shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2009 06:54 am
@OmSigDAVID,
OmSigDAVID wrote:

U got lucky.
Some children are horrors n terrors, burning down the place.


Not luck.
I will absolutely stick my neck out here to be cut, and be cut deep, but those children, unless they have a real mental disorder, are only behaving as they are taught to behave.
Over reactive, nervous, chasing perfection parents raise nervous, uncomfortable, explosive people.
Parenting has taught me that ,, the little things? really are little things.
To me my listo f little things are huge. Most of my little things , other parents would freak out about.
Screaming in a grocery store for example. I dont care. I will not punish her for it, I will not freak out about it, and i will not storm her out of the place just because of embarassment. Kids are kids. They scream . So WHAT.

Now, take that and say.. screaming in a movie? Well there.. that is a rule and that is just rude. She will be removed, but I will not be angry with her. She is a child. And her reactions are extreme because she is still experiencing life for the first time. And sometimes, with a small body no one listens to you .. so you make a big voice . It just makes sense to me.

I am a much more relaxed parent then... well.. i dont KNOW another parent like me and sometimes it feels very alienating. But then I look at my daughter and I know.. I dont have a 'terror'. And all of a sudden, I am reassured beyond measure.
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2009 06:56 am
@sullyfish6,
I am very aware that I projected myself into that. That was the whole reason for writing this down. I had no where else to go with it. I dont belong there and I know this.
I am not her "mother" and I know this
I am not real part of her family.. andI know that too.

but sometimes, you get overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts that you can not control. This thread was a result of that.

And if it takes a different angle , this thread, that is ok Smile
I have said all I needed to say. Dumped all I needed to dump and have worked through how this event made me feel.
Im no longer angry with her. Im no longer frustrated with my family. I am happy that she died so that she does not have to suffer in addiction any longer. I wish she could have LIVED that way, but obviously living was not working for her. Dont hate me for that idea Smile
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2009 09:28 am
@shewolfnm,
shewolfnm wrote:

I have been raped over 30 times.
never once have I hurt anyone sexually. And I never will Smile
This seems unusual.
I don 't mean to be facetious, but Y do u get raped so much ?
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2009 10:20 am
@shewolfnm,
shewolfnm wrote:

OmSigDAVID wrote:

U got lucky.
Some children are horrors n terrors, burning down the place.


Not luck.
I will absolutely stick my neck out here to be cut, and be cut deep,
but those children, unless they have a real mental disorder,
are only behaving as they are taught to behave.
Over reactive, nervous, chasing perfection parents raise nervous,
uncomfortable, explosive people.
Parenting has taught me that ,, the little things? really are little things.
To me my listo f little things are huge. Most of my little things, other parents would freak out about.
Screaming in a grocery store for example. I dont care. I will not punish her for it, I will not freak out about it,
and i will not storm her out of the place just because of embarassment. Kids are kids. They scream. So WHAT.

Now, take that and say.. screaming in a movie? Well there.. that is a rule and that is just rude.
She will be removed, but I will not be angry with her. She is a child.
And her reactions are extreme because she is still experiencing life
for the first time. And sometimes, with a small body no one listens to you ..
so you make a big voice . It just makes sense to me.

I am a much more relaxed parent then... well.. i dont KNOW another parent like me and sometimes it feels very alienating.
But then I look at my daughter and I know.. I dont have a 'terror'. And all of a sudden, I am reassured beyond measure.
I have read of serial murderers who have said that in their
early youth, thay had a hobby of killing small animals;
e.g., one who snuck into a chicken farmer 's place
and killed many chickens, on many nights. He did not say that anyone
taught him to do that; he decided it by himself (among other things).

There was one kid on TV, who coud not and did not restrain his extreme
destructiveness, until after huge numbers of medical doctors had
examined him, eventually one of them diagnosed a mineral deficiency
whose satisfaction calmed him down, but until then, for about 7 years,
he was a horror and a terror of his family 's lives. He was a lunatic.
He tried to burn down his school. Thay feared for their lives and property.

I have never met any kid like that, nor any person who was like that, as a kid,
but we know that thay have existed. Thay 've said so themselves.

U had enuf luck that u did not have to put up with that.
I am glad that I did not roll the dice.
Since I was 11, MY rule on taking chances has been:
don 't risk more than u r willing to lose.





David
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2009 10:36 am
@Francis,
Francis wrote:

However, I was thinking it was a good thing from the offspring point of view...
I shoud supplement my earlier response
by noting that if I had a child, and if we got along reasonably well,
I 'd feel morally bound to keep him happy.
I 'd give him plenty of cash, more than what is usual.
I 'd financially support his enjoyment of the entertainments of his choice.
I 'd give earnest consideration to his wishes, which I 'd be inclined to gratify (within reason).
He 'd live in an environment of libertarian freedom, as I did, as a kid, and since then.

Hence, if u implied in your remark that the offspring 'd be in a state of unhappiness, then u r probably in error
(unless he were too intent upon accelerating the advent of his inheritance).





David
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2009 11:06 am
David wrote:
I 'd give him plenty of cash, more than what is usual.


For him to buy guns or for you to buy his love?

David also wrote:
I 'd financially support his enjoyment of the entertainments of his choice.


Even though it would be doing drugs?
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2009 11:43 am
@Francis,
David wrote:
I 'd give him plenty of cash, more than what is usual.

Francis wrote:
Quote:
For him to buy guns or for you to buy his love?
Well, thay BOTH sound good.
Y do u put it in the disjunctive ?
IF he chooses to love me (or anyone)
I imagine that he shoud have a competent REASON for it.


David also wrote:
I 'd financially support his enjoyment of the entertainments of his choice.

Quote:
Even though it would be doing drugs?

I don t believe that I 'd be inclined to support that.
Y do u think that he 'd become involved in that, Francis ?
His (theoretical) father never did.

Yet, I must admit that this IS among the possibilities
and it is among the reasons that I 'm very pleased to have no kids.





David
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  2  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2009 12:39 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
OmSigDAVID wrote:
This seems unusual.
I don 't mean to be facetious, but Y do u get raped so much ?


You are not facetious at all Smile

I was a homeless teenage girl.
Perfect target.
And some where in side of me I KNEW that and I wore it like a badge.
Attracting , in a certain sense.. that very behavior .

Im no longer her.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2009 03:07 pm
@shewolfnm,
shewolfnm wrote:

OmSigDAVID wrote:
This seems unusual.
I don 't mean to be facetious, but Y do u get raped so much ?


You are not facetious at all Smile

I was a homeless teenage girl.
Perfect target.
And some where in side of me I KNEW that and I wore it like a badge.
Attracting, in a certain sense.. that very behavior .

Im no longer her.
Sincerely, I am sorry that your life was so bad.
If u will permit me to inquire into your state-of-mind at the time:
will u describe how u felt about it? Fear? Abhorence of potential rapists? Dread ?

When I was a teenage boy, and younger than that,
I desired the pleasures of sexuality, tho I was fairly well prepared
to defend myself from violent abuses of ANY kind.

As u lived your life in those times, how did u feel about those rapes?





`
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2009 03:14 pm
@shewolfnm,
shewolfnm wrote:
Dumped all I needed to dump and have worked through how this event made me feel.


That's so good to hear. It sounds like you really broke through/past something.
0 Replies
 
 

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