What would your gut be telling you?

This goes no further, between us joe.
Go ahead and take the last word, to get it out of the way.

Zymurgy.

Now that's an awesome Scrabble word.

Sooo....yeah.

I just came back from the pool.
I decided to leave when they blew the 7 o'clock break whistle. Way too croweded anyway. Mondays always are.

As I'm walking toward the ladder, I see the little boy, this time with his mom, and her friend and kid.

As I grabbed my towel, she was standing nearby and I asked, "Is that your little boy?"
Yeah.
I told her, saying what caught my attention was the "I saw you looking". Of course she was listening intently.
I ended with, I didn't say anything, you know, because your husband left before they did, nothing happened. Just wanted you to be aware.

She said, and said this exactly "Were these 2 gay guys, one of them Mexican?"

The conversation didn't go much further, she thanked me. I'm not going to say exactly how she said it, but she indicated she'd seen them, but had never mentioned it to her husband.

She notices too.

Yeah, I'm just making **** up.

Chai, you're going to get someone beaten to death (literally) with your delusions and wild accusations and all you'll do is wash your hands off at the end of day?

Why wouldn't she have mentioned it to her husband, I wonder? I'm glad you spoke to her, chai.

Not everyone is violent, you know... some people just get more vigilant. Why would anyone beat them up? All they have is suspicion, at this point.

Not with Chai so willing to throw napalm onto the fire. She's going on this crusade here and most likely at the pool where she'll end up lighting some sociopath's fuse who will either pounce on one of these guys or get a rally of his beer drinking friends to tag team up against these unsuspecting individuals.

I'm assuming you read the newspaper on occasion Mame. Unprovoked violence against gay men isn't some never happened fairy tale. Chai's acting like her suspicion is plain evidence incarnate.

I'm sorry, but did you not read what I said?

The mother had ALREADY noticed these 2 men....when she was with her boy, not with the husband around. These 2 men were watching her son when she was with the kid. So, they were not checking out the husband.

Gay or straight, she was paying attention to them.
I did not find her comment homophobic, or bigoted. She was using the same indentifiers I used if I had to pick them out of a crowd for someone. It was not what they were, or what they looked like that alarmed her. It was because they were watching her son.

She saw it.
I saw it.
How many other people involved in their lives have seen it?

No one is going to walk up to these 2 and beat the **** out of them.
Jesus H. Christ, give me credit for a little bit of intelligence.

You know how if something bad happens, and people come out of the wordwork saying "I thought something was funny, but I just didn't want to say anything."?
They all sit around afterwards saying to each other "I wish I'd said something to someone."

Delusions and wild accusations?

I only can assume you are joking.

mame, the same reason I told the woman, and not the man, she indicated why she had not said anything to him.

Are these 2 men pedophiles?
I have no ******* idea.
But from what both of us have seen, they are acting in a way that arouses suspection.

Yes, I should have walked up to the woman and said "these 2 guys were watching your husband and son, but I'm sure it's just because they're in the process of adopting one of their own, so you should take it as a big compliment."

Damn and good night nurse.

Pardon me tsar, but where the **** to you get that?

The...woman...was...already....aware...of....these....2....men.....looking...at....her...son.

She....had....not....and....was....not....going....to.....tell....her.....husband...

Frankly, I'm much more than surprised at you.

Would you feel better if this was straight guys?

I absolutely feel ok with telling the mom, after finding out she had seen the same thing.
I would not have felt ok at all about telling the father, especially after finding out he knew nothing about it.

And no, I've lit no fuse, because there is no one else to tell. I told the appropriate party.
I haven't even told my OWN husband about this for God's sake.
Give me a little credit.

And it has already been explained to their likely motivation. That they are a couple in wish to adopt. It's the likeliest of explanations.

Since you are not a forensic psychologist, clearly your observations are ... as described in these past dozen or so pages worthless. Did you bother talking to these gentlemen? You work in the human relations dept. Allegedly your skill set involves asking questions and reading between the lines. Ask them about the weather. Throw in a couple of comments about how kids make you happy. Ask them if they have kids of their own. Do I need to spell the obvious to you?

