Crushes

A crush--an intense infatuation. I've have more than my fair share. On boys in my class at school. In the neighborhood. Around. Almost always unattainable.

Even as an adult, I still get crushes --usually an actor or singer.

Of all the crushes I've had, only two lasted. I still have them.

My first crush was on Elvis. I remember the first time I saw him. I was ten. I remember all the details of the room and the company as I watched a small black-and-white tv screen and saw HIM on the Dorsey show (can't remember if it was Tommy or Jimmy). He got my juices flowing, my heart pounding, my somthing somethinged. I was obsessed. I got Elvis 78s. Elvis bubble gum cards. Elvis picture books. I sat on the floor in front of the first row of the movie theater that showed his first movie--Love Me Tender. Why on the floor? Because girls came to the theater to see him and wouldn't leave. But management kept letting people in.

When I was in college, Elvis was out--but not with me. I snuck off to see his terrible movies.

I forgave him his Vegas persona. His goofy outfits. His horrible arrangements. I forgave him everything.

When he died, I sat in my apartment in the dark on the floor in front of the radio listening to his music being played and crying like a baby.

My major second crush--not quite as intense but just as enduring--was on Paul Newman. I met him once. I couldn't speak. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't function. I still get all soft and gooey when I think about him. See his films. Sigh.

What is this phenomenon? Is it more specific to girls than boys? Am I unusual in having such a sustained fascination? What's your take on this? Anybody else have a crush for fifty years? Or one that's lasted? Or one you want to talk about?

(BTW, I think I'm a sucker for blue eyes.)