What would your gut be telling you?

The story so far reads like a thriller.

My gut tells me the man doing the staring lost a loving relationship with his son after coming out to his family. I do think our gut reactions are influenced by our own experiences. I've seen that same look from someone who lost all contact with his children after leaving his wife for his lover.

It is ironic that after Chai gave her gut reaction about 2 strangers, some of us gave our gut reactions about Chai. Part of the give and take for starting a discussion thread.

How is that ironic?

You are correct, it is not ironic. It is something we should all expect if we initiate a discussion thread.

Once again, we're on the same wavelength, JPB --

I agree, edgar. Chai's telling of the story didn't trip my creep-o-meter but that's because I had a different reference point that her story did trip - the dad who no longer knew his son.

I didn't see the look she saw; I only saw in my mind's eye the look I'd seen which may be altogether different.

I do think her creep-o-meter was tripped and vigilance around children is always a good thing in a "better safe than sorry" way. Mom was aware of the guys and may or may not now say something to Dad, the men themselves, or someone else.

I also agree with tsar, however, that sometimes these things can take on a life of their own and the man is at risk for some negative reactions that he doesn't necessarily deserve - particularly if hard staring is part of his culture.

Sistah!!!

I 'm trying to REMEMBER, if the Mexicans stare a lot.





David

Maybe the dad has some sort of gaydar - that thing that relates you others of a same orientation that you have some gay tendencies. Maybe these gay guys like skinny legs?

I'd probably be feeling the same if I were you - doesn't mean the mom or you will do anything - other than keep an eye on these guys - after reading all this, if I were you or her or even me - I'd be keeping my eyes on them as well.

My gut says they could be pedos - but then again I thought some innocent man sitting on the plane next to me was a terrorist ready to blow up the plane once - so I'd suggest keeping your eyes open, but not do anything unless something concrete happens.

gay dads with their kids, and without, lesbians with their kids, and without, straight people with their kids, and without,
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I have been reading about what happened and I am still not sure what has been going on.
This happens at a swimmingpool with people from all walks of life.
From the description is sounds as if there were more homosexual parents than straight parents even thou homosexual parents is a minority. Is is correct ?
How can one know for sure if a couple or a single person with kids are homosexuals? Just because two men/women take their kids to a swimmingpool without their partner does that mean they are homosexual? I would say no.
Then two men a foreigner and a fat bald headed man - homosexuals? - enter the scene and they are pedeophils because they watch a small boy. Maybe they were talking about something which happened hours or days ago and looked at the little boy without any thought about him as a sexual object.
They are probably not the only ones watching children out of pure pleasure of watching happy children.
If it had been two lesbians and a little girl would one then react the same way and think they were pedeophils?
Of course one should watch your kids as a hawk all the time, but does not mean one has to see something evil in everybody around you.

I didn't read the entire thread, so I don't know if anyone else had my gut reaction or not, but my gut reaction is:

1) we have no clear indication as to whether the two men who were looking at the little boy are gay or not. Did they kiss or hug or fondle each other under the water or something else I missed?

2) If they were in fact gay and were looking at the little boy maybe it's because they were a couple who loved and desired to have a child of their own.

3)If they had spoken to the little boy, my gut reaction would have been that they enjoyed and appreciated his joie de vivre and childlike sweetness as much as you stated that you did Chai.
My first thought when men, gay-seeming or not, speak to children is certainly NOT that they desire to have sex with them.
Why would I think that?
I wouldn't.

4) I also wondered how you could tell by looking at someone that they were a lesbian or gay couple with children instead of maybe two neighborhood women who brought their kids to the pool at the same time. I used to hang out at the pool with my friend Donna and our combined four children. I wonder how many people looked at us sitting on the side of the pool watching our kids and thought - 'hmmm - nice lesbian couple out for an evening swim with their kids.
That just makes me laugh


Those are my gut reactions.

Oh ******* Jesus Christ you people, I have had enough of this ****.

Did no one read what my 2nd paragraph of OP was, or what I have repeated ad nauseum since then?

Since there are so many people impatient and chaffing at the bit to connect my simple observation that these 2 men were gay, and the the fact I am not connecting homosexuality to pedophilia, I suppose I will have to cater to the the weakest link, the lowest common demonimator, and cut and paste this once again...

As a preface to all this, I'd like for this not to become some kind of debate judging the quality, or lack of of preceptions. This story does contain references to sexual orientation, whether preceived or real. My intent is not to indicate anyones sexual orientation make them more or less likely to arouse my suspicions, my gut that something is amiss. I am merely going to tell the story as it appeared in front of my eyes. People from all life styles/ages etc. pass in front of my eyes every day, and I personally celebrate the diversity of the people I come across....ok, enough of that.

