Something Mentally changed in my husband! Help!

ive been with my husband for 13 years. hes always been the most mentally stable person I know. smart , well mannered , handsome , Educated , and a drive for life.
2 years ago he had a work accident. he broke his back , and has been off work since. He's doing fine , but some massive red flags have been showing and I have no idea where to turn.
My husband has always been against drugs. the kind of man who wouldn't take a T4 for his back because of the ingredients... over the past few years , since the accident , male friends have made comments about drugs and I pushed it off assuming jealously or attempt to come between us. I mean , my husband ? Never. In October , he got pulled over. with cocaine in my car.... and our smallest child. shocked I asked " who for ?? " … that's when I found out my husband was a addict. instantly asked him to leave , to be blindsided with " the cocaine helps the pain.. the pain from his liver cancer... " I felt terrible. invited him home. and hes here to the day.. money kept missing , lies kept growing. hes taken me off his next to kin , I cannot access medical records. they have no patient by his name at the cancer clinic. hes went as far as telling our kids.... .I , in my heart... believe . its lies.
never have I seen paper work. never medication other then his back problems. nothing. today, we had a argument. while I am at work and I receive a photo of a toilet of blood and blood dripping down his mouth. I left work , and hes gone " to the hospital " which again , I don't believe. I have contacted social services... and my words were... if this is true. ill never forgive myself. to spit up on his last leg of life. hes only 36. hes said its terminal , and stage 4. but if this is lies, I already know hes stolen from me , many times. money I save for OUR kids for drugs. hes lied, hes making up stories when caught in bad lies , to distract. hes probably making up cancer stories ,which touches home as I have buried my sibling recently. a few weeks ago he left with a rope to commit suicide , while he knows... I struggle daily , with a parent who has commited suicide. I cannot let him just tear me apart here. I have 3 children and I work endless hours to support him and the children so he can heal. to get robbed , lied to , and laughed at in return. I think hes loosing his mind and I think there is more mentally wrong with him then physically . a few nights ago , I got woke up to him 3am screaming death was here to take him. he had all the childrens keep sakes in his pocket. and was barricaded in our house by chairs and tables against the door. I kinda hoped he was on drugs at this point. I was scared for him. he was not...…. is it common for mental illness to blow up at his age? hes 36. is it from the cocaine spree he went threw ( he says 6 months. I think 1 year to 18 months ) or.... is this a sign of mental illness? in 13 years , we had one physical altercation. where he shoved me. once. we have had 10 in the padt year, with some serious physical bruises , cuts etc. hes become a lot less tolerant , hes aggressive with me , he has hit me , spit on me, slashed my tires, beat out my windows. and on the end of it all , he has a way to guilt me into feeling like its my fault.

I love this man. I am 31. ive spent my whole life with him. hes my entire world aside from our children. this isn't him. I hold on , I want to help. I don't want him to die alone if the case , nor do I want to walk , if this is mental illness and he needs help. marriage is suppose to be threw thick and thin , I want to be here for him! but I don't know what to do. I am sick of feeling like Its me. like I am the reason for every fault. that I am bad for even writing this considering hes actually lying and not sick. hes never produced any paper work . nothing to back anything up. ive given such nice soft, I understand , ways for him to back down from these and move on. he hasn't budged. hes affecting my income ( ours ) as I come home often as hes sick.... ill loose my job.... I just need someone to tell me its ok I feel like I do. its ok to assume.. or point me to somewhere I can maybe get some answers.... thank you so much !!!!!! praying for myself... my children , and my sick Husband..