What would your gut be telling you?

The person may not know what my impressions were, but I may behave unfriendly toward that person, and then, if my impressions were wrong, I may have missed out on a good friendship.

I suck at being able to program a cell phone, or understanding the rules of any sports game...

Gut feelings come from the normal senses, and tempered by previous experience. What your senses are picking up may be very subtle, but the sensations are real.

Off topic, I'm sure, but I was looking at a lady in the laundromat today. Actually, I was watching her ice cream cone. Every time she looked my way, which got to be kind of often, I would lean just a little closer and try to look hungry. She didn't even offer me a little lick. Later, I bought a package of miniature donuts and ate them right in front of her. Revenge is sweet.

Off topic, I'm sure, but I was looking at a lady in the laundromat today. Actually, I was watching her ice cream cone. Every time she looked my way, which got to be kind of often, I would lean just a little closer and try to look hungry. She didn't even offer me a little lick. Later, I bought a package of miniature donuts and ate them right in front of her. Revenge is sweet.

I'd like to relate a story of something that happened last evening. It's been something that keeps coming up again and again in my mind. I do always try trust my gut, but I'm wondering what other peoples reactions/observances would have been.

As a preface to all this, I'd like for this not to become some kind of debate judging the quality, or lack of of preceptions. This story does contain references to sexual orientation, whether preceived or real. My intent is not to indicate anyones sexual orientation make them more or less likely to arouse my suspicions, my gut that something is amiss. I am merely going to tell the story as it appeared in front of my eyes. People from all life styles/ages etc. pass in front of my eyes every day, and I personally celebrate the diversity of the people I come across....ok, enough of that.

I go to a arge public pool near my house most evenings. It's a different one from which I've gone to in years past. Bigger, more diverse crowd. I like it a lot. Some evenings crowded, some not. Yesterday was more on the crowed side. I'll be honest, the reason I wear reflective swim googles when going there is because I really enjoy watching peoples interactions, especially parents with their little ones. I don't want them to think I'm staring at them in particular, I just love catching the nuances of relationships. I think I'm very observant about that.

If this story is long, it's because I'm trying to eliminate any questions of what I saw.

When I was going into the pool area, a man, early to mid thirties, and his little boy, maybe 3, 3 and a half, were walking in front of me. The little boy caught my attention because he was just so full of trying to absorb everything around him. He was so happy to be with his dad, going to the pool.

They went off to put their towels down, and I tossed my stuff down and got right in the pool. There was a little girl standing in the water right by the ladder, so I guess that's why I didn't realize we were at the last 2 minutes of a break time, when the life guards make everyone get out of the pool. The lifeguards didn't say anything, I guess they didn't think it was worth it.

I mention this because while I was in the water, before the "everybody can get back in" whistle, I noticed this man, mid twenties, giving me a very intense look. When the whistle blew, I thought "DOH! No wonder he was staring!" My 2nd clue was when more than 25 people jumped in.

Intense look guy (ILG) was Mexican (later verified in my mind because I heard his accent) was with another guy, a little older, maybe earlier 30's, who was white, a little balding, fair skinned white guy (BFWG). They got up together, got in the pool together, treading wather together and talking. If someone asked me at that moment, I would have said it was 2 gays guys at the pool.

This pool is a great mix of all kinds of people. Black, white, brown, gay, straight, gay dads with their kids, and without, lesbians with their kids, and without, straight people with their kids, and without, old young, attractive, average, and other than average looking.

The dad with the little kid ended up standing near me, his little boy jumping off the side of the pool, dad there to catch him, boy paddling 3 feet back to the side, to do it all over again. Again, I noticed them because at one point when the boy was caught up by the dad, he said, very matter of factly "Daddy?"

"yeah?"

"I like to swim."

It was just so sweet.

The dad eventually backed a few feet away from the side with his son, still in standing water, so the kid could paddle around him.

At this time, the ILG and BFWG were swimming (treading really) closer to the edge of the pool. BFWG said in what sounded like a coquettish voice, to ILG "I saw you looking."
I saw ILG quickly glance over and back from what BFWG had said he was looking at, and I saw that it was the dad and little kid. No one was behind them, or around them.

I'll say now that the dad was a totally average looking guy, maybe even a 4.5 on a scale of one to 10. Just a regular dad looking guy. Maybe a little slump shouldered, skinny legs, not unattractive, just not anyone you'd take notice of. Not someone you'd say "wow, that's my type"

Since no one was wandering far from where they were, I could hear what was being said next, and see (because of side looking through my "you can't see my eyes" goggles.)

The 2 guys then had this brief interchange that's hard to describe, but I know we've all heard it.
Like when 2 people know each other well, and they don't need to say an entire thought, or communicates a meaning with a glance, raised eyebrow, a look away, etc.

This kind of thing went back and forth a few times. It bothered me. I looked at the dad and thought "maybe one of these guys, or both of them knows this man. maybe he's gay too. Or maybe he's closeted, that's why they aren't directly talking to him." I watched the dad, and it became clear he didn't have any idea who the 2 guys were, or even for that matter, noticed them. More on that later.

I was, more importantly, wondering if they were looking at the dad, or the boy.

So I don't know, a half hour goes by. The 2 guys get out of the pool and start to dry off, like they're going to leave. the BFWG sitting down on a concrete wall to put on shoes.
At that moment a man came walking by, really handsome, well built. Either he was gay or very metrosexual. He walked between where BFWG was sitting, and ILG was standing. Neither on of them gave him more than a glance. I sure did, regardless of whether he was straight or gay, he was just a fine looking human. I'd already spent some time admiring a fine looking female human.

Within a minute the dad and little boy got out of the pool and they walked between the 2 guys. If I wasn't sure before that the dad didn't know these 2, now I was. He wasn't playing oblivious to them, he was oblivious. He was just a dad walking with his little boy back over to their blankets. Him with his skinny pale legs, slightly slumped shoulders, probably thinking of wrapping it up and driving home.

The reaction was subtle, wouldn't have been noted by anyone unless they were being observed, as I was doing. Both looked, tracked with their eyes, had non verbal facial communication with each other. The ILG then looked down and away, again like the BFWG was going to say something again. It was impossible to positively say who they were looking at.

If the ILG hadn't given me a look when I was in the pool and later realized I shouldn't have been, I never would have noticied either of them. But now I have noticied them.

I'm not asking "what should I do?" nothing happened, there's nothing to do. If I ever saw something happen, you'd have to shot me to keep me from getting involved or telling someone.

The reason I brought up sexual orientation was because in this world, anyone can look at anyone they think is attractive, same sex or not. A gay person can look at someone in a sexual manner at someone they have no business looking at. A straight person can look at someone in a sexual manner at someone they have no business looking at. However, since only men were involved in this, it was a factor I wanted to bring up.

I do know I will notice if I ever see ILG or BFWG again. My gut tells me it's right to notice them again.

I saw a couple of guys at the pool today. I think they might be gay pedophiles. I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure.

I can only guess how much queer hate you have been through, Sturgis, but I don't think that is on Chai's screen, I know her better than that - though I'll admit there is plenty of hate running around even now. My second serious lover turned out to be gay (no one will believe me about how good it was, in itself a kind of fear), back when quiet was mandatory.

I don't have any idea re the data re child molesting, broken down to age groups, re who does all that.

Don't assume the rest of us wallow in ignoramosity.

My saying she (chai2) was a bigot was extreme, however, she clearly had preconceived notions (we just about all do).