Dear Huntress
No reason not to let the unlucky fellows know quite immediately you've decided they fall in that category. Time saver for everyone.
How not interested? Why not a dating pool for a little while? A good first impression might not last - you might find one of the lesser candidates better on second viewing. I'd only say no thank you immediately to the totally vomit-inducing, like the one with dirty ears. <bleccchhhh - that is a non-starter in my life>
but what of those middlings?
dirty ears...? hmmmm.
There is a lot of weeding done before I even respond or respond more than once to these online guys. I know your (ehBeth)'s perspective quite well by now and in it's light I've been less likely to narrow the field so quickly.
So many questions.. So many problems.. That's why I'd NEVER date anyone I met on-line.. Nope, Not me!
Who's fishin' dating?! Who who who?!
I agree about middlin'. Sometimes lightning strikes, sometimes they grow on you. And sometimes they turn out to be good friends who themselves have friends... (Just read somewhere that that is the single most effective way to find a compatible partner -- be set up by a mutual friend.)
In any case, my advice (solicited? unsolicited? am I on the panel of experts? I'll plow on) is to just go ahead and hang out with whomever is not horrible, no particular expectations. You can never have too many friends. If they fail even in the friend department -- just no fun, nohow, blech, ew, get away -- well then say sayonara.
i met one of the the members here, from abuzz, best thing i ever did.
you never really know til you put yourself out there and take a chance.
been blown off alot, by superficial people posing as something they are not tho. no loss there.
mikey52 wrote:you never really know til you put yourself out there and take a chance.
been blown off alot, by superficial people posing as something they are not tho. no loss there.
A piece of good advice, followed by a wise observation. Personally, in the days before i found Lovey, i liked meeting ladies in supermarkets or laundromats, because they were far less likely to be attempting to appear as something they are not . . .
littlek
To clarify, in my last post (responding to your 'when do I let them know' question), I wasn't suggesting instant judgement or categorization, rather just that if someone has pretty clearly fallen into the 'not compatible' column, I'd recommend not much delay in kindly letting them know that you've just been assigned to the embassy in Vladivostoc and fly out tomorrow.
I like the idea of a dating pool for ya, K... unless you're absolutely sure that the guy in question is not-not-not for you. If they could be friends, maybe that would be good enough. Definitely I think should tell all that, "Thanks but I'm going to continue to look." That should say plenty in itself.
Setanta - You really met somebody in a grocery store?
Lovey would tell you that i'm an incurable flirt . . . so be it.
I speak to people in public, the fact that they are complete strangers to me doesn't matter. And, for whatever reason, women i've never met speak to me in public all the time. In stores and laundromats, they usually aren't wearing five pounds of make-up and foundation garments from the Wardrobe Department at Warner Bros., so you are usually seeing the real "her."
I frequently speak to people in public... I learned it from my mom. Everybody was worried sick that I'd talk to people in NYC and endanger myself!
You know, Boss, if yer in Times Square, about nine out of ten people you encounter do not reside in NYC--so if you meet loonies there, and i guarantee you will if you spend more than 15 minutes, they are not likely to be New Yorkers. In residential neighborhoods, in the stores and other public places of those neighborhoods, New Yorkers are, in the essentials, like people anywhere in the US.
In 69, I landed in New York with $40 and a time-line to hitch here to Vancouver in 8 days for a brother's wedding, and the airlines had lost my sleeping bag.
Thumbing out of New York city took four rides. The last of these was with a fellow just back from Viet Nam - and he was the only sane one of the four.
My first ride was with a fellow, about 40, in a beat up old Chevy. I get on board, there's a brief exchange re where I'm heading, then quiet. He is, I note, an appropriate match for the sadly dented auto he's piloting me in. He has the radio on. A song is playing and the song writer must have had a bad day when it was composed. He'd had tough times in the past but now, his girl had left him, and it just might be a mountain too high to climb. My pilot, hands still tightly gripping the wheel, turned to me, eyes wide, and said, "That's just the way it is. Climb one mountain, and then there is just another one." He turned back to the road.
The other two were weirder.
Hitchin' is a whole nother world . . . haven't done it in years, an' feel i'm too old to do it again, but, damn, what an education that was in the day . . .
It was great, wasn't it. When a buddy and I were on the Costa del Sol, the hitching competition was intense. We succeeded where others failed when I climbed up on the buddy's shoulders and played my guitar. And the two french girls who picked us up were...tourist friendly.
Ah yer a bad man, so ye are . . . i found cleanliness a great help. I always carried clean clothing, and got off the road to find a laundromat if necessary. I also always carried soap and razors. I once bathed in the Santa Rosa river (New Mexico/Tejas border) in September, of an early morning. Cold as hell, but i've been in situations in which people would pass other hitchhikers, and stop for me . . . and it happened that time, too.
Damn! Cleanliness...never even thought of that one!
