What would your gut be telling you?

@wandeljw,

It's neither wandell.
My coming back was a response to this unbelieveable tendency of so many people to assume what I would consider far fetched scenerios, rather than what was in front of your face.

And yes, I consider "maybe they were trying to adopt a baby" or saying "this is ambiguous" or trying to turn to into a homophobe thread far fetched.

If this is any sort of crusade at all, it's directed at people who are willing to turn a blind eye, or are walking around unobservant to the goings on in the world.

If I feel any sort of obsession, it's with the dismay that people would rather pretend everythings just so open to interpretation, that they are unwilling to risk saying they feel something is wrong.

I can't speak for you wandell, in your statement of "Gut feelings are sometimes correct" maybe that's how it is for you. Maybe you don't have strong observational skills. Maybe you feel that a person has to have a degree in some specific science to be able to read people. You are, by your own admission, unwilling to inadvertantly offend anyone, which, all due respect wandell, is very dispiriting to me. You have yourself said you don't want to experience guilt feelings over maybe being wrong.
Your gut is only sometimes correct. Through my life I have found my gut is seldom wrong.

Now, because I am adding one more brick to a what I consider a sturdy base, again, it's just easier for you to wave it away, calling it an obssesion or crusade.
Many people are just fearful of seeing what is in front of them, for fear of causing offense.

To me, that can be pretty evil.
Those who do evil rely of people not only turning a blind eye themselves, but try to make those who see what is there appear obsessed.

I'd like to address this back to you wandell...

Why are you so fearful of offending someone, even if it means rationalizing away what is happening?
Why are you so afraid to err on the side of protecting a child?

Why are you afraid to question, and watch, and observe what is going on?

Believe me, and I know you realize this, there is a lot more in my life than this thread.
But I do live out my life with commitment to not ignoring what is in front of me.

Not, as others will be quick to accuse, to jump to conclusions, but to really see what is there, and not make excuses.

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@chai2,

...and that, is all I have to say about this.

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@chai2,

Do anticipate a kidnapping ?

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@chai2,

Just how big was this boner and where is this pool located? Smile

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@chai2,

There are definately people that are willing to be involved rather than "mind their own business". Unfortunately there are way too many people who just mind their own business.

There is nothing wrong for watching out for others. This doesn't mean Chai is going run to the police and say - hey watch out for the mexican with a boner he's gotta be picking up little boys.

It means she is keeping her eye out. Being a natural mom - who is not only concerned about her own child, but other children. There is a potential danger here and she is watching out - at least this is what I read from here. I'd probably do the same thing.

I say good for you - for being willing to stand up for others - it is much easier to turn a blind eye and make excuses for this man's behaviour.

1 Reply

@chai2,

chai wrote:

I'd like to address this back to you wandell...

Why are you so fearful of offending someone, even if it means rationalizing away what is happening?
Why are you so afraid to err on the side of protecting a child?

Why are you afraid to question, and watch, and observe what is going on?

I would definitely prefer to err on the side of protecting a child. If I talk to one of the parents and find that they are aware of the situation, I would leave the situation to them. I would not continue to obsess over it.

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@wandeljw,

But this was a different boy - no parent around - just older boys watching him.

I've done the same thing - when a parent isn't around (although they probably should have been) and a child is in potential danger (whether it is from getting hurt or talking with a stranger) - I will keep my eye on them.

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@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

There is nothing wrong for watching out for others. This doesn't mean Chai is going run to the police and say - hey watch out for the mexican with a boner he's gotta be picking up little boys.

Why not?

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@joefromchicago,

joefromchicago wrote:

. I wasn't there to see the menacing member, so I'll just have to take your word for it. There's a pedophile at your local public swimming pool who is scoping out little boys.

Your duty, then, is clear: you must alert the authorities to this potentially serious situation.

Why you're doing it here rather than proceeding through proper channels is something I can't quite fathom.

Had he been waving a gun instead of a dong, I doubt that you'd be so inactive. If you are so sure that your suspicions are correct (and you are certain enough to call those who might express some doubt "******* idiots"), then what are you waiting for?

I expect, then, that the next installment of your dramatic saga will be the story of how you did something other than sit on your ass trying to convince a bunch of people who can't do a goddamn thing about the situation that there's a child molester out there menacing your city's children.

