Indeed, I think some people do fear aloneness. Maybe more so in the states than in Oz.
I certainly do, from time to time, k.
But, when I really think about it, I think I felt more alone in some of my relationships than I do actually living alone.
Mmm, I think I fear living alone as a much older person (70s-90s), but I don't fear it at all now. I do get sad sometimes about it.
Me, too! But, after some very harrowing experiences of "working to make it work" in a very long relationship, for the time being at least, living alone right now is by far the best option for me, k. Ya gotta let those wounds heal, ya know! :wink: And while I'm at it, why not make the most of it, instead of longing for something else? Living in the present can be good!
Agreeing with you both, I am.
I am not (of course) an enforcement type person, but I wish more of us weren't so desperate to tie up all the time, that people could take time-outs. I see Fear of Aloneness as such a motivator for so many posters in Relationships on this forum (and have been that way, and have had friends who were so keen) - such a wish to flee being by oneself. I think it multiplies too, as the more you flee, the less you develop your own resources of mind and spirit.
Oh, I totally agree with you, osso! In the "urge to merge" it's possible to make one's life even more harrowing than it was as a solo person. Best to just try to enjoy to the fullest whatever phase of life one's in at the time. I see so many unfortunate "merges" occur in the desperation to avoid aloneness!
I love to be alone, but spending to much time alone leads to insanity...lol
I agree, I agree, stand up!
It can lead to extravagant forms of weirdness!
ossobuco wrote:Bowing....
Not sure what you mean there, osso.
Have YOU, perhaps, developed your own particular form of "extravagant weirdness"? :wink:
Agreed in Boston. I do have friends though. And, I have a buddy I can call if I get desperate enough for that which only an intimate friend can provide.
LK
Do you have an "F" buddy? Alot of people do.
msolga wrote: It can lead to extravagant forms of weirdness!
That is funny, because it's true. I'm sitting here wondering what I do that might be considered weird.
I think I spend to much time on A2K.
F buddy would be synonomous with the type of friendship I was alluding to.
Me, too, Paula! But I'm about to leave it for a bit to go shop.
Ever found yourself having an animated argument with someone whose not there?
The best thing is that you get to WIN those ones! :wink:
littlek wrote:F buddy would be synonomous with the type of friendship I was alluding to.
Have you ever considered a career in politics, k? You're a natural!
OK, night night to you all .... Please continue!
Actually, it's a beautiful, sunny afternoon here ... I was saying goodnight to you all!
And this time I'm really going. I mean it!
Byeeee!
ooooh, have a wonderful day!
I have to say, I'm not sure that this "Fbuddy" of mine fits the definition. He's a guy I used to date, casually. We haven't been out for months. I am 99% sure that if I called him up for dinner, sex would follow. But, I haven't actually tested that theory. It's a safety net - it feels good that the option is there.
