect his authority and his best judgement.

Nope, it's not fun and possibly he could be wrong; however, the act of having your friend over dinner might defuse some of the problem by allowing your dad to get to know your friend and sense whether or not he can trusted..a bit.

Best of luck to you guys.

Right NOW at 13.5 yrs dating is not a big deal but you have to trust us that will change. You may deal with it now as it's no big deal, but this is not just about how you deal with this. You'll have a partner with their own way of looking at things.

I bet you can't imagine being jealous either, right? It more than likely it'll happen. And when those feelings (or others) occur, you might find yourself being surprised how much deeper you'll feel and how vastly differently.

I was a late bloomer. I started dating when I was 16. Morgan is the only person I ever fell in love with and I’ve never been happier.

He shouldn't be checking my stuff anyway. I'm never on his Facebook page looking at all his stuff.

I think 13 is too young for a 'boyfriend'. A friend who is a boy is fine - but yeah - I agree with your dad. If you guys want to go out with a group of friends , that'd be okay, but no, I wouldn't really want my daughter going out alone with a boy at 13.

And the whole cell phone thing is another issue. I didn't let my daughter have a cell phone until she was 16. If someone wanted to call her, they could call her on the home phone. I wanted to know who was calling her. I don't think that's unreasonable- for a parent to know who is in their child's life. I think it's necessary and helps keep children safe.

Gracie, how old is Collin?
You are on average one or two years younger than your classmates, so for them dating is okay. If your Dad feels you are too young to date, then you have to obey his wishes, I am sorry. I am definitely on his side here.

GracieGirl wrote:

Roberta wrote:

Gracie, Mostly my boyfriend and I were together at parties. We didn't do much in the way of dating (going someplace together).

I said that my father was a lot less thrilled than my mother. You're dealing with a father--the male of the species. I suspect that he's reluctant to let you date because he remembers what he was like when he was your age--and what he wanted from a girl. He's feeling protective of you.

Well, that's still dating Roberta. He was still your boyfriend. You talked on the phone and texted and stuff, right?


Hey, are most moms cooler about dating or do they think it's a big deal too? I don't get the protective part either. I mean, I'd understand if I had a sucky boyfriend and my dad was worried and protective but thats not how it is. Collin's sweet and awesome and perfect. I like being his girlfriend and dads ruining it.

ROFLMAO, Gracie. Texting? When I was 13 there were no wireless phones, let alone mobile phones. There were no personal computers. There were telephones. Period. He and I didn't talk on the phone much. We saw each other every day in class.

I can't tell you how all mothers react. I only know that mine was thrilled. All she wanted was for me to get married. I guess she figured I was starting off on the right foot.

I don't think that your boyfriend not being sucky is the issue. He's a guy, and you're a girl, and your father feels protective. I think it's natural.

Aha! Thanks. At least I was past the stone tablet form of communication. We had paper back in those days. And I do remember the introduction of the ball-point pen.

jespah wrote:

Hmm. I was first kissed when I was 9. But that was not a boyfriend, per se. I also "dated" in summer camp, which essentially meant you kissed (sometimes more, generally not) and also held hands and spent time together. That was early/mid-teens, 13, 14, that kinda thing.

Had my first real date-date I think when I was 15. Keep in mind I was younger than everyone because of when I'm born, plus I skipped a grade. So 15 meant I was in my junior year in High School. I went to a party with one guy named Tom and left with a different guy, also named Tom. Tom D. (the second one) and I dated all summer; he came to my house and met my folks. He was a sweet guy but not Jewish. My folks kinda liked him, though, despite the fact that he was a bit long-haired; he was going to go to college for engineering, and was a year ahead of me (his sister and I were in class together).

It ended when he went off to college, to Drexel University. He had won a local scholarship and all. I remember hearing about him when he graduated college; he turned around and funded a scholarship for another kid to come after him. Dunno what happened to him but I imagine he is designing bridges somewhere.

You had your first kiss when you were 9?!
I had my first 'real' kiss with Collin last week at lunch. It lasted about 5 seconds but it was perfect except his lips were chapped.
So, you started dating at 15. That's a year and a half away for me. Too long.

I skipped grades too. So, even though I'm 13 I'm a sophomore and all the kids in my class are 15 and 16 but I hang out with my bestfriend Natalie and her friends and they're 16 and 17. So 'all' my friends are dating.

Haha! I like your Tom story. You're Jewish? Jewish confuses me alittle. Is that a religion or race? Aren't you blonde? I thought all Jewish people were dark haired.