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ME MYSELF I - The pros & cons of the solo life

 
 
msolga
 
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 05:48 am
How many of you A2Kers live alone?
What do you see as the good things about living the solo life?
And what are some of the down sides for you?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 22 • Views: 43,394 • Replies: 840

 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 05:52 am
Just curious to know how others in this situation are faring.
It's a relatively new situation for me & I'm just starting to get used to it ...
Sometimes I really love the freedom Very Happy , but at other times .. well, one can feel a little lost. Rolling Eyes
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 05:57 am
thinking
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Grand Duke
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 06:38 am
Are you only talking about being single & living alone, or does being single but living with housemates qualify?
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 06:42 am
Grand Duke

Any form of solo life is fine.
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Grand Duke
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 07:49 am
msolga wrote:
Sometimes I really love the freedom Very Happy , but at other times .. well, one can feel a little lost. Rolling Eyes


I've been single for 8 of the last 10 years. Sometimes I listen to my (attached/married) friends complaining about how their better-half has them under the thumb, and how they have no freedom to make their own decisions. That's when singledom seems like a good thing. If you want to go out or stay in, there is no 'consulting' involved. I can do what I want when I want.

On the other hand, sometimes when I see couples holding hands in the street or enjoying a romantic meal in a restaurant, it can be pretty depressing thinking about getting home and going to bed alone for the umpteenth time.

I would say that I never feel lost, but quite often feel alone. There are times when friends & family just aren't enough.

If it's not too personal to ask, who's decision was it for you and your last partner to split up?
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 09:57 am
I live alone ( or at least without other humans). I like it.
I have liked living with other people in the past, but I like this.
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Dartagnan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 10:24 am
Living alone has its pluses and minuses:

Plus: Things are the way you left them at home when you return from being away.

Minus: Things are the way you left them at home when you return from being away.

Which is my way of saying a lot of it (for me, at least) lies in how I view the situation...
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eoe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 12:06 pm
Just last night I totaled up the number of years I lived alone. Fourteen. Not long by some standards, too long by others. I miss, most of all, the freedom of not having to compromise about a damn thing.
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Dartagnan
 
  2  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 12:29 pm
Home Is So Sad
by Philip Larkin

Home is so sad. It stays as it was left,
Shaped to the comfort of the last to go
As if to win them back. Instead, bereft
Of anyone to please, it withers so,
Having no heart to put aside the theft.

And turn again to what it started as,
A joyous shot at how things ought to be,
Long fallen wide. You can see how it was:
Look at the pictures and the cutlery.
The music in the piano stool. That vase.
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Heeven
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 01:37 pm
I love living alone ... love it love it love it.

I had a partner (lived in another state) and enjoyed being with him at weekends and then was happy to have my place all to myself during the week.

Since I am not the marrying kind, I have no problem with living alone. I really like it. I could never imagine me living with anyone else. I don't even like room-mates.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 01:42 pm
I like my privacy--and on the topic of roommates, one of the first things which i noticed (having lived for years with one or more "housemate") was that when i arose in the morning, the same food was in the fridge as had been there the night before.

I like not being obliged to put clothes on when i walk around, or to leave the room to blow my nose, not being obliged to turn up the radio or close the door because the tv is so loud. I like knowing that when i lay down to sleep, i will get up when i wake up, and not when some idiot comes in drunk, or starts a shouting match with his girlfriend.

At my age, i should have done this long ago, but i'm cheap.

The down side is, when i'm lonely or bored, there's really nothing for it other than to get in the jeep and drive somewhere. I blacked out one day in the bathroom, and awoke to find myself lying on the floor by the tub, with a towel rod in my hand, nearly bent double (i apparantly grabbed it on the way down). I didn't know how long i had lain there, and the doctor could not find any explanation. It did make me think about how helpless i could be if something happened.

Mostly, i prefer to live alone, or with a cuddly girl and many small dogs--whichever.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 01:43 pm
those are some cuddly dogs in that avatar. :: big big big smile ::
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margo
 
  2  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 02:48 pm
I live alone, (except for the boss-cat!) and I'm much happier.

Living with someone in a relatonship that's going downhill, but hasn't quite broken, is just a nightmare.

I sometimes miss someone to share things with, but...tht's what the telephone is for.

Sharing - likewise.

Lately, an elderly relative has been staying with me a lot - and it's been a horror. She torments Possum, nothing is where you left it, and you can't find it, she needs entertaining, waiting on, etc.

I get home from work, and instead of relaxing, it's full on - she wants a cooked meal, someone to talk to, company, ....arrrggghhh!

She's gone home again now, and Poss and I are revelling in the quiet!
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Heeven
 
  2  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 02:48 pm
I envisioned something similar Setanta. I had thoughts a while ago about dropping dead in my apartment (around the time of that reporter who dropped dead in Iraq of an embolism in his leg) and no-one knowing about it for ages, or my family having to come over and go through my stuff. It made me tidy up a bit and hide my playthings (!), but that didn't last long. I also like to be naked in my apartment - NOT something a roommate could handle thank you very much. I once saw a movie about a landlord who secretly taped his tenants and posted the action on the internet. I laughed out loud at the thought of my landlord doing that to me ... I would have to pay psychiatrists costs for the public if they viewed that!
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Dartagnan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 03:38 pm
I live alone, too, except for a cat. And whenever things are getting too routine, she barfs on the rug just to remind me what it's like to live with another being!
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eoe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 03:41 pm
Hell, I hate the idea of my husband going through my stuff as well. I've decided that everything I don't want him to see (my old journals mostly. 50+ books) I'll dump into a wooden crate, lock up and take to much younger friends' house to set on fire when I depart.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 03:45 pm
It is swings and roundabouts - living with others can be fantastic - or horrible - usually a bit of both, no?

Partners? Hmmmm - I like them to go home after a couple of days, I must say.

Living alone is wonderfully free - but expensive!

I like both.
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quinn1
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 04:35 pm
Living alone certainly does wonders for the nekidness, the untidy times, and the ability to sleep when you want.
Having had roommates in the past, I really really dread the thought of ever having to do that again...I never came up lucky on the roommate side of things.
As for live in partners...it depends on the partner all in all. Have had mostly good times...you know..since Im not with them now, there were those moments that qualify as pure hell and damnation but, in general a nice thing.
I think it isnt so rough on me due to being an only child and having to always have had to entertain and like myself so, although yes, there are lonely times, mostly Im pretty good with the alone thing.
Basics on the Pros/Cons
Pros-
You can be nekid, adventurous, pissy, happy, tidy, slobbish, late, early, couch potato like, unhealthy food consumption needs, uncommunicative, basically pretty well balanced with no comments or problems really. You can be with who you want when you want...no forcing of peoples of any kind.
Your stuff is safe and you are the only one who can break or get rid of it.
You can also talk to yourself without many sideways looks.
Cons-
When you fall and crack your head open you must pull yourself indoors to the phone for assistance (Ive experienced this more times than I want to remember--one time almost blacking out in the bathroom nekid and I swear the only reason didnt was because I didnt want to be found that way), no one to help you carry stuff or give a ride when the car needs work, get a hug on a bad day, ponder the questions of life with till all hours, those moments that having someone around is good. You also dont experience new people or places as much as you would with the influence of another person.

Get a cat...mine are wonderful...so are the fish. They really do help with those creep up on you lonley thoughts.
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Aug, 2003 04:42 pm
I have two roomates, but we're in a pretty big house, so it's not too cramped. Three bathrooms/two floors+big basement make it easier.

But you know what the best part about having roomates is? Pranks you can pull on them. Nothing says "fun" like anal rape for the goof!
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