And the president of, what was it? A media group?
To the OP.
I’m not slamming you, but I really can’t make heads or tails of what you wrote, or what you are seeking advice or help with.
Is it your feeling that the group you are captain of doesn’t respect you?
Or is it more about your feelings towards a boy?
I know these 2 different things can be intertwined but you’re going to have to separate them out for us, and stick to the essentials. Because you wrote this in a wall of text all I could feel while reading this was that it was all over the place, and I couldn’t keep any straight.
Also, I’m not clear if you’re a girl or a boy, what your age is, and what country and or culture you are from.
Knowing all this would help.