Useless Theories

@littlek,

Quote:

I think most of these theories have had help from people other than the ones who posted them. Theories tend to spin out other theories.

Oh right!
In that case, I can definitely refute the theory that the meek shall inherit the earth then?
My observation is that (most of the time) the meek appear to get screwed, quite a bit. Sad observation, I know ... Neutral

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There ya go!

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@littlek,

Yep!

Though, I'm not all that happy, really, about the fate of meek & all .... Wink

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@msolga,

No, it's the poor in spirit who inherit the world. Well, the USA at least, for eight years.

Oops, there goes my new-year's resolution never to make another Bush joke again. But the kinship between your theory and mine was too seductive to let it go.

1 Reply

@Thomas,

Quote:

Oops, there goes my new-year's resolution never to make another Bush joke again. But the kinship between your theory and mine was too seductive to let it go.

Yeah. Sigh, Thomas.
Sometimes it doesn't feel the best to be right, does it? Neutral

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The lack of sleep is in direct opposite relationship to the amount of carbs I eat the next day.

The length of any line in the store or at the airport is in direct proportion to the amount of time you are behind in your day.

Bank pens never work.

The military does nothing efficiently or on time.

Alcohol always taste better when I am on vacation.

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@littlek,

Actually, Mythbusters did a show about that.
It was episode 28, and here are the results...

Quote:

In an extensive and highly objective test the toast showed no statistical preference for landing buttered side-down or up when dropped. It was an even 50-50 split when the final results were compared. However, when pushed off the side of a table, toast showed preference to flip once and land buttered side down.

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@sullyfish6,

sullyfish6 wrote:

The military does nothing efficiently or on time.

Naval Intelligence - Nearly oxymoronic.

Air Force Intelligence - Drop the nearly.

Army Intelligence - Drop the oxy.

Marine Corps -

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The morality of almost no one can withstand the ravages of nationalism. As nationalism rises, morality is quickly extinguished.

Everyone becomes a brandon under the relentless onslaught of nationalist propaganda; some go to a passive silence pretending they are not brandons, but brandons they are.

Nationalism is truly an odd duck. People will defend their country for illegalities that they'd turn their mother in for.

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I have a theory that if you hear a cuckoo before the end of February you should move to higher ground.

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@spendius,

Quote:

I have a theory that if you hear a cuckoo before the end of February you should move to higher ground.

Headin' for the hills as I speak. Smile

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So, lots of cultures and populations say that you should not go to sleep with your hair wet or else you'll get sick. I can think of only 1 real reason why this should be so. If you are a habitual go-to-bed-wet-header your pillow will be repeatedly dampened. In damp conditions, it may become mildewy/moldy and cause sinus issues.

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@littlek,

I have a normative theory: To prevent clueless online postage, people shouldn't talk publically on any topic unless they know as much about it as they would learn from a Dummy book. The downside is that I'll need to read Astrology for Dummies and Counseling Skills for Dummies. Maybe it's not such a good theory after all.

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Today I developed a theory about coins:

The number of quarters in your wallet will be either too low or too high. It will never be "just right".

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@Thomas,

A corollary to Thomas's theory:

Too high a number is always righter than too low.

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The cable guy/mailcarrier/FedEx delivery person will always show during the last ten minutes of the given four hour window, UNLESS that would be convenient for you and you slip out to do a quick errand. In such cases you will return to your apartment to find the "Sorry we missed you slip" inscribed with a time within seconds of your departure.

Joe(Somebody's watching me....... .)Nation

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This just came to me...
If I approach a traffic light nonchalantly it will graciously turn green just as I reach for the brake pedal.
If I scheme and scam to make a green light it will turn yellow and cause me to slam on the brakes.

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I have a theory that people who think that traffic lights are in a conspiracy to make their life a misery are essentially impatient, narcissistic pudding-heads.

Useless Theories

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