My Wife is a food addict

Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2020 03:29 am
Hello everybody,

I'm new here so I don't know if this is the correct way to post a topic, but here goes.

So here's my issue, my wife is a food addict.

She knows she's a food addict, she admits it but she keeps hiding it from me. She buys unhealthy snacks, eats them hiding from me, she has lied to me about it in the past (to my knowledge she has been straight forward with me since I caught her lying)

She's still young (29) and does a lot of exercise, so up until now there's visually no consequence from that. Nevertheless it worries me, first because of her health on the long term, Diabetes, cholesterol etc.
Second, because she wont be able to exercise it away for much longer, this will catch up to her sooner or later.
Third we want to have children in the future and she has to have this addiction "controlled" before she gets pregnant.

What makes this worse, she's a doctor, so she thinks she knows better.

She's stubborn with this, because of course, she's an addict. She's had some "sober moments" where she admits she's addicted and for some days she tries to stop with the snacks etc... and then, 3days later she's back at it.

On top of it all, food addiction is the worse because she does have to eat, so I makes it more difficult to manage.

I've tried several approaches to cope and help her deal with that but she's so stubborn, I don't know what else to do, so here I am reaching out.

Thank you

Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2020 05:53 am
Time to suggest that she get therapy.

I say this as someone who's battled with their weight for my entire life.

This is above your pay grade, and it will only lead to fights. Let the therapist take the brunt of that.
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Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2020 06:47 am
Excellent advice from Jespah, as one would expect.

Now for a little musical interlude:

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Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2020 07:08 am
Instead of trying to control what someone eats (which, you can't) try to understand why and what she's stressed about. You state she's a doctor. That's stress in unbelievable proportions. And you're worried about a candy bar? Your priorities are skewed.

It also seems like your pestering about eating "healthy" isn't helping her at all. She's taken to hiding it and it could get worse unless you back off.

Having a candy bar isn't a problem. Eating 25 candy bars is. But she's not doing that and she is exercising.

So... I think you're over reacting. I don't see a food addiction, I see stress. Alleviate the stress and the rest should follow.
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bobsal u1553115
Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2020 07:55 am
Spousal abusers also try to control their partner's eating habits.

She's doing what she wants, she's certanly qualified to understand risk and risk management, and she seems content with it.

Only you aren't coping with it.

I'm inclined to believe this is a control issue you have to deal with.
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Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2020 07:56 am
She doesn't exhibit characteristics of an addict.

The “hiding” of the snacks may be from the shame she gets from you. Stop shaming her.

Unless a therapist has diagnosed this, it is just your opinion.

I know of many people who hide their chocolate and other snacks. Sometimes its to prevent other family members from hogging all the goodies Or to have a well deserved indulgence.
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Reply Fri 29 May, 2020 10:06 am
How do you define food addiction? Would be interesting to me. We all have to eat, and that constantly. So when do you define one being addicted to food?
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