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How old were you when you had your 1st boyfriend/girlfriend?

 
 
Roberta
 
  2  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 11:23 pm
@CalamityJane,
CalamityJane wrote:

Ticomaya wrote:

GracieGirl wrote:
Well, that's still dating Roberta. He was still your boyfriend. You talked on the phone and texted and stuff, right?

Laughing


I was laughing too! I can see Roberta texting her boyfriends.... Laughing


Why is this so amusing? OK. I laughed, but only because there was no such thing as texting when I was a kid. Really curious.
Ticomaya
 
  2  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 11:31 pm
@Roberta,
That's why CJ and I were laughing too, Roberta.
Roberta
 
  3  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 11:56 pm
@Ticomaya,
Aha! Thanks. At least I was past the stone tablet form of communication. We had paper back in those days. And I do remember the introduction of the ball-point pen.
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 02:04 am
@GracieGirl,
It's worth a try hun if you promise to limit it to that:)

You can only try.

Remember though your Dad loves you and you "are" still his princess, they hate seeing you grow up and they fear for you, that's normal, still be his little girl, you are allowed to grow up as well:)

Show him you are responsible that's all I am saying and don't expect "immediate" changes.

Geez you are bringing me back to my past in a big way lols

Smile
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 05:28 am
@Joe Nation,
Aww. That's soo sad Joe Nation.
Thats an awesome story though, thanks for sharing! Smile

0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 05:41 am
@Eva,
Eva wrote:

It's entirely possible that your dad was freaked out by the FB term "in a relationship." To adults, that makes it sound more serious than it probably is. Explain to him what it means to you. Tell him what "dating" means to you. It may not be what he is thinking.


I think I've tried that already. I told him that dating isnt a big deal and all I want is a boyfriend that I can hang out with and stuff. It sucks when all your friends are dating and you're the only one who can't. It's not like I'm trying to get married or something.
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 05:55 am
@Ragman,
Ragman wrote:

He may have felt that you betrayed his trust when you announced that you're in a relationship on FB but not a word to him. I'd be pissed, too. You know he checks everywhere so why'd you post it there unless you were daring him to find it?

I know it's hard to grasp why he's so strict with you, but it's just as hard to grasp for him that you'd entrust that info to FB world BEFORE him - even though you suspected he'd freak. Somewhere some how you and he have to get together and make sure both of you can believe in one another's judgement. When he comes around to listening and trusting you, it will be a lot better but it'll take time.

In the meanhile, you have to show him again that you can be trusted. Whatever you do, don't sneak behind his back. For a bit longer you need to follow his rules - even if they seem 'wrong' for you. Yes, they and he may seem wrong and arbitrary, but you have to trust his judgement and then after a bit he will let up. It just will seem like forever until then. As tough as it seems, you need to respect his authority and his best judgement.

Nope, it's not fun and possibly he could be wrong; however, the act of having your friend over dinner might defuse some of the problem by allowing your dad to get to know your friend and sense whether or not he can trusted..a bit.

Best of luck to you guys.


I don't know why I put it on Facebook. I was just excited and happy and I wanted all my friends to know. And I'm friends with my dad on Facebook but we dont talk or play games or anything there. So, sometimes I forget that he's there and he's checking stuff and everything. He shouldn't be checking my stuff anyway. I'm never on his Facebook page looking at all his stuff. That's why I don't even like going to my Facebook page to talk to friends anymore. He's soo annoying. Rolling Eyes

I'm sick of following his stupid rules. I can't do ANYTHING. If I follow all of his rules, I won't have a life. He ruins everything. He doesnt want me to have any fun he just wants me to do whatever he says like a freaking robot or something. AND, he's being a hypocrite. He dated at 13, Matt dated at 13 and I can't. That's what annoys me. That's not fair and it doesn't make sense.

I'm gonna ask if Collin can start coming over ever week for dinner and if dad says no, I'm still gonna date him. I don't care.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 06:11 am
@Ragman,
Ragman wrote:

Right NOW at 13.5 yrs dating is not a big deal but you have to trust us that will change. You may deal with it now as it's no big deal, but this is not just about how you deal with this. You'll have a partner with their own way of looking at things.

I bet you can't imagine being jealous either, right? It more than likely it'll happen. And when those feelings (or others) occur, you might find yourself being surprised how much deeper you'll feel and how vastly differently.


Well, it's not a big deal NOW so I don't see why I can't date NOW. Nothings gonna change, and if it does it won't be soo bad. You guys don't know Collin. He's not like the other guys at school. He's amazing and I've had a crush on him for soo long and now we're finally boyfriend and girlfriend and I'm happy and everything's perfect and I'm not gonna let dad ruin it with his stupid rules.