In other words, for the PC police....and pay attention now....are you reading this....?
I am NOT CONNECTING PEDOPHILIA WITH HOMOSEXUALITY.

I was trying to paint a picture of what was in front of my eyes.

The 2 men happened to be gay....and ******* no they weren't fondling each other under the water or above.
I am not going to pretend to be such a naive person to say I cannot much of the time, yes and I said it, much of the time identify someone as being gay. Does that make me hate them? No. No more than looking at someone and saying "they're (insert description)" makes me hate them.

As far as assuming "they're going to adopt a baby. Maybe they were just observing the life force of this wonderful child"

Why this child and not one of the 20 or 30 children in and out of the pool? They were not observing the miracle of childhood with anyone else.

These 2 people, whether gay or not...as I again said before....were NOT giving any indicators they were a commited couple. My belief from my observation....and no one else was there to observe, so your observations are moot....was that these were 2 people who where more casually together, more than being together they were working as partners toward a common goal.

I fully respect what someone gut says. Notice I have argued with a single person as to their gut.

What is royally pissing me off is this obssession with their homosexuality. Yes, these 2 people were homosexual. Enough of the "how could you know that" bullshit.
No that doesn't ******* make them a pedophile.

I was freaking describing the scene.

Oh, so when I give my gut reaction (which is what you asked for) it elicits a string of obscenities, but you respect everyone's gut reaction?

Yeah - okay.

Unless I see two men kiss full on the lips - I have no idea whether or not they're gay.
In fact, I know I've seen men I know are NOT gay kissing each other on the lips - so even that means less than nothing.
Unless I see people fondling children sexually - I have no idea whether or not they're pedophiles.

You apparently do - well you have different gut reactions than I do.

This reminds me of an excerpt from a book I was rereading for a class last night: 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time,' by Mark Haddon:

'There are three men on a train. One of them is an economist and one of them is a logician and one of them is a mathematician. And they have just crossed the border into Scotland and they see a brown cow standing in a field from the window of the train and the cow is standing parallel to the train.

And the economist says, 'Look, the cows in Scotland are brown.'
And the logician says, 'No. There are cows in Scotland of which one, at least, is brown.'
And the mathematician says, 'No. There is at least one cow in Scotland, of which one side appears to be brown.'

That's about all you can truthfully say you know when describing your 'scene': ' I saw two men in a pool looking at a boy'.
Anything else is conjecture.

Then you are either a liar, overly naive, and idiot, or all three.

It's that kind of "oooo...I could Never tell is someone was gay" comment that is actually insulting, IMO to gays.

Whatever happened to Gay Pride?

I can name off the top of my head about 5 or 6 people I know that if you said to them "Wow, I could never tell by looking at you that you're gay", they'd reply to the effect "Are you ******* kidding me?"

Sorry, maybe I'm just uber observant, and it shocks you that to me, it's not hard to see.

If you have no idea honey, you need to get out more.

Yeah - aiden claimed right away he didn't read the entire thread.

And then like others states facts as opposed to your question - what does your gut tell you?

You tell your gut - there is nothing wrong with what your gut tells you - it is how you feel - feelings aren't wrong.

It would be different if you actually acted out toward these men - you are right to be protective - you see something that appears to be out of place - the mom did as well. Doesn't mean you are going to even speak with these guys, just keep your eyes out which is an appropriate way to act.

Doesn't mean these guys aren't just pecular men rather than pedos or gay or bi or anything - just odd. And when some one stands out around children - the responsible and sensible thing is to watch out for them.

Example - a man at work once told me - he got these odd looks when he attended a young nephews sporting event. He saw the other parents there eyeing him suspiciuosly - he told me he didn't take offense, they should - he wasn't a parent and he did not attend these games before, they should watch out for their kids.

I am neither a liar, overly naive, and idiot, or all three for not to seeing what sexual preferences people have of one single reason.
I am much more interested in a person than their sexual preferences. It is none of my business.
You are just the oposite, as you seem to be able to pick everybody as a gay, lesbian or not. You like to go to the swimmingpool and stare at people and pick out their sexual preferences. My gut tells me that is a bit weird.

I've seen straight women kiss full on the lips before.

I've seen some straight men kiss full on the lips as well.

Some times this is simply cultural.

I think it would be more realistic to admit that "gayness" is ambiguous. For example, I walk around my house singing Broadway show tunes and I avidly watch foreign movies. I am neither gay nor bisexual.