So go.

Go now!

Run run run!

nicely put

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@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

Not, as others will be quick to accuse, to jump to conclusions, but to really see what is there, and not make excuses.

all that seeing and observing is great - but what are you doing about the observation?

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@ehBeth,

Do you really think I'm going to answer that, so others can now bash me for whatever course of action I chose to take (or not)? Rest assured, you needn't have asked that question.
I thought the absence of that information was for an obvious reason.

Maybe the question could be - What would You do about these observations?

Maybe the question could be - At what point would you have decided to take action?

Maybe the question to some people would be - Have you ever Not done something, with avoidable results if you had just not made excuses to justify being inoffensive?
Was your inaction worth maintaining the status quo, at the expense of someone else?

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There was a man in the town I grew up in who was fond of boys. Everyone in town new about him and his preferences and every mother in town cautioned their children against ever being with him. Actually, every kid in town pointed him out to every other kid in town. There was a similar man in the town I lived in as a young adult. Both of these men were infamous in the towns they lived in. Granted, both of these towns were small in comparison to Austin, TX but the point is that Chai is noticing what at least one Mom has already noticed - the man appears to have a predilection for young boys. Whether he's infamous within his community or not is something Chai doesn't know, but the concerns for the well being of the boys is real.

The facts(?) that the man is homosexual and Mexican are moot and (imo) clouded the discussion here. The question is truly one of what should one do when they have concerns of this nature. She's already spoken to the mom of one boy who was aware of the man. She's also witnessed another event that confirms, in her mind at least, that her initial instincts were correct. So, agreeing with joe, to me the next step is to have a talk with someone in authority who can let her know that they're aware of the man, or unaware of him but will check him out at the pool. This person could either be the pool administration or the local police. I'd bump it up to one or the other.

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@chai2,

That's an easy set of questions to answer.

I'd have reported my observations to the pool authorities and likely the police (I don't know your jurisdiction well enough to know that the police are the right group to notify there) at the time of my first observation. I wouldn't have posted here about it at all.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

ehBeth wrote:

That's an easy set of questions to answer.

I'd have reported my observations to the pool authorities and likely the police (I don't know your jurisdiction well enough to know that the police are the right group to notify there) at the time of my first observation. I wouldn't have posted here about it at all.

Thanks for the answers.

Anyone else?

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@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

I thought the absence of that information was for an obvious reason.

I assumed it was because you obviously haven't done anything at all, aside from expressing your concerns to one child's mother and your suspicions to everyone in this forum.

chai2 wrote:

Anyone else?

I concur with ehBeth.

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@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

Do you really think I'm going to answer that

I'll go with what my gut told me to begin with.

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@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

What would your gut be telling you?

I think it would tell me: "Time to get out of the pool and have some French Fries. All that Nancy-Drew action is making me tired and hungry." And since I'm neither female nor gay, I don't even have to figure in the exhaustion that must come from your concentrated staring at a man's erection.

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@chai2,

You tarnished your gut star by saying it was obvious Tsar is gay after he had heatedly argued about what he took as assumptions re gays and child molesting. Your gut apparently works through the internet waves as well.

As I said before, I don't think you are homophobic, but now I do question your jumping at conclusions with assertions.

Also as I said before, only you and the mother were there in the first incidents, and I will at least listen to you on what you saw, as I would with the second incident you saw.

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@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

In whose interest is it to make everyone doubt what they are seeing, intuiting, feeling in their gut?

Witches! Communists! Homosexuals! Well, those, and anyone who values the presumption of innocence too much to override it based on gut instinct.

chai2 wrote:

If I were a pedophile, you could bet your ass I'd be loving this thread, encouraged how we're so afraid to keep our eyes open and see what's really there, and how willing we are to accept any other reason other than something fishy is happening.

You seem to be knowing an awful lot about what pedophiles feel like. My gut is telling me that something is wrong with you!

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@Thomas,

Quote:

You seem to be knowing an awful lot about what pedophiles feel like.

Does that really constitute an awful lot ? All she said was it is encouraging paedophiles if a group decides to give them the benefit of the doubt rather then to stress prevention .

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What would your gut be telling you?

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