Why would I feel jealous? Jealous of other girls, right? I wont be jealous because Collin says that I'm the only girl he likes. He doesn't even care about other girls. And you said "I'll be surprised by how much deeper I'll feel" but I already feel alot for Collin. I really really like him and I like being his girlfriend and I like hanging out. When I said dating isn't a big deal, I meant that when we date all we're doing is hanging out and stuff, we're not doing other stuff so me wanting to date isn't a big deal. I didn't mean that I don't care about Collin.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 06:13 am
@MMarciano,
MMarciano wrote:

I was a late bloomer. I started dating when I was 16. Morgan is the only person I ever fell in love with and I’ve never been happier.


Aww! You guys are perfect! I'm glad you're together and happy and everything. You guys are awesome. Mr. Green Smile
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  3  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 06:25 am
@GracieGirl,
Quote:
He shouldn't be checking my stuff anyway. I'm never on his Facebook page looking at all his stuff.


I feel your frustration as I experienced something similar as the son of someone whom I felt was an old-fashioned parent. This is where you're hazy about the role of a parent - your parent. It is the nature of children to want to push back against their parents control. 'The lessons you learn now will cement in your head how you'd do it differently as a parent.

He's the parent and 'cause he has this responsibility he feels that it's his job to watch over you. Yes, sadly... that means FB snooping, too. It's his right as a parent. When you're 16, it should be a bit different - not that it would be a consolation to you. When you're out from under his 'watch' it will be different.

Remember his job is to raise the best Gracie that he knows how. The way he chooses to do it (in this particular way) differs from your idea.
This is somehting you need to overcome but not avoid.

See if you can bring your b/f over for dinner and allow him to see how your b/f is up close. It might make all the difference. Show your dad you are not sneaking around and want him to know someone you like and who you feel that he should open his mind and heart to also.

Things WILL change. You'll change and he'll change. There are big changes from 14 to 16 and then 18. Just because you aren't aware of the change, it doesn't mean trhe change didn't happen and aren't going to happen.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 06:27 am
@aidan,
aidan wrote:

I think 13 is too young for a 'boyfriend'. A friend who is a boy is fine - but yeah - I agree with your dad. If you guys want to go out with a group of friends , that'd be okay, but no, I wouldn't really want my daughter going out alone with a boy at 13.

And the whole cell phone thing is another issue. I didn't let my daughter have a cell phone until she was 16. If someone wanted to call her, they could call her on the home phone. I wanted to know who was calling her. I don't think that's unreasonable- for a parent to know who is in their child's life. I think it's necessary and helps keep children safe.


Surprised WHAT?!

13 isn't too young for anything. What's the difference between a 13 year old and a 16 year old. 3 years, that's it! I'm as mature as a 16 year old NOW.

And "a boy who's a friend" what am I 5? That's soo elementary school. And if you're going out with a group of friends, that isn't dating.

Your daughter didn't have a cell phone until she was 16?! I've had a cellphone since I was 10. Parents are nosy and they wanna control everything. That's soo unfair, aidan. Gosh...
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  3  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 06:32 am
@GracieGirl,
The mistake we make as teens (or even from one decade to the next) is that we feel that the way we think at the moment is the way we'll think in the future. You can't possibly know how you will think in a year or two. You have to learn how to accept not having control and accept what you can't change.

That isn't to say that I think there is a thing wrong with you dating Colin or your relationship. However, your Dad needs you to show him that you are worthy of more trust. Remember the Fb entry was not wise but not the end of the world either.

This is what we learn from just living and observing. Only more life experience can give you that. No matter how smart and mature we are - even when we are ahead of the curve like I feel you are. Your perspective will change. That is what life teaches us. Same thing goes for me too.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 06:40 am
@CalamityJane,
CalamityJane wrote:

Gracie, how old is Collin?
You are on average one or two years younger than your classmates, so for them dating is okay. If your Dad feels you are too young to date, then you have to obey his wishes, I am sorry. I am definitely on his side here.


(sigh) Collin's 15. So he's not that much older.
I'm not too young to date. And why does he or anyone else get to decide if I'm too young or not? I'm a teenager now, I'm in high school. I should be able to decide some stuff for myself. He doesn't know what I'm not ready for. He isn't me. And he let my brother date at 13! I'm wayy more mature than my brother was, so how is that fair?

AND, if it's okay for me to be in classes with kids that are 2+ years older than why isnt it okay for me to date them? He never answers that.

I mean, think about it. When you guys were 16 and you started dating you were in highschool. When I'm 16 I'm gonna be in college.
I not a stupid little kid that guys are just gonna take advantage of and that's how you guys and my dad are making it seem. Sad
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 06:42 am
@mismi,
Haha!

Well, you were in the same grade I'm in now. Smile
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 06:50 am
@Roberta,
Roberta wrote:

GracieGirl wrote:

Roberta wrote:

Gracie, Mostly my boyfriend and I were together at parties. We didn't do much in the way of dating (going someplace together).

I said that my father was a lot less thrilled than my mother. You're dealing with a father--the male of the species. I suspect that he's reluctant to let you date because he remembers what he was like when he was your age--and what he wanted from a girl. He's feeling protective of you.


Well, that's still dating Roberta. He was still your boyfriend. You talked on the phone and texted and stuff, right?