I suspect you don't know your own prejudices Chai. If you were so worried about these gentlemen, you should have called the police. Oh right! Because you DON'T HAVE ANY EVIDENCE AND THE LIKELIEST STORY IS THAT THIS BIT OF HOMOPHOBIA will end up on the news if you called the police on them and their motives were as innocent as the children in the swimming pool.

So you're assuming 4 things:

1) That chai's on a crusade.
2) there's a sociopath at the pool
3) that the sociopath will beat one of these guys
4) and that they drink and do tag-team beatings

That's an awful lot of assumptions!

Plus, we don't KNOW that they're gay , do we? Maybe they're not. Gay men aren't necessarily paedophiles. Maybe they're sick and maybe they're not.

Why do you assume that chai is fanning flames? All she's doing is following her gut and making an alert. Nothing wrong with that - in fact, it's all to the good. More information is better than not enough. If it's all innocent, no harm done. But best to be aware there MIGHT be a danger, no? That's why there's a word called 'Warning". Warning - fire hazard. Warning, road out ahead. Warning - flood zone. What chai did was give a head's up - ie a warning. She was not inciting anything, and if it had been my kid or grandchild, I would have appreciated it and kept an eye out.

Simple as that.

I've followed most of this, chai. I agree with your thinking in the matter. I think it is probable the men were admiring but not planning to act. One never knows. Best to be vigilant, where children are concerned.

You know what?

I have a few phone calls to make.
I have to call my step daughter, my niece, 2 of my sister in laws, my best friend of over 35 years, my doctor, my veterinarian, about 25% of the people I work with, and all of their partners and let them know I can no longer celebrate holidays, do business with, have them visit me, or have any contact whatsoever, because they are gay.

I hope my step daughter doesn't tell her dad, because I have to sleep with the guy.

I'm gonna be pretty busy for a few hours.

I don't know, maybe these guys weren't gay. I guess I should call anyone else I know on the 1-10 scale and tell them to buzz off too.

Maybe I should stop accepting my own comany, because on that 1-10 scale I'm not at one end or the other either, but a 1 point or 2 shy one way or the other of 5.
I hope no one finds out I'm a 3 or an 7.

thanks edgar.
the voice of reason.

Something I have never said out loud, or written. Never thought to, not that I've ever been ashamed., but right now it seems right.

If I had to do it all over again, back in 5th grade I would have kissed Gail Norris and told her I loved her.

Forty some years later, and I still think of her several times a year, and it's always with wonderful feelings.

So, **** ya'll with your homophobia talk.

So what tsar, you're gay, do you think you cornered the market on something?

Oh, like no one realizes it.

Yes, it could be a couple who wishes to adopt, but why would they so blatantly stare at the boy - even to the extend that the mother has noticed?

There are certain rules to follow with children that are not your own: a) don't engage them in a conversation without a parent present; b) don't offer them anything without prior approval from a parent; c) don't stare at children in public places.

The couple could have come up to the father and told him about an upcoming adoption, if indeed this would be the case. They could have engaged Dad in a conversation, more so than with the mother perhaps, but none of it happened. What did happen is that they stared at the kid in a manner that made other people take notice and feel queasy about including the own mother as it happened more than once.

When it comes to looking after small children, the more eyes the better!
I'd rather be called paranoid and homophobic than having an utter feeling of guilt for having done zilch in case something does happen.

I've been following this thread for a while, and I think you are all off base.

these guys are obviously cannibals.

I'd have them checked for garlic and sage...

??? WTF ?? Says who ?

If I had been in your place, I would have seen it from my own perspective, of course. But the two watching the child apparently were not particularly discreet. As for recognizing homosexuals, sometimes it can be done by a short time of observance, but very often not. There were two men I once thought to be a couple, but turns out they were business partners, married with children and after years knowing them, no evidence of being gay. I knew a gay man who was also a pedophile. I knew another pedophile who was not in my observance remotely gay. In the end, it is usually best to with-hold judgement in these matters. When speaking of impressions, which are usually not shared with the rest of the world, judgement my be more severe, until we sort them through.