Useless Theories

Useless Theory number 2: Maybe the reason we have a high rate of heart disease here in the Sates isn't just about our dietary intake. The people who have come here over the last 500+ years have been risk-takers. Risk-takers have higher levels of testosterone. Testosterone plays a significant role in heart disease.

I've come to the conclusion that there is a valid scientific reason why a buttered (or otherwise covered) slice of bread, if it falls from your hands, will always land on its face, so to speak, never on the unbuttered side. Simple matter of gravity. It's heavier on the buttered side.

My useless theory is that a thread will be visited by gustavratzenhofer if both testosterone and littlek taking a shower is mentioned.

Andrew, someone has done the buttered toast physics already. They dismissed gravity and went with the math behind the rate of fall and the rate of spin (it doesn't have time to flip back up to face up)

Wandel, my theory is that me and shower in the same sentence is not all that exciting.

That's not a useless theory! It's a proven one, but I have to remember where I read it -- Malcolm Gladwell? Something about aha moments. I really think from the New Yorker.

I like this thread though, I seem to fairly often have useless theories, would be great to have someplace to put them.

Oooh, my first one:

Even without the influence of alcohol or any other mind-altering substance, theories often seem far more profound and important at night-time than when revisited the next morning.

(I have written down SO many Big Ideas at night before bed that seem pretty paltry and dumb in the morning.)

I like that one, Soz! (the theories don't have to be wrong!).

Women need a sign that says they are available so men dont waste their time.

I have a theory that men with about 30 grande in the bank seek to tempt ladies who they wouldn't give the time of day to if they had 3 million.

My theory is that eyes and lips are the sexiest parts of a woman.

In practice, though, men always look at the boobs.

Next theory:

At this level of the NFL (divisional championships), every team is talented. What puts them over the top is passion and cohesiveness as a team. My pet theory for a while is that a team that has a gimmick of some kind tends to do better. Twins and their homer hankies, Packers and the Lambeau Leap (it was relatively new when they got to the '97 SB), Chicago Bears and the Superbowl Shuffle, etc.

(I thought of it because Prince just recorded a song for the Vikings which could be just the ticket -- especially if the Vikings beat the Saints and in the interval between now and the SB on February 7th record a video of them singing Prince's song -- imagine Brett cracking up -- gold, I tell ya.) (However the song has to not suck for that to work and I have no idea if it's any good.)

Actually, it's been shown that men look at women's eyes first. Assessing interest.

And then, whether interest is reciprocal or not, they look at her boobs.

My theory is that the theory that eyes and lips are the sexiest parts of a woman isn't a theory, it's true.

My second theory is that those two parts of the body, being as sexy as they are, lead to images of other parts of the body.

Always check out the feet, first. Then work upwards. It's hard to truely ogle once eye contact has been made.

yeah boobs first and then, if they're average I check the rest of the package. It's really just a matter of symmetry.

Granted.

I have a theory that if we closed all the airports to non-official use we could reduce the price of beer to 2p a pint and then there would be nobody left who wanted to use them for private reasons.

I am once again testing the useless theory that if a girl dresses nice and wears makeup that boys will actually talk to her in a club.