Hey, are most moms cooler about dating or do they think it's a big deal too? I don't get the protective part either. I mean, I'd understand if I had a sucky boyfriend and my dad was worried and protective but thats not how it is. Collin's sweet and awesome and perfect. I like being his girlfriend and dads ruining it.


ROFLMAO, Gracie. Texting? When I was 13 there were no wireless phones, let alone mobile phones. There were no personal computers. There were telephones. Period. He and I didn't talk on the phone much. We saw each other every day in class.

I can't tell you how all mothers react. I only know that mine was thrilled. All she wanted was for me to get married. I guess she figured I was starting off on the right foot.

I don't think that your boyfriend not being sucky is the issue. He's a guy, and you're a girl, and your father feels protective. I think it's natural.


Oh! Haha! Sorry about the texting thing. I forget that things were different back then. But, no wireless phones, no cell phones, no iPods, computers. Jeez! What did you do for fun. Surprised Wink

I think my dad could be protective without being a jerk about it. I mean, I don't think i should be grounded just because I want a boyfriend. That's stupid.
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 06:52 am
@Roberta,
Roberta wrote:

Aha! Thanks. At least I was past the stone tablet form of communication. We had paper back in those days. And I do remember the introduction of the ball-point pen.

Shocked

The ball point pen?


0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 06:54 am
@GracieGirl,
It's not a simple cut-and-dry issue, a we all can see ... based upon your being 2 years younger than some of your classmates. You have to be patient and keep keep talking it over with your Dad..but do NOT do things behind his back 'cause that would torpedo your relationship and would make him question your ability to be trusted more.

I wish you all the best with this issue, Gracie. For me to tell you that you should avoid rebelling would be to try turn the tide back. If you had a mother to bounce this off of it would be easier. Perhaps somehow if there were a third person to help moderate his stand it would make such a difference.
jespah
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 07:16 am
@GracieGirl,
GracieGirl wrote:
jespah wrote:
Hmm. I was first kissed when I was 9. But that was not a boyfriend, per se. I also "dated" in summer camp, which essentially meant you kissed (sometimes more, generally not) and also held hands and spent time together. That was early/mid-teens, 13, 14, that kinda thing.

Had my first real date-date I think when I was 15. Keep in mind I was younger than everyone because of when I'm born, plus I skipped a grade. So 15 meant I was in my junior year in High School. I went to a party with one guy named Tom and left with a different guy, also named Tom. Tom D. (the second one) and I dated all summer; he came to my house and met my folks. He was a sweet guy but not Jewish. My folks kinda liked him, though, despite the fact that he was a bit long-haired; he was going to go to college for engineering, and was a year ahead of me (his sister and I were in class together).

It ended when he went off to college, to Drexel University. He had won a local scholarship and all. I remember hearing about him when he graduated college; he turned around and funded a scholarship for another kid to come after him. Dunno what happened to him but I imagine he is designing bridges somewhere. Smile


You had your first kiss when you were 9?! Laughing
I had my first 'real' kiss with Collin last week at lunch. It lasted about 5 seconds but it was perfect except his lips were chapped.
So, you started dating at 15. That's a year and a half away for me. Too long.

I skipped grades too. So, even though I'm 13 I'm a sophomore and all the kids in my class are 15 and 16 but I hang out with my bestfriend Natalie and her friends and they're 16 and 17. So 'all' my friends are dating.

Haha! I like your Tom story. Smile You're Jewish? Jewish confuses me alittle. Is that a religion or race? Aren't you blonde? I thought all Jewish people were dark haired.


Well, at nine, with Robbie, it was more like he just grabbed me. It was during a field trip.

And the 15 thing was real dating, as in he would come to the house, etc. and we would go out for an ice cream cone or to the movies or whatever. I did kiss guys in between (mainly at summer camp, probably because there was less parental hovering and the freedom of summer, plus the idea was that it would not last/peers would not see). But I don't remember actually seeing anyone for more than once or twice until Tom D. (then Steve after him, then Chris - I thought I was in love with Chris -, right before college. College was a very different story).

I know what you mean about seeing everyone else doing these things and you can't/people think you're too young, etc. I was 13 and I was in 9th grade. Everyone else was coming up on 15. There were definitely couples. For me, it felt lonely, like I was left out.

Yeah, I'm a nice Jewish gal (it's a religion, not a race. There are black people who are Jews!). The current hair color is from a bottle but I really was a blonde kid. There are those of us with some Polish ancestry. But only a few of my cousins on either side of the family are blonde. RP is also Jewish and he's auburn. We'll have a Chanukah party here with Roberta, Ragman, jcboy and anyone else in the tribe. Of course everyone is invited.
Ragman
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 07:22 am
@jespah,
If us Jews were a race, it would be a very l-o-n-g race (unless we could hire someone to run for us/me).
jespah
 
  1  
Sun 4 Dec, 2011 07:37 am
@Ragman,
Oy!

-- rimshot --
0 Replies
 
 

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