I think the quiet has a different quality when it's entirely my place & not "our" place, with the other person missing. Oh, & I listen to the radio & music a lot, too. And talk, talk, talk on the phone! 
Thanks, msolga, I will offer my perspective at some point. Right now I have to get ready to go out.
Lash wrote:msolga--
A pleasure, Lash.
Finding & staying in work takes up a considerable amount of time. <gnash, gnash>. And going on 3 years ago I moved to this little Victoria terrace house which has consumed huge amounts of my time & energy: establishing & maintaining a garden, mowing lawns, dealing with the washing machine breaking down, etc., the sick cat, cooking meals, "home improvements", endless tradesmen, etc, etc, etc! These things take a lot more time when only one person is doing them!
Ah, but you mean pleasure things, yes? Friends have always been very important to me & never more important than now. We share our lives. It gives me enormous pleasure. Nothing very unusual, like this Friday night A & I went on a Brunswick St crawl - dinner, bookshops, clothes, jewelry ... no stone was left unturned!
And of course, sometimes being alone is lonely. But I honestly think that sort of lonely is preferable to the loneliness of being in a disastrous relationship. That was bad lonely!
msolga wrote:dlowan wrote:Actually, I have wondered a tad about the "merged" stuff you have described....
But I do not think those merged relationships are necessarily abusive...just meeting extreme neediness....
I think it depends on the degree of merging, Deb. And the underlying reasons for why?
What do you think re why?
In your case? If you wanna comment here....could move the conversation if you wish....
msolga wrote:Your attitude is the one I'm trying to cultivate. You think of all the things you couldn't do and wanted to--or feel free to find new things--
I'm going to enjoy "dawdling." No one will be waiting for me, I won't be in a hurry.
Your Brunswick St crawl sounded heavenly.
I think a new place to live would help. A place where I don't feel absences.
Good ideas. Thank you!
Yes, enjoy your dawdles. They're a luxury, you know!
And you know, a smaller, new place might not be bad a bad idea, Lash. It'll cerainly keep you busy, getting it how you want it & learning about a whole new area. I've certainly enjoyed it!
And now I really must get showered & get myself to this 2 pm meeting!
I've really enjoyed and appreciated everyone's comments here. Thanks, everyone! I shall return!
) but goofy should never be underrated.
Apologies to msolga et al, I don't want to divert this thread. It's too good.
I thought the thread was sleeping. So I've just come across your posts, Tico, & the later ones from Lash